You can tell a lot about a person
by the way they leave you
so let me tell you about all
the ways in which he left me.

He left me in my room
he left me on Friday nights
he left me by the lake
he left me in April and again in December
he left me on the sidewalk
he left me in texts
he left me in a different time zone
he left me in thoughts unsaid
he left me for the summer and for his hometown
he left me for her, twice
he left me on the kitchen floor
he left me in ticking clocks and calendar dates

He collected leaving like it lead to a high horse
because if you’re doing the leaving
you can’t be the one that’s left and
it taught me how not to leave people
and not to let people back after they’ve
left because they will do it again.

I lived in waiting for him because it was better
than wondering when or
how he’d leave me again
Is this the last time?

He left me outside
of myself and forced
me to reach in and find
all that's left.

I'd love to point you out
In the constellation of a crowd
As someone I used to know
A lover of long ago
And nothing more

Yet you were the biggest star
The sun at least
So how would I forget you

Our sleeping thoughts reflect
our awakened minds.
The madness we hide from
Rolls like a cinema reel
behind resting eyes.
A movie of our lives
In distorted forms.

26 Dec. 2015

I feel like I'm going crazy.
I feel extremely lonely
My mood goes from up to down
I'm pushing the one person I care about most away
I'm looking for happiness in the wrong people
I cry easily
I can't focus on my homework
I want to be alone but being alone hurts
I can't stop being the person I used to be
And I feel like I'm going crazy.