Blind eyes turned
Guilty, trapped in denial
Of what they have done
What have they done
To us all?

Words fall upon deaf ears
Ignorance is their bliss
Never would they confess
Or pay mind to their crimes

Wash their hands clean
Of our tears and pains
Blood unseen is
Blood undrawn

Swallowing pills
To cleanse our mouths
Of the bitter tastes
Of their spoon fed lies

Smell their smoke
From discarded guns
Inhale the fumes
Of their drowning misery

Force-fed the scraps of humanity
Broken and remolded
Burned in their kiln of pressures
To be formed into a strange
Misshapen figure
Manipulated and bruised
Dented and cracked
Not all coal becomes diamonds
Words can break bones
And all of it is real.

- Jay M
September 1st, 2022

Singing like a siren
Wailing like a banshee
A meme specter of whom I used to be

Where am I to go,
What am I to do?
Lost in the vast
Without a single notion or nod
Stumbling, feeling around blindly
Seemingly finding new,
Unforeseen levels of darkness

- Jay M
August 31st, 2022

Here we go
Dancing and spinning
Skip it, don't drip it
Pour pour away
Can’t stay, sorry
Gotta bounce
Might flounce
Just scamper
Right on away
Catch you next time

- Jay M
August 30th, 2022

Fed the scraps
Accepting the slight
Mere ways things
Were better than before
But obsession isn't love
"I love you" isn't an apology
Ideas and imaginations aren't love

Actions speak louder than words
I hoped for acceptance, you gave me
Regurgitated words and thoughts
I hoped for simpler times
You gave me conflicts
And a new part
In my endless
Cycle of this
Pain

It was set up, but I was never warned
Dove into the water head first
Didn't stop to think, not even once
We both wanted happiness,
Neither of us truly are
You may not understand
I didn't either, not at first
But obsession isn't love
"I love you" isn't an apology
Ideas and imagination aren't love

When I saw the flags
Bright scarlet, waving
I ignored them, set them aside
Right in front of me, didn't hide
The facts hit me like waves
But I wouldn't face the truth

I was in love with a fairytale
The idea of you, just as you
Are obsessed with the idea of me
So much so that after a breakup
You mourned louder than a baby
For days and nights, you grieved
Inconsolable, nearly sent away
Nearly sent away, all because;
Obsession isn't love,
"I love you" isn't an apology
Ideas and imagination aren't love
And regurgitating more than simply thoughts
Shouldn't have even happened,
Nor should we have gotten back together

What can I do, what can I say?
There's a line between healthy
And prodding concern
There's a line between love
And deep rooted obsession
There's a line between odd
And perverse collections
There's a line between us
That neither wanted to see
But it's there, it's clear
But lines are often ignored,
Or well worn and misunderstood

Neither wants to face the truth
Surely none moreso than you
But this is all that I can do
So just as predicted,
It's time to see this through;
The story of me and you
Should end here
Not tomorrow,
Not next week;
Now, when you're done
Reading these last few words.

- Jay M
August 26th, 2022

Pressure from those around
That which surrounds
Words fester, linger, poison
Persuade a confused mind
Whisper their insecurities
Their misgivings, their way
Their sway and hold,
Truly a sight to behold

It leaks, it burns
It poisons, it taints
Happiness to bitter
Joy to sorrow
Laughter to cries
Wailing like banshees
Foretelling destruction
Corruption of bliss

Leave me be,
Let me sleep,
Let me sit and weep
Let the memories creep
Let me be alone
Just let me isolate
Let me be
Just let me be

Hidden away from the world
From the people and their words
Their tongues that drip poison
Their voices that speak
Persuade like siren song
Bullets ricochet, songs play
Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep
Sing to me as I sit and weep
Lull me into sleep, take me
Take me away from here,
From this bitter reality
Into the land of dreams
My own little wonderland

- Jay M
August 14th, 2022

Sink or swim
Crash as tidal waves
In the vast, merciless sea
Sink, swim, or float
Effortlessly suspended
Beautifully balanced
Without direction or
Complex meaning
Simply floating
Lost to the waves
Lost to the sea
From whence it came to be.

- Jay M
July 29th, 2022

They wished to break me
To wash away my colors
So I hid them, locked them away
Far away, away, away...

The key, I lost it somewhere
Just out of reach, so now I sit
Lay back, turn up the music
Float in the vast unknown
Into the expanse, detached
Disconnected by this antigravity

When, oh when
Shall I fall unto the ground
And be anchored in my body?
For gone, far away, away, away
Are my colors, hidden from even myself
When they shall return I do not know
Only knowing that they did go
Just out of reach, out of sight
Leaving me with nothing
To hold surely and tight
To save my soul from
This endless night.

- July 19th, 2022
Jay Martinez

Alone am I
Alone are we
Insomniacs, lying awake
Sitting in our beds past midnight
Staring into oblivion, into nothing
Pondering our lives, pondering
Our choices, the world, the universe
Our very existence in this reality

Alone am I
Alone are we
What if I were to disappear?
To be gone from here,
This plain, this place
What if I were to disappear?
What are we, what am I?

