I want to be wanted.
I want to be worth wanting.
To be desired, sought after, prized.
I want to be protected.
Not shielded, but jealously kept.
Not abused either... Just held.

I want someone to love me.

It is the season for heartbreak
When youll cry yourself a river
And drown yourself in the lake

You will find serpents dressed in diamonds
Taught to trick and break you
Break your heart into right into two

Falling into temptation is common for humans
You fall knowing that there is a chance you will crash
But then blame the other person for being rash

Humans are fools destined for destruction
Hurting each other like it was an instruction

No antidote can cure the pain inside
No person can tame that emotion
For that demon is wild

Pain is mental suffering or distress
It was that emotion you felt when your head was pressed on my chest

You cover the cuts with your bracelets
Numbing the emotional pain with physical pain
But at the end of the day there will be nothing you will gain

Give me your pain , let me take it away
Ill keep the demons out for as long as youll stay

It is the season of heartbreak
The revealment of all the beings that were fake

Take my hand and I will keep you sane
I will rid you of the pain

-T

No.1 I have a fear of heights and I'm okay with that because I fall for you every day which keeps me close enough to the ground that I feel safe.

No.2 The dark. I do not like the inability to see, imagine being trapped in a space with no light, nothing to reach for but just a void of emptiness. You cannot find a place much darker than a blackened, hallowed heart. There are no signs of life, with no trace of light. Yet you still managed to find your way around it, walking aimlessly as if you knew where to go. I was afraid of the darkness within, until you lit a flame inside Of me, trying to send a signal fire to my sanity.

No.3 spiders, nothing poetic I just think they are creepy. Eight legs of hell and they have no need on my life!

No.4 I imagine being on an island stranded alone knowing no-one could find me, while I sit there huddle next to a tree with no reason to move forward. I feel a warm touch press on my shoulder. I open my eyes, everything seems different the white scattered sand is now my bed. waves which held me back from moving forward, now my blanket which seems to feel heavier than a tsunami of depression and deep thoughts. I lay there stuck being buried by the sand and drown by waves. Being held down by my past and worries of my future. two hands lifted all the weight off me, I looked up and there she was, she grabbed me by the...

No.5 my heart is beating faster and faster as I run an endless marathon. My palms get sweaty, it gets harder to breathe as if I was trapped in space with no air tank. I try to push through I will not let myself drop out of this one so early. I have a fear to love, not of love but to love. I want to find it but I'm too afraid of letting myself become vulnerable as if I'm joining a war with no gun just my heart hoping not to get shot down but be accepted with open arms. I have scars and battle wounds from past wars. But for no reason, you lent a hand to patch me up. You showed me not all wars are worth fighting Alone, so we joined hands and walked strong. I am afraid to love, I am not afraid to say I love. I am afraid to say I love anyone who isn't you.

Im drowing in my own tears
Needing a helping hand
Needing saving from my own fears

Troubled by my demons I crawl into a ball
I scream out for help
But my voice is blocked out by a wall

My lungs begin to burn from the lack of air
My heart begins to ache from the lack of care

Tears gushing out of me like a waterfall
I begin to ******* own ending
My soul is detaching from my body and is descending

I will meet my tormentor
Look it in the eyes and ask it why it tormented me my whole life
Why it kept me from having kids and a wife

My life was never my own
I was a loner walking amongs demons
Without a place to call home

Reflecting on life in the after life
Seeing myself crying on my bed at night.
I was such a lonely boy who told everyone he was alright

It grabbed my hand and took me to me demise
I would be punished
Burnt with a fire fueld by all the lies

I could feel my skin being eaten away by the flames.
A memory comes to me.
I remember a sweet childhood full of candy and games

I was an innocent infant
Till it found me and consumed me
It was always in me and never let me be

I felt empty yes, but it was drinking from my soul
It was the reason why I felt so empty
It was the reason why I was never happy

I resented my life ever since it found me
I was broken and couldnt be helped
Now I stand in a fire about to melt

The pain seems familiar
Feels like home.

Screaming wouldnt help
Im lost now. With no way of coming back
At least my name would go up on a plaque

I made a difference in a few
I imprinted on the ones who mattered the most
They used me and overdosed

Made me feel even more empty than I already was
How could a being be so deceitful?
So cruel and so evil ?

Is that how you were made ?
Or was it part of the game you played ?

The game of heartbreak and tears
Fake people and smoke and mirrors

I lost that game a long time ago
I came back to reality
And the fire had  burnt me from head to toe

How was I still alive ?

Then I see the burnt flesh peel away
The fire eats my skin away again
Im beginning to go insane

It was my sentance
To burn in the fire forever
But in some way to me it brought pleasure

I was used to the pain
So as the torture repeated again and again
My face just remained plain

I was numb
And I looked up to earth
Looked all the way back to my birth

Maybe if I was born in a different time I would have turned out differently
It wouldnt have found me
I would have been a shut door without a key

Safe from the voices
I would have felt true happiness
My life wouldnt have been a mess

But it was inevitable for the ones I loved to hurt me
I watched them move on, find joy in someone else
To me it never made sense

Was I that bad of a person
I loved all. Cared for all. Sacrificed so much
But actually I destroyed everything by just a touch

Everything I loved , touched , encountered turned to dust
I never brought anyone happiness, just pain
I was a cloud full of it and showered it over everyone like rain

I was chasing love but ended up running away from the pain that came with it
Was love just abstract
I was never going to find it and that was a fact

I was always being played with
I was lied to and shown fake love
Love was just a myth

Or it was just not for me
At least thats what I thought

Until I met her.

A sublime beauty.
I was lovestruck .
And she had my heart .

She had her way with words
She had me wrapped around her fingers
She knew that I was forever going to be hers

I was addicted to her
She kept the pain away
I knew if I wanted to survive I had to make her stay

I wasnt going to let her go
She brought a new feeling
I didnt know I would fall so hard for a human being

Was it fait
Because it felt like she came into my life too late

I was a messed person with no future
But she overlooked all of that at loved me

The voices were still there but they were fading away
It wasnt tormenting as much anymore
Slowly it will close my door

And the key will  be thrown away
Ill be left alone, with her.

-T