I can imagine these moments so well
They make me happy
But they also make me really sad
I can imagine them
I am just afraid
I will never
Ever
Live these moments

I want to write my emotions down in this poem,
But if I put my emotions into words
The screen would burst into flames
And I would burst into tears

I'm just so broken right now, and I just want to be happy. Why can't I just be happy

We danced toward
each other's wounds

with gentle step
and touched inside

and now the bleeding
has resumed

and all this blood
is hard to hide.

Ravaging through me
    is an untold destiny
I cannot foresee
      what's gonna happen
But I know what I need
       I need love
It keeps escaping me
            I'm lonely
   I cry constantly
I can't write anything
        Cause I can feel my soul breaking
    I've lost everything
      my heart keeps breaking
I really don't want any pity
   I'm truly not deserving
but my God does this hurt like hell
      I'd just like for one good thing
to happen to me
        SOMETHING
ANYTHING
cause I can't handle losing
    One more thing
   everything I care about
has been stolen from me
     a string of bad luck
Doesn't even begin to describe
   the agony that surrounds me
I'm desperate for something
      GOOD.... PLEASE
I'm asking Fate
    the Universe
Karma
        God
Mother Nature
     Anyone Please
Whoever is making my life filled
      with misery
I'm begging you
          PLEASE
   I can't handle anymore
You've officially brought me
       to my knees
I've cast my pride aside
        all dignity has left
I'm BEGGING
      PLEADING
        Please
Just finally let me be happy



I think I've forgotten
     what happiness feels like

People are metal
We color ourselves silver
Or gold or copper
We conduct electricity
And have the strength to do anything
We are resilient enough
To be burnt and twisted
And live on
Fighting against the rust

People are glass
Fragile and breakable
We open ourselves up
Let others shine through us
Seeing our true self
That is a rare gift
A beauty taking more courage
Than any could imagine
And when we have such courage
The irony is that we can be shattered
By a simple fall
From between tiny fingers

People are wood
We bear life
And green leaves
But cut us down with
A sharp bladed axe
We burn easy
But it's impossible
To rid our mark
That we leave
Smeared in black ashes

People are rubber
Bending to the will of others
This and that
Always bent out of shape
Springing to our flattened
Normal selves when no one
Else is watching
Striving, stretching to beauty,
Beauty impossible to achieve
When all the eyes are on us

People are like paper
They crumple and rip and tear
And no matter how much
You straighten it out
The crease is always there
They can be bent folded and broken
Destroyed beyond repair
Damaged from water stains and more
From animals beware
One sheet alone is strong and weak
It can do a lot
But wrap a thousand more nearby
And suddenly they are unstoppable
Able to hold 300 pounds
Or more

I'm sorry
For all the pain I caused
The misery and hurt
And I know that you will
Try to protect me
To say it wasn't my fault
But I know at least
One time had to have been me

I'm sorry
I made you cry
That I ever said anything to
Bring tears to your beautiful eyes
I'm glad that I can trust you
And tell you anything in mind
But I wish that I could protect you
That I could shield you from all
The horror of our world
It's not that your too innocent
Or that I think your too weak
To handle our world
It's that I love you too much
And I don't want you to have to
Say your fine
I want you to mean it.

I'm sorry
I ever kept anything from you
That I ever hid a secret
You are so incredibly strong
And too loyal for your own good
I new that you could bear my burden
But I didn't want to see you try

But don't get me wrong
Don't mix sorry with regrets
I don't regret the pain
And I don't regret the hurt
I wish it didn't have to be this way
But I wouldn't change a thing
Because if I took the pain away
You wouldn't be the you you are today
And I wouldn't be the me

So thank you for always being there
To beat the burdens, share the weight
For trying to protect me
The way I wish I could protect you
And thank you for forgiving me
For always being my rock
And standing by my side
No matter how many times I messed up.

Part of me
                                    Feels empty
A hollow shell
                                    Non-existent
The other part
                                    Bubbles with anxiety
A tightness
                                    I can't lose

They are not mixed together

But they are also not pushing each other away

They are just coexisting

Something that shouldn't happen

That couldn't happen

So why is it happening now

?