Maybe it's a good thing I have a broken heart.
I tend to attract broken people
and stray animals.
That crowd doesn't demand very much;
they just want to be loved.
And giving them a piece of me
is all I'm capable of.
Maybe I'd be happier if my heart was whole.
But I tend to attract broken people
and stray animals.
That crowd requires a lot of love
and needs me to be there.
And if my heart wasn't in pieces,
it'd be much harder to share.

I have evolved

to survive in the blackest depths
where there is no light, no sound.
To survive at the tallest heights
where the air is too thin to breathe.
Yet, I am being crushed by the immense pressure
of the unexplored trenches of my mind.
I am being suffocated by the lack of oxygen
at the sickening peaks of my vacant euphoria.

I have evolved

not to thrive, not to live, but to survive, to exist.
I can't remember the last time I felt human
at the apex or the bottom of my trivial existence.
I don't believe that I ever was, because
humans have evolved to live
on stable grounds below the cliffs.
They have evolved to build the ships
that sail above me while I drift.

I have evolved






                                                   ­                                                     only to exist.

Bruises take a long time to heal,
They get worse before they get better.
Black and blue,
Here I am, hiding them,
Yet again,
I feel like a criminal
Hiding evidence.
I've done nothing wrong,
Except be me.
I would give anything,
Everything,
To not be me.

Life, the pursuit of happiness.
Some will go insane trying to fine this "happiness".
They say its just a chemical in balance in your brain,
"Here pop some pills, tell yourself you're happy!"
But what if somewhere along the way we forgot what happy was.
How can we pursue something when we have no idea where to find it, how it feels, what it looks like.
Everyday we'll wake up and place a twinkle in our eyes, a 1000 watt smile on our faces so that those around us don't know.
So that even though the chemical imbalance is there,
And even though we don't know what it feels like, the others around us can go on finding their happienss , forgetting about any of our troubles.

I
    Keep
Clawing
       Away
   But
        You're
   Still
In
     My
  Head

Depression is staying in bed all day
Knowing beside you the demons lay
Not having the strength to stand tall
Knowing if you get up you’ll just fall
It’s feeling alone in a crowded room
Like a wilted flower that cannot bloom
It’s sleeping just to get away from reality
Tossing and turning becomes normality

they asked me
what did YOU do today to make the world a better place?
i looked down at my feet
embarassed
"i woke up"
i said
"i got out of bed"
they looked at me, puzzled
"i didn't let depression win"
a small smile crept across my face
no, my dear, the world the world
what did you do to make  the world  a better place
i took a deep breath
"i told the girl in the bathroom mirror she was beautiful"
"i told the boys to stop bullying the girl in the hallways though i wonder if they heard me"
"i told the empty hallways i'd be okay"
i told depression i'd bury it
i woke up
i got up
i stood up
and i hit "play"