Like always, droplets slid down her skin
Stilling my mind and replacing any thoughts
With a rush of yearning
And as she slid in
Tears immediately sprang forth
For her warmth was oh so welcome
As I lay in a room almost lightless and foreign

Her fingers curved around
The angles of my face
As she lay in the warm covers
Of my bed with me.
Our foreheads joining
And our eyelids slowly closing,
The haunting light of the
Unknown shining through
Curtained windows
Were forgotten.

I want to be treated gently
And yet valuably at the same time.
I want to be in your embrace
And yet sharing my hugs when you're not fine.
I'd give.... To build that value,
A value I cannot find...
For love is a construct
In a society that views construct as wine;
Bought, spent, intoxicating...
Not a feeling developed over time,
Not a feeling of mutual respect,
Not a feeling learning and value...

And I do want love,
But not in a society like mine...

No conversations to be overheard
The irregular ticking of the character keys on a laptop
Carrying through the carriage
The sound of metal water bottles opening
The warmth... In this usually cool atmosphere
Is almost all encompassing

Whispers...

Whispers of danger
Creeping closer
Slowly...
Chaotically...
And one by one
A sneeze
A request to be excused
The escaping vibrating pitches from earphones
The instinct to protect oneself
Almost overwhelming
Instead
Conversations dim
And thoughts halter
The body preparing itself...
Or maybe it's just me

I who have a hollow shaft
I,
Who lilts with the barest surge of wind,
I... who has fallen from the
Grace of my comfort
And has nothing to lean back on... I...

I see the ink of many
Vibrant, loud and subtle
Colours that fly around
Colours that I reach out for
And write with.
And yet where
Is my ink?
Am I doomed to
Nonexistence?
And yet I
In my own essence
Gurgle, fluctuate,
Still finding my flow
Against the turbulence of
My mind fraught with
Dissociated thoughts.

And as the feather flows against
The winds
Swaying
Gently
My ink is of air
And world
And nature

Static
------
A mixture of
Coloured pixels
Combining to make
Grey
--Uncertainty--
Vibrating from ear
To ear
Pulsing through
My mind and heart
        -- why--
A colourful mess
That I both comprehend
Yet
Yet....
It's still a mess to
--Compreh  -end--
Each pixel seemingly
Jagged
-- No -
.
.

Stillness
Just the usual static
Except
In the wrong place
At the wrong time...

Don't come closer

I'm freezing
At a temperature that's okay -
Just at the brink of chaos
Having pulled together
After my fray -
In a tower smoothly
Frozen over
A settling cold
No need to race towards
The warmth of the sun

I'm anxious

Eyes almost closed,
Ear, cheek, temple
Resting on the comforting
Frozen wall,
Tears comfortably swimming
In my eyes and
Flowing through my mind
I'm hurt
My fingers twitch by my side
I am no longer comfortable in
My clothes
And I
As I lay in this pool of moving
Unmoving darkness
I am drained
What--
I am comfortable

.
.
.

Days pass into weeks
And weeks pass into years
And my sentience has
Sharpened the blade of
Misery
I stare at my shaking fingers
My empty landscape
The tall ceilings of the foreboding
Ice palace
And it the world begins to
Make sense

Eyes lidded

There's a fire
Rekindling in my heart
Having been diminished to
Decay
Little fires licking and leaping
Only to be drenched in water
Frozen and
Laid bare again

A passage through my eyes

I can't help it
I desire
And yet I want to respect
A you that won't
Always pass me again.
And I want and I want
Please give me this
But I'll hold back
...

"There's this dance
That I've memorised"
Whispers a voice by my side
Pulling me along
Twirling me to her foreside

"Should I show you it?"
Fingers smoothing
The crease between my brows,
Fingers tracing my cheek
Down to my hand

Eyes closed, she pulls me forward
Steps not unfamiliar,
"~~~"
~~~

The warmth on my skin
Slowly fades, no more than
A distant memory

"Of course,

The words echo in my ears
Dimming to a loud buzz

Wavering,
"Thank you for the dance."