Alone am I
Alone are we
Staying up beyond midnight
Unable to sleep, it rejects us
You, reader, and I, writer,
Alone am I
Alone are we

- Jay M
July 8th, 2022

Slowly
It's taking over me
Enticing, it's hypnotic
Sweet summer kisses
Fireflies and gleaming stars
Steady flames, silly little games

Can you feel me now?
Do you feel me now?
Hold me close in the dark
Hearts beating so close
It calls, they call, they beckon
"Come closer, closer now"
Enthralled, I breathe you in
Your scent alluring, I'd swear
It's like my personal drug
And oh, I'm addicted

In my sleep,
You've got me tossing and turning
Conflicted schedules, here and there
Like a tug on my melodic heart
I reckon it only grows fonder
Even if the days are sour and gross
A call from you, and it's all sugar,
Baby you've got me on a high

Sure know how to leave your mark
On my mind all the time
Unlike old hits and misses
Boy you never miss a beat
Memories in picture frames
Never gonna collect dust,
I know it, we'll see
Replay until we rest
Exhausted, side by side
Let's just be.

- Jay M
June 20th, 2022

Haunting, echoing
With every time that I
Close my searching eyes
It's colorful as fireworks
Some darkness, but beautiful
Something wild and wonderful

Every time I close my eyes
It's a calm curiosity
Cold hardwood floors
Warm embraces and
Familiar faces

Every time I close my eyes
It's a grand vastness,
A strange madness
Floating in the expanse
Drifting in the space between

Every time I close my eyes
I am neither here, nor there
Neither then, nor now
Perhaps now and then
When they open, I see
A beam, a ray of light
Guiding me from the endless
Endless nightmare of reality
Leading me away, far away
To where I do not know

Every time I close my eyes
I hope, wish, dream
To open them and be
Gone, gone away from here
In a place where perhaps,
Just maybe, I may belong

Every time I close my eyes
I am, for but a moment,
Gone, lost, disconnected
I have escaped, disappeared
Gone away, vanished
To a place unknown,
To lands uncharted
Besides by the poor
Lone cartographer
Exploring my mind
Ever so curious
As to just what
They may
Find.

- Jay M
June 7th, 2022

If you wish
For the truth
Without a filter,
Without a coat of sugar
Straight to the bitter core
Ask, and you shall know
You shall finally see
All that which is
That lies here
Awaiting
Those
Eyes

- Jay M
May 17th, 2022

Wooden door, wooden door
I shall enter you evermore
With my feet or with my mind
Your locks are never hard to find
Opened by many keys, over many years
Mine of gleaming crimson red

Past the threshold
And into the depths of my despair
Washing over like a poor wave
Slowly yet ever so surely
Knowing this is the sacred lair
Since I was but a young child
Seven years in this house
Break a mirror, and of course
The misfortune would be gone
Gone after seven years

But is it so,
That the misfortune had anywhere
Anywhere else to go than here?
As I pace these bleak halls
Of blank white and dust
Floor creaking upon uncertain steps
Sounds surely to fall upon
Overly critical ears
Wooden door, wooden door,
I shall pass through you evermore
Many times you’ve been slammed
Other times sheltering the world
From wars of words and hatred
Fear and violence echo here
Echo in the still of the night
In the near silence of their slumber
But I do not sleep, no I don’t dare
I lay awake, night after night
Dreamer am I, shall I always be
Grant me freedom, wooden door
Grant it to me in due time,
Oh wooden door.

- Jay M
May 10th, 2022

Our love was like a rose
It blossomed over time
A beautiful yellow bloom
We took tender care of it
Watered it, checked the soil
Even pruned it when we
Knew it really needed it
But we kept getting cut
On the ever-sharp thorns
Hurting ourselves over and over again
Because our love was greater
Than the ****** scars

But like a rose
I discovered that it had wilted
You tried so hard to care for it
But you didn’t know how
Sometimes it was overwatered
Other times it was left bone dry
When it shook in the wind and cried
You didn’t know what to do
And frankly, neither did I

Day after day,
I cared for it tenderly
Watered it, checked the soil
And even did all of the pruning
Maybe it was far too much
Because you no longer knew how
But you tried anyway, I know
Still, it eventually wilted
And you didn’t even know

It wilted
It dried and became a shell
The thorns protecting what was left
So I gathered the petals with care
Some withered and I cried
But carefully still, I gathered them
The petals of the wilted rose
And put them in a jar of glass
Your name written on the inside
Of its blank white lid
So only I would know
Wilted, our love is wilted
Dried petals in a jar of glass
On a shelf collecting dust
But the memories live on,
Of course they still do
How could they not?
After all, you were
My first true love
My yellow rose.

- Jay M
May 10th, 2022

I'm in love with death
Its warm embrace
Carry my soul away
Leave behind a cold
Lifeless trace
As tears flow
Down my face
Please, my dear,
Dance with me
In this night
Take me away
From this empty
Desolate place
Let me dance
Dance with death

- Jay M
May 6th, 2022

He held her
She held him
Now he only
Holds her memory

- Jay M
April 26th, 2022

When shall we come
To realize that we
Are the masters
Of our own lives?

