Unknown: Favorites

Sep 2018 Unknown

Becky

He comes home in a drunken rage
Grabs her hair and smashed her face
She is begging on the floor
He just smirks and gives her more
He tells her to go clean her face
While he is on the phone to his mate
She is shaking and scared inside
In her hair the blood is dried
She lays down and wished she died
She closes her eyes trying not to breathe
Living in this life she has weaved

She wakes up broken and bruised
He lies there smelling of *****
She tries to hide the abuse
But she knows it’s no use
So she hides from her family and friends
Knowing that he will do it again

She lies in a hospital bed
Tubes all round her she hopes she is dead.
She can hear her mums silent cry
And the sad look in her eyes
Her dad paces back and forth
Leaving marks on the hospital floor

Darkness comes to take her away
But she decides to fight another day

Her eyes slowly open and she knows
That it’s time to let him go

#domestic #violence #hurt #pain #abuse

Sep 2018 Unknown

Doll House

Sep 2018 Unknown

MalakF

Doll House

Warning: rules of a normal family life do not apply in this house.
If you are under their roof then you just have to deal with the abuse.

#abuse #home #house #broken #pain

Sep 2018 Unknown

collapse

Sep 2018 Unknown

Kelly Weaver

collapse

Our home has an uneven foundation
The walls are crumbling and the support beams are rotting
And tonight, the roof finally caved in.
As my lungs filled with sawdust I covered my ears
I covered my eyes and hid from my fears
I didn’t wanna hear the screams or the tears,
I couldn’t bare to hear promises of suicide
And claims of pure hatred with a dash of cyanide
I couldn’t bare to see my home topple over
And I couldn’t bring myself to look at their hands bunched up into fists
They screamed until they couldn’t make a sound and I couldn’t deal
I couldn’t witness such a catastrophe without being scarred so I ran and I hid
I hid from their words and I hid from their lies
I hid until the worst of it was over
And then all was quiet.

When I opened my eyes, the walls were intact
The beams were solid, the floor was leveled
And everyone was smiling.
Their teeth were black with ash and soot
But they smiled wide, grinning ear to ear
And their voices were calm, the yelling had ceased
I uncovered my ears.
And though their mouths told one story
Their eyes told another
They were red and puffy, and I could see the pain that the damage caused
But they smiled on anyway
As did I.

the draft, however, remained.

#family #depression #drama #abuse #suicide

Sep 2018 Unknown

Nutcracker

Sep 2018 Unknown

gleck

Nutcracker

I feel my outsides crack.
"Please-" I beg. "I take it back."
A set of white teeth glisten.
Bad words, mad words, I still listen.

With your fingers you paint me purple and blue.
Each spot a slightly different hue.
Then in front of others I wear a mask.
"I'm clumsy" - I tell those who ask.

You are all bark- yet you bite.
I shiver in fright.

You tell me I'm small.
What am I to you, a nut?
Mr. Nutcracker.

Not based on any of my experiences

#abuse #bad #abusive #bruises #violence #negative

Aug 2018 Unknown

BPD

Aug 2018 Unknown

Angela Rose

BPD

I knew there was something wrong with her when I was 10
I found a magazine report about borderline personality disorder
I was reading in the school library and I started crying
I could never have put a word on what was different about my mother
But there it was, plain as day
The way she could stay in bed till 3 in the afternoon with the blinds closed
The way some days we would laugh as she asked me if I wanted to play hooky and skip out on school
We would go grab frappucinos at Starbucks and rummage through countless thrift store shelves
But some days, some days I would be screamed at until I cried
Some days I would lock myself in the bedroom until I needed to come out
Some days I would stay at school extra long and just put off going home altogether
Some days my brother and I were burdens
Some nights we would get to order pizzas and drink Coke and some nights we were told to find food for ourselves
Always with the paranoia and the headaches and the inability to do anything
Consistent with the anger and the depression
Consistent with the exhaustion and the impulsive natures
The pills never helped, the pills never made things better
Fourteen years later and things are no better, things are no easier
Things have made no progression
Fourteen years later and we don’t speak

#family #mother #mom #*** #borderline #depression #bipolar #mental #illness #persona

Jul 2018 Unknown

please, you have to understand.

Jul 2018 Unknown

Daphne

please, you have to understand.

please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my mood swings,
i am not my fear of talking on phones.

please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my depressive episodes,
i am not my medications i must take.

please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my fear of eating,
i am not my fear of being replaced or ignored.

understand, i am not my depression.

understand, i am not my anxiety.

understand, i am not my PMDD.

understand, i am not my BPD.

understand, i am not my eating disorder.

please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am my love of cats,
and i am my admiration of everything musical.

please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am a lover of stationery,
and i am a lover of every single living creature.

please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am one who eats one too many brownies,
and i am one who cares for the entirety of the environment.

please, see past my mental disorder(s).
see the real me,
not just the chemistry in my brain.

please, see my lust for life.
see me beating stereotypes,
see me being me.

I know that this is quite the bit long, but so is my journey.

#depression #anxiety #suicide #bpd #pmdd #mentaldisorder #sad

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