Moon writer
Moon rider
Window; windows
26 windows
26 widows
Blind
Bold
Boiled
Wandering in wonder
Wondering in wander
West
East
26 days
Wiser
Wizarding whistles
Melting hums
Sweltering breaths
Blustering bustling
Bridging
Hand in hand
Hand over hand
The 25th letter is 'Y'

Fever drives burning rubber and sweating coolant. I never thought this would be me; Living like a willow weeping stalagmite that drips in a cave, gutted of its most precious treasures. Volcanic emissions eat their way up my esophagus, acid refluxing, reflecting the queasiness vigorously sloshing in my abdomen. A motel's vacancy sign glows behind the round masses that sit within the bony sockets of my skull. Void of thought and reason, the cavernous hole that appears to swallow, swallowing my words, swallowing my tongue, swallowing my teeth one by one; Chiclets, sliding down into molten rock. Crumbling pieces of hope plunge, deteriorating, integrating with the earth, six feet down, bodies buried in boxes, confining cells of solitary. Laid out like a game of memory, time passes, and no one remembers who lays where.

Every day I remind myself that I'm allowed to exist.

And I am not ungrateful
But what lingers
Quakes
A stutter deep in the core
A shake emanating
Under the sternum
A question quavers
It starts slow and easy
A low hum in the caverns
Maybe just a light echoing drop
It's meandering
But building, forming, structuring
Rumbling
Rearing
Blistering
A culminating crescendo,
Cresting, climaxing.
Bursting from the depths
Punch. Puncture. Punctuate.
Three letters no vowels.
—Why?

Concave
in the early morning
sun streaking rays
over
empty hearts
empty stomachs
empty bones
and I listen

lawn mower mumbles
motor groans
faint siren yelps

        what is fullness

a dog stretching long
yawn
withering
breaks and aches
brown sheets
black dog
purple walls

years have been spent
learning how to suffer gracefully
with cliched humor
bleeding sarcasm
and a mouth full of synthetic words

and we all suffer
distressed
I see anger bandaging wounds
sadness assessing damages
grief losing hope

        helplessly watching

ignore me
it's easy.

young hearts are reckless
a car crash
broken glass
glittering and stunning
can’t help but
reach out
and touch it
still startled when it cuts
blood bubbles to the surface
like hot springs

please unsubscribe
unfollow
hollow
how low

late nights
patterned sleeplessness
hot air
cold thoughts
sweat glistening

        Sleeplessness

train sounds off
quick secessions
and the breathing is off
Rhythm
I am a word that has no vowels
but a 'Y' is what it needs to be when it needs to be it.

        Stutter.

I want less hollow nights
And a loneliness that dissipates
I want the moon to shine from my chest
A glow that pulses with the rhythm of my heartbeat and accentuates the craters from every asteroid that'***** the surface.
I want stars in my eyes when I look at you.
I want love in my moon heart when I hug you ... hold you.  
I want time to be blissful and inaccurate. A mess of seconds, minutes and hours sped up and slowed down no longer indicating or defining any one experience.
And in the mess, I want to ponder that loss of structure with you.  
I want to feel whole and complete
In my brain and body
I want hope and unconditional respect for my genderless siblings and their conflicts.
I want patience for my own weaknesses
And forgiveness for my failures.
I want the strength to wake up
The courage to feed myself
And the confidence to keep moving
Living.
Reliving, reflecting
Prospecting, believing
Time ticks forward and backward, up and down.
I want calmness and leniency for my emotional process
Gentle touch from my friends and lovers
I want healing and self-love.
I want to sleep next to you
To learn to trust
To feel
To connect frayed threads from split ends of past wounds
Reconnecting emotions that only spark and never light
A gas stove that poisons the air awaiting ignition.
I've spent my spoons on people who have only learned to take.
I want to never forget how to give
Even to those who don't deserve it.
I want to forgive those who have hurt me and rejected me.
And I want to forgive myself for those I have hurt and rejected.
I want to find closure for pain that numbly aches in my cratered moon heart.
I want to make plans for the future
With hope in my mouth
As words tumble out
I want to see the sun rise and set in all its cliched glory.
I want to feel satisfied by simplicity
And welcome difficulty with determination emanating from my pores.
I want to be humbled by all the things I will never know and accepting of never knowing.
I want to sit with my sadness and console it with thoughtful kindness. I want to find the energy to walk through the fires of depression with strength and understanding.
I want to believe in my worth and that I am worthy.
I am worthy.
I want to surround myself with those who make me feel wanted and cared for.
Loved and understood.
I want to help others feel their worth and have patience with their process of understanding their own worth.
I want to be present for those I love.
And make sacrifices to maintain my own self-care.
I want to look at my craters
Truly see them
Even the deepest darkest ones
Accepting and acknowledging their presence and recognizing the change they have created in me, positively or negatively.
I want to breathe life into the air
And stay alive for another thirty years and another thirty after that.
I want to see the value in my life.
I want to live openly and thoughtfully.
Holding myself as well as others
Softly guiding ones who are lost through their sorrows
And accepting that some do not desire guidance nor are they in place to accept it.
I want to permeate positivity.
And not underestimate negativity.
I want to accept the light of the sun
Shining bright on my full moon heart
Bearing witness to all that there is and appreciating the wonder and beauty of the universe in all its vastness.

At what speed would you have to travel to follow the sunset around the earth?
Watching an atmospheric color blaze wrapping its warm blanket arms around the globe infinitely
A spectrum of all the days endings
Pending
Spending
How long would you, could you follow it?
A day
A few days
A few weeks
A decade?
In the empty silent moments
Would you think of who to spend it with
That epic looping vibration of color
Dead-ending.
What would you give up to follow the sunset around the earth?
Who would you follow?