as she wept
bones became
songs.

I’ve got those pants which used to hug my legs very tightly, some time ago
They were warm and comfortable and they’d snuggle up to each other

But today exact these same pants refused to recognize my legs
They started to let go of them

They observe them now, from a distance, and give them a strange look
They’re scared to touch my legs

They’re scared of those cold and sharp bones
Scared of the blue skin and of my fine hair on them

Bones cold and sharp, which used to be my legs, have become crutches
But they work
Bones, cold and sharp, which might snap in half with every movement
But still they’re whole

And like ghosts, invisible, I walk with those crutches through the hallway
Cross the streets of my hometown
And go for a run every now and then
I get past windows that show no reflection
Past people who look at me in disgust

And when I’m home, the pants slip off by themselves
So that I stand here, naked and barefoot and exposed without any cloth
Only to lift those cold and sharp bones one more time
To make a step forward
Onto a scale which will measure my self-worth in kilograms and make my bony knees wobbly again
Because suddenly, the pants fit again, suffocating my legs with their tightness.

It hit me like a 220 pound wave, that swept over and engulfed me. It consumed me but, comforted me. I was unaware of what I felt, what I was supposed to feel and what I was made to feel. The wave I could not face, the wave that made my tongue and bones freeze, the wave that stiffened my muscles, the wave that stocked my lungs with thick healthy mud, there was no room to inhale my happiness and exhale my dejection.
My bones cracked like a startled iceberg, as I was struck and brought back to reality by a ship- another soul brought me back, back to reality, back to the world of changing faces. I froze in the same ocean I was born in. In the shifting realities of the world I felt like a deserted infant sitting still on the shore of a fierce and vicious ocean, commanding it's waves to attack. So it hit me again, again and again like a 220 pound wave, that swept over and engulfed me. Then again, It consumed me but, comforted me. I can always say, that the sea is at war, and we are the waves that sway, that give movement, and give life to the still world.  

- Kaya

There is a silent howling in my bones.
They shake and tremble from it's humming tones.
I slip slowly to my hollow knees.
For instead of marrow they're filled with airy screams.
I am now too weak to stand on two feet.
Oh, how all your callous words have emptied me!

There is a cold and constant rain that leaks through my bones
Holding me together, more life giving than my mediocre blood
And weakly beating heart.
My frame is creaking despite its young age, worn down and
Falling apart from the inside out.

May the ground hold my bones better than I ever did.

(20 minute poetry)

What passeth beyond my understanding
is why I keep falling and
failing
yet landing
on my feet.

I ache as I arch my back one more time
under the yoke
back down the mine and
mine is
the cold face of a coal face.

I read,
bacteria breed
and life goes on

welcome to Monday
my name is
John.