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Jay M May 2020
Do any of my words make sense?
Living a life in constant defense
Scared to let the walls break
Scared that all people want is to take
I put pages of my mind on display
See who comes out to play
To tear or to read
This warning I hope they heed;

I’m fragile, despite my walls
I’ve recovered from my falls
All I want is to be myself
Not let that rot, sit on a shelf
Indeed, I can be a little dark
But at least I’ve got a spark
Breaking way to a raging fire
Of care and desire
To live my life
And hope that it be not alone
‘Tis dim on my own

Can’t you see it in my eyes?
The truth, there it lies
Awaiting for a gentle soul
To dive into the rabbit hole
And aid me in climbing out of its depths

Yes, all is well
A well puppeted shell
Internally, all is numb
Emotions down to but a crumb
For reasons unsure
Some thought ‘twas a cure
But all is rather obscure
When all is teetering on the edge
Longing for some kind of knowledge

Then, on occasion
It returns
In an immeasurable quantity
A crack in the stone dam
Then come the surging waters;
Is this who I am?

Feeling nothing for hours
Then suddenly it devours
My very being
As though from blind to seeing
All once more returning
Then greatly yearning
Reminded of patience
Finally, content
For one must be patient
Best not to come riding in
Like a knight upon a horse
Claiming a grand win
Oh, but of course

Is something not missing?
A faint ring,
Ring ringing in the ear
Faintly one does hear;
A calling
Memory of one falling
Caught by none other than the one hearing

A tease
Putting at ease
Hope burning bright as a November fire
Keeping one warm
Fueling a wishful desire
To embrace what chance may provide
Still, one must hide
Behind the bark of a mighty pine
Before approaching that wonder of thine

True, a mortal heart does sing
Key placed in the palms
Of one singing sweet psalms
O, what a sacred thing
The key to a mortal heart
Coveted at the hands of a work of art

Forests visible in those gateways
Where a dazzling soul doth roam
Seemingly floating in its gentle essence
A blessed, pure home
When one is in its presence

Planes the hue of Florida sands
The edges of a vast ocean
Such tender hands
Crafting, weaving words upon parchment
Placed to lure out emotion
A symphony of words
Yet all are lost
When hands meet

A tree has roots, in a mortal’s case ‘tis feet
That travel distances near and far
Look up, make a wish upon a star
As they carry said mortal across the material plane
To greet one so meek
Trembling ever so slight, scarcely able to utter a squeak

Is this truly a mortal
Standing before one so small
Or an angel in disguise?

Voices brought out
Then such is in momentary drought
Like the push and pull of an ocean wave
Words come out in a strangely familiar flux
Until there is a slight disturbance

A time limit is presented
Such a short time remained
A comment made regarding such;
“O, how those that raise us
Shan’t rule us forever.”
Says one

In a surprising and subtle reply,
From the - angel? - ;
“Indeed, I am sure they can’t,”
“And surely shan’t rule me forever.”
Delivering such words with the sweetest expressions
A reassuring smile and the most gentle of eyes
Igniting a brilliantly burning flame of hope

O, how one needed not linger
But linger one had;
Turning between the calling authority and the angel,
Finally turning to the angel
For a sweet moments embrace
Lasting for several heartbeats
Wrapped in the tranquilizing wings of an angel

Slowly slipping away
Uttering a farewell
Yearning to stay
Indeed, bidding adieu was a taste of hell
For the one who fell
For an angel

As the distance grew ever greater between one and the angel
‘Twas as though there was the tugging of a string
One of scarlet red
Bound is the heart and head
Of one so small
And an angel so fair

As one rests a scattered mind
What interesting things dream-walkers would find
The meek one, in a flowing gown of blue
Gently tamed mane of darkest brown hue
Skin of dampened sand
Gateways of rich soil with but a touch of emerald partially buried
Barely noticeable by any whom dare gaze
Into the eyes of one so pitiful

Dancing alone upon the stern of a grand ship
Under the roof of a painted white gazebo
Overlooking the vast sea below
With the sway of a hip
One slowly dancing doth call;

“Angel, o angel of mine,”
“Hear me now, and allow,”
“For my voice to reach those divine ears of thine.”

