If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

There's a spark in your eyes that makes me jealous...

Even hope doesn't shimmer that bright.

...

look in to my eyes.

down, down, down it goes.
this abyss of nothing whole.

galaxies made of broken pieces of me.
hollowed voices drift from every chasm of a fractured soul.

this darkness is greedy.

so close your eyes, and pull yourself away.

before

these hollowed voices beguile you,

before

galaxies transfix your gaze and siphon your light.

so close your eyes, and pull yourself away.

Because there's a glint in my eye, that's beginning to make you jealous.

Maybe I knew the day would come
Maybe I didn't know
Maybe I didn't want to think about it
Because that would be accepting the reality
And reality is pathetic
And reality hurts
And I don't want pain
I feel enough of that
So instead I enjoy illusions
And fantasies
Or maybe they're just called lies
The lie that you really care
The lie that you're going to get better
The lie that you want help
The lie that you would never leave
The lie that you loved me
That's what you said
But in the end
The truth is always revealed

i sat in a corner,
eyes darting to the
cracks on the ceiling—

then to her: huddled
in solitude, snow falling
around her neck

snow falling inside my mind.

Like an old friend inviting you to come inside.
Familiar. Comforting.
It will grasp you in its arms and hold you close;
And when you're ready to leave, it wont let you go.
You will beg and plead to be happy,
and it will put up a fight.
It will make you think that the only way to escape it is to take your own life.
If you are lucky, you can break free;
and it will sit and watch you from afar.
Calling your name.
Welcoming you back into it's arms.
It will intrude your thoughts.
Make you think you are worthless.
That you're better off dead.
Just keep telling yourself that it's all in your head.
Keep moving. You will get far.
Depression is not who you are.