There once was a happy girl
But this happy girl disappeared around 13
When I slowly realized
That when people were laughing,
I was being laughed at and not laughed with
That I was not good enough
And that I was only going to be a joke
Boys constantly reminding me that my body
My body would never be good enough for them
And shouldn't be good enough for myself
I finally found a boy that accepted me
Only to find out that, because I hated myself
He believed that I would be an easy ****
He left bruises behind
But the bruises weren't on my skin,
Instead, left on my brain
Someone can touch me the wrong way now
Where I feel all of the emotions
Hand on my knee, hand on my thigh,
Hand on my waist, hand on my stomach
And I can instantly go blank
Like a soulless doll
*** I walk down the street
I get terrified if I see someone staring
Or just looking at me odd
I feel like I am walking around
With a target strung around my neck,
Being pulled tighter on my throat
I feel like I am being suffocated
By my own fear
I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship and after finally escaping, I wrote this.