From the heavens doth enter the angel,
In a suite of raven black and deep ocean blue
Silken hair of earth with ends of gold
Wings unfurled, of purest white snow
In pale moonlight, a heavenly glow

Approaching one so small, one so unworthy of such wonder
In that moment, doubt is cast asunder
The angel taking the hands of one so small,
Whispering into an ear;

“‘Twas for me you did fall,”
“Just as ‘tis you I fell for,”
“Down from the heavens,”
“For not heaven,”
“Nor the Earth, nor hell,”
“Could ever keep us apart.”

Spun about like a ribbon in the hands of a dancer
A question with the perfect answer
Then taken back, mane just brushing the wood below
Gazing up into the gateways of the most heavenly fellow
Before being given heaven’s kiss
Delicate lips of an angel
Meet those of a human
Truly, could this
Not be a moment most blessed?

Arising to meet once more with entrancing eyes
To dance in the nights bliss
Fading gently into darkness
Then returning into the waking world
What a vision ‘twas..

Rising in the pale light morning brings
Wearing tokens of an angels affection
A warmth fills the heart
As ‘tis time to start
Such a peaceful day
To explore all it could be
Wishing to spend it with thee

Venturing through a valley of words
Searching for those best to utter
To whisper to an angel
As ones words are none compared
To those smooth as butter
Parting from the lips of the angel
In the start having repaired
A once damaged heart
Now pulsing, beating for the healer

Hoping, yearning to see the angel once more
Attempting to craft a plan
A day, not near yet not too far
This wonder is of lore

Perhaps 5 weeks after the last
The day remaining the same as the one past
If such is possible, of which one pleas it be
Let one catch a moment with thee
One day, as the angel did once say
Maybe things shall be okay
Open the curtains, shine a little light
Then, hopefully together, take flight
Into a world of their design.

- Jay M
May 13th, 2020
For the angel I fell in love with, who never ceases to surprise me.

I started writing this as a poem about how my emotional state has been as of late, then it just...well, it got better and blossomed into a poem about the love of my life.
  May 2020 Jay M
Erian Rose
I was born a poet
forever-be
before I realized
I was sneaking behind
plastered brick walls
at recess bells
transforming the world
into words
spilling ink pens dry
I was born a poet
I embraced beauty,
enfolded magic,
encased the man on the moon,
tracing bare sentences
amidst pure wonder
until their final moments
till they cried
the truths of neverland
upon the immense star clusters
I am a poet
Jay M May 2020
Better together than apart
Close as two people could be
Their love a beautiful melody
A true work of art

Seeing one another once in a week
Occasionally more
A call and a knock on the door
Embrace, then away
To talk and to stay
For a meal
Impossible to believe such could be real

Then suddenly
A silence fills the air
No more words of tender care
Then words like a viper
Hitting the heart like a ******
Not from the lover
'Twas from another
Putting a stop to their days
Cunning in so many ways

Forbidden, what more could be done?
The Discord had won
In separation, yes
In full, no
Love cannot be so easily smothered

Technology is funny
So don't call them honey
When they find a way
To work through and around
The rules they thought would stay
Firm as the ground

Loopholes and favors
Strings pulled and hope strong
On the way, playing a song
Listen to your heart
And bring back that work of art

There, nervous and hopeful
Giddy yet petrified
Then, calm in an instant
Being so careful
But there's no need for caution
Realizing all is well
In this moment, no longer a living hell

Meeting and conversing
The others would be cursing
But there, in that cool night breeze
It put them in a somewhat ease

Laughter, memories so fond
Keep safe the hidden bond
Thrive, even though it is forbidden

Communication shall remain secret
From those who do not approve
They shall never forget
To the others, they shall prove
That they are truly meant to be

Start slow,
Remain so
Until the timing is right
Since time is tight
And all is rather tricky
Situation rather sticky
But survive it shall
This forbidden love.