When will we come to see
All that truly lies before us
The potential at every whim
To learn and to greatly grow
To step forth, to boldly know
Where our greatest curiosities
May turn to lead us?

Grasp the eager thread
Follow it as it winds
As it bends and turns
Follow it all the way down
Down the rabbit hole.

- Jay M
March 14th, 2022

I am
A being of peace
A being of comfort
A being of radiant love
A being of harmony
A being of balance

I am
A being of knowledge
I learn from my darkness
To grow in my inner light
I learn from the darkness
To nurture the light

I see my path
I know my path
All that I need, I attract
All that I shall know
Shall help my soul to grow

I am a being of healing
I radiate comfort and peace
I guide with an innate knowing
I am a being of great wisdom
I share in the lessons of life
I am a being of patience
All things come in time
To arrive as I need
To my call it heed
Aid me everso
On my path
As I grow

- Jay M
March 3rd, 2022

Silky red
Fabric flowing
Gracefully in the breeze
Flirts whispered and said
Hearts melting, hearts growing
Confidence flared, a day of ease

Earrings dangle
Necklaces gentle thump
Some words, they strangle
Whilst in others, hearts pump
Wildly like jackrabbits
Pretty little words and habits

High tapping heels
Arrows to the heart,
Right in the feels
Only a small part
Of what may be
That of which
All shall wait
And eagerly
Wait and
See

Empty arms
Wait for the hour
To hold within them
The beam of desire
To then shower
In deepest love
Amorous affection

- Jay M
February 14th, 2022

Enter the shade of the weary willow
Hidden by her hanging locks
Of thick, leafy green
Sheltered from all

Rest 'neath her branches
Her arms open wide
Calling to stay
Rest here
For this
Day

- Jay M
February 1st, 2022

Ocean blue
Reflect onto me
Shimmering lights
Dancing in their glow
As deep waters flow
Push and pull across
Wave from coast to
Most eager coast

Rosemary blossoms
Beautifully soft, near pastel
Endless inviting tranquility
Calm waters wash over me
As I gaze into their depths
Cool waves over river stones
Gaze calmly returned
Something familiar
Though only once
Were they ever met

- Jay M
February 1st, 2022

Wandering across
The unsure grounds
Dark as I roam the expanse
Only to float without care
Without fear or certainty
Only to fall, wind whistling
Past deafened ears, searching
For words to sing a broken melody
Sinking into an unknown depths
Dimmer and dimmer still it goes
As I fall into the perpetual abyss
Spiraling farther and farther
Down the rabbit hole

Wings of muted grey
Once carried me higher
Now the wind seems to say,
They carry me no more
As I wander door to door
Within the maze of corridors
In the labyrinth that is my mind
Fade deep, fade to onyx black
Protect my soul, fractured heart
What fragments may remain
Scattered across the ground
Found in hallowed crater
After the fall of last
Ashes to ashes and
Dust to mere dust
Perhaps again be
Something more
A queer thought
To then explore
For in this time
And evermore

- Jay M
February 1st, 2022

Laughter and banter
A room full of cheer
Couch full of people
Chair supposedly for one
Until another would come near
Squished into the soft chair cushions
Adjust ever so to make room
Now a chair for two

A movie playing
All too familiar, and so
Calm and content
Embraced in warmth
Comfort surrounds
A frigid little soul
Drawn ever closer
To a source of peace

Sleeping soundly
Against one so kind
Resting in such a place
There is somehow peace of mind

Half awake, sounds come in
Fall mumbling upon small ears
Quietly, he speaks but odd whispers
They ask, but he knows not why
Only that she is as a cat is,
When one rests upon you
No longer shall you move
Remain here, in peace

- Jay M
January 31st, 2022

Times of
Tension and anger
Voices raised, and
Fingers pointed, words thrown
Then so stubborn, all well known
Eventually, come to regret

Gripped tightly,
Battling the cold
The icy chill that surrounds
Fighting through confusion
How could any of this be real?

Years ago, times filled with laughter
Playing dominoes on the kitchen table
Watching cartoons in the living room
Telling stories after lunch of days gone
Only to look back, how bittersweet
Holding every memory as you go

Those good, and those bad
Our last real conversation
A battle of heated words
All true, but even so
I cannot let go
Of a guilty end

So, in your final hours
I call across the space
Across the miles between
To say my final words to you
To apologize, to make amends,
To bring up happy memories
The little things really count
Becoming all that's truly
Truly left at all here
In this ever cold,
Empty place
Grandma
Nora

- Jay M
January 17th, 2022

Full moon she rises
Three nights then fades
Three nights of power

Three sides has she
The one whom dance
Wide awake, deep in trance

Another side of her
The one whom shimmer and shine
Iridescent in her light, song divine

The final side
The one whom call into the night
Horns and breath of fire, in wait of a fight

The sides, they surely wane
Fading from one into the other
Phasing in and out like the sides
Of the pale lit moon

- Jay M
January 10th