i
  don't
    bother
      explaining
         myself
        to
      you
    because
   i
could
   definitely
     live
      without
        you












                          ­     maybe

The moon can’t cure my illness
if I abduct all of her stars.

I fill my veins up with light
only to control the despair,
but I am left with a vacant sky.

Minutes tremble before me,
seconds fall at my feet;
I have no time left.

The delight of reaching rock bottom
without the impact.
Let me rest.

Fill me up to the brink with hope
and leave me for dead.
Leave me in secret.

Confessions of a former drug addict

I was an alcoholic
Did drugs into the night
I started at 11
Did anything in sight
'Til my brain was addled
I wasn't very bright
Soul sickness was my problem
Did not know wrong from right
But Jesus healed my spirit
I finally saw the light

I started as a bartender
For my family do's
I catered to their parties
And I began to use
I served up martinis
They could not refuse
Made 'em good and strong
Began with one or two
Soon I became drunk
And started to abuse

Then I did white crosses
Marijuana trees
I did angel dust
Also known as ***
No ******* or ******
But I did LSD
Discovered yellow jackets
And drank peyote tea
I couldn't ever get enough
And that was all for me
At 14 years old
It was catastrophe
Then I found religion
Known as Scientology
It was total *******
But I finally broke free!

I went for years not drinking
Had no acid trips
I loved a natural high
And no drug passed my lips
But life has twists and turns
Much pain and great hardship
I had to run away
Just took a couple sips
Embarked upon a journey
On substance abuse ships

I finally found the needle
******. *******.
I preferred the uppers
Manic highs obtained
I found I could not get away
And so my soul was stained

Then I started smoking it
I liked that best of all
It was like the peak of bliss
That high I still recall
But with every High
There's always a hard fall

I tried Scientology
The SRF and more
But my soul was very sick
Rotten to the core
I was finally Shipwrecked
On a hostile shore
I tried AA and Rehab
But they could not restore
Beaten down to nothing
I was finally floored

Then I met my Jesus
And I was so inclined
To go to church 3 times a week
And the Spirit shined
Gave water to my thirsty soul
My very bones aligned
He restored my body
And He restored my mind
When I finally broke free
Of the religious grind
No matter how the roads will turn
How they wend and wind
I have seen the valley
Mountains I have climbed
Now I know within my soul
His Mercy I will find

And so Jesus saved me
It happened overnight
I woke up a different person
With the strength to fight
I have new eyes to see now
He's restored my sight
No longer in deep Darkness

I have seen the light!*


SoulSurvivor
(C) 9/3/2016

Under the winter fog
A beautiful waterfront
And a few waterfowl

I tried to be the best I could
It wasn't enough for you.
I lied to myself thinking you would
It wasn't enough for you
I tried to bring you a sense of adventure
It wasn't enough for you
I cried cause it stings to lose you forever
I wasn't enough for you
I tried to awaken my sleeping romantic
It wasn't enough for you
I tied him down when he became a fanatic
It wasn't enough for you

I tried to be a light hearted friend
Yet in the end it was your own feelings that,
Pouring like honey liquor down the back of my stem,
Grew this black flower, now rotting within.

You claim to not be ready to love
You were never enough for me
Your lame justice excuses all the above
You were never enough for me
You claim that you know what I want
You were never enough for me
Your brain never received my thoughts
You were never enough for me
You claim to have been hurt in the past
You were never enough for me
Your history bled into our caste
You were never enough for me

You claim to see it in my eyes, that
There's tears streaming between your thighs,
And though my aim was clear, your fear remains
To no avail, my words fall towards hell's domain.