- Jay M
May 11th, 2020
Modern day forbidden love.

*Part of my Creative Writing Portfolio.
Jay M May 2020
Seated alone in a church pew
Hushed voices all around
Don't let him hear you;
"Unfortunate"

They say his mother passed
All of his luck has run dry
They say he's the last
Can't you see him cry?

They say he lives alone
Barely old enough
A shabby place to call home
The young man has it quite rough

They say he sits there
Alone in the church pew
Praying for a better life, if an angel will hear
Then he goes, writes for the few
Who will pay him a penny for his thoughts

Can't you see him in the street?
Watch his feet
Slow stride
He's got nothing left to hide
Don't let him hear you say;
"Unfortunate"

They say he wears his father's old clothes
He was the first to go
Down in the ground
Have pity, have pity
Don't let him hear you say;
"Unfortunate"

They say-

"I can hear you!"
He cries, so suddenly,
"And let me tell you what is true,"
"For none of you know me,"
"Or my story, so let me tell it,"
"Not the unfortunate likes of you,"
"With nothing better to do than whisper of my life."

- Jay M
May 7th, 2020
People whispering about someone they've never spoken to, gossiping about someone's life that they never knew about. Don't assume you know someone based on their looks and mannerisms.

*Part of my creative writing portfolio.
Jay M May 2020
How can this be
"Happy birthday" to me
When anxiety and fear
Has been so near
And now finally upon me?

It feels as though there is something to flee
But what, I know not
Possibly just a passing thought
That this day was so ominous
The potential for darkness
But all that lingers is confusion
Were my anxieties but an illusion?

Wishes to me from those around
But I can only hear one sound
A heartbeat
Then the patter of feet
Upon the hardwood floor
A knocking at the door
"Happy birthday to you!"
Everywhere I turn
But it's anything but-

It feels as though I'm being suffocated
Drowned out and forced down
Into a seat
In front of a small burning heat
Just to listen to them sing
While I sweat a ring
Then extinguish it
Have a bit
Of the sweet below it

Smile for the camera
Watch them as they smother you
Tell you what to say and do
Some say the
Best things come in time
Say a little rhyme
Until the day comes to an end.

- Jay M
May 7th, 2020
I don't know why, but I've been fearing this day since Monday. It just felt so...ominous. Now that it's upon me, I don't know what to do. All I want is a peaceful day, maybe talk to some friends over the phone, and go for a nice walk.
Jay M May 2020
Assignment after assignment
10, no 12, for math
2 lessons for English
2 movies and a sheet of questions for each for journalism
1 weekly question and 1 lesson for biology
A lesson and questions about textbook pages for Spanish
A workout log for P.E.
1 nonfiction piece and 10-15 poems for creative writing

All due when?
By the end of the week for math
By the end of the week for English
By the end of the week for journalism
By the end of the week for biology
By the end of the week for Spanish
By yesterday for the nonfiction piece for Creative Writing
And who knows when for those poems for Creative writing

Get the grades up
Get the grades up
No matter what the cost
No matter what the pain
And get the chores done
At least 4 a day
Write down everything you do along the line
Timecards, what's next?

Shower, time it just right
Work around the other people
Don't mess around

Waste away
Obey
Get the grades up
Get the grades up
No matter what
Don't be dreamy and strut
Smack you to the ground
Get down from the clouds
Back to reality

Straight As only
Nothing less
Everything more
Or who knows what's going out the door
Maybe something you love
Maybe your sanity

Get the grades up
Keep your head up
Don't slip up
Keep your head up
Smile on, smiles on!

Don't argue, they always win
It creeps beneath your skin
Make it stay there
Bite your tongue
Until it bleeds
No matter what the cost
Remember?

It's all in your head, of course,
Besides the grades,
THOSE ARE REAL
There's no making a deal
Get the grades up
Get the grades up
Straight As and nothing less
Nothing left either, until you're a horrid mess
Just Scattered.

- Jay M
May 6th, 2020
The pressure is on, and I'm stressing out.
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