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3.0k · Jan 2016
INFJ
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
I see you.
Hiding behind your flesh
Raw and red and utterly human
Hidden
Afraid
I am hidden too.
Looking through glass windows
Reaching out to touch cold panes
And never reaching past them
Because to do so I would have to break them
Reveal so much
Reveal pain
Or maybe beauty
But who can say?
Mixed together in my conflicting, confusing mind
Pain and beauty and lover and passion and anger
In soundproof walls
Would it be too much?
Silence broken, revealing the truth
My truth
I see your truth, partially
But what does it feel like?
Mine is fast and unrelenting. Warm and cold.
Loving,
But lonely.
Will anyone ever know the worlds I create?
The lives
The hearts
The stories
And will I ever know yours?
Because I am stuck inside cold Windows
And though I love it,
I love the sun too.
1.1k · Mar 2016
My Fairy
Sunflower Girl Mar 2016
Every* place you look becomes bright
Shade and color enveloped in your soul
Of light, of dark, of chaotic serenity
You irrefutably remain
Is there anything more
*Beautiful
1.0k · Jan 2016
I Think Therefore
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
These are not words
But an extrication of soul
An intrinsic resistance to extrinsic chaos
Or maybe intrinsic after all
What are words
Synapse to synapse
I am me
I am
I
985 · Dec 2016
Lost in Translation
Sunflower Girl Dec 2016
I put my earbuds in and sting my open wounds with stories
I wander through the library, mausoleum of time
Oldness, dust, that faint smell with no name
I open a book in Danish, squiggles and dots
This must be what a child feels like before they can read

My soul is leaking out of my sides, I clasp them tight
As I attempt to imprison my wandering soul, it slips out my mouth
Into these ancient creations of another
I must read to find it
I must find it

It weathers storms on a glassy sea
It wanders in darkness and burns in the light
It jumps off the precipice of possibility
It was screaming and I forgot to listen
I just put in my earbuds and stung in with stories
Until it became one

*Oh my soul I must honor thee, in black and white you illusive remain.
Constantly moving but staying the same.
Freedom you found, freedom these pages contain.
But I am not with thee in flesh I remain.
Sorting through words for which I have no name
Lost in the translation that made the mundane
I don't understand these books, I don't understand other people, but I am lost in translation too so what does it matter?
888 · Feb 2019
the reason
Sunflower Girl Feb 2019
i
   write
            because
                        my
                             thoughts
                                           won’t
                                                   stop
                                                         talking
800 · Mar 2016
The Pen
Sunflower Girl Mar 2016
I dance across the paper
Flat and smooth
Foreign movements to all but me
And her

I know her
Better than anyone else
She trusts every secret thought
To me

Yesterday I fluttered across the page
In spirals, over and over
Beside numbers and notes
And lists

Today she wrote for hours
And salty drops
Spread my ink
Everywhere

The more she trusts me
The more I fade
I fear I will soon be
Nothing

And she will leave me
The one she trusted
With foreign movements and secret thoughts and salty drops
All alone
739 · Mar 2019
equation
Sunflower Girl Mar 2019
when i was born
my mother said
it felt as if a new mathematical state had come into being
       new creature.
              new possibilities
              
when my grandfather died
my mother said
it felt the same- as she sat in that old room, his spirit slipping into a new form
       old creature
              new possibilities
647 · Feb 2017
Identity
Sunflower Girl Feb 2017
Am I breathing right?
Blinding beautiful world
Innovate and cultivate and consecrate
Glimmer of grace
Ameliorate the earth
Impossible soul
Light, follow the glow Sunflower Girl
636 · Jan 2017
Birthday No. 19
Sunflower Girl Jan 2017
Starlight, citylight, blend into one
Our voices drowned out by music
The windshield fogged by our breath

Another year passes by me
Numbers adding, songs sung
"Friends" canceling plans
They feigned happy birthdays
But you actually stayed.

Rubber on the road
Our laugher frozen in the 19 degree air
Our faces yellow, red, green at the stoplight
You drove until I forgot where we started

Stealing bites of icecream
Dancing queens, we shook our hair
Completely free
Starlight, citylight
Our feet untied from the earth

My dear friend,
You reminded me
I AM WORTHY OF LOVE
631 · Aug 2016
For You, Enlightener
Sunflower Girl Aug 2016
I was a child
Precocious and arrogant
Lost in the light
But you found me

I was ambitious
But lazy and proud
You took my hands
And taught me

You taught me
That there is so much more
To learning
Than knowing

With every class
I saw that my mind
Needed my hands
To succeed

I was a child
But you took me as more
And under your light
I grew

Because of you
I am more
Than a curious mind
And a wandering heart

Because of you
I am more
Than an arrogant child
And a clever girl

Because of you
I found my impossible soul
Had more to work with
Than impossibilities

And though I waited
To tell you these things
I hope you can hear them
My Enlightener.

Please rest in glory
625 · Jan 2017
wRItiNg FReNZy
Sunflower Girl Jan 2017
There
Is
No
Way
Words
Will
Cease
Soon

I am drowning in thoughts screaming to be expressed by painfully limited language

I dance around the truth, communication lacking accuracy

I
Cannot
Be
Understood
Even
By
Myself

But I must be.
620 · Apr 2016
April 22nd
Sunflower Girl Apr 2016
I did not understand how joy could be so pure

Until I saw the sunrise
Like honey velvet dusting
The purple white mountains
Towering over their kingdom
As clouds whispered
Into their ancient ears

Until I brushed the petals
Of sleepy garden princesses
Soft and new
Bright and clear
With dew, the tears of stars
Kept safe in their hands

Until I let the air
Restless
Innocent
Wander into my lungs
And fill me with sweetness
Of the birth of the world

I did not understand how joy could be so pure

Until it was born in my soul
Spring mornings are so divine.
608 · Jun 2017
hey
Sunflower Girl Jun 2017
hey
hey world
im still here
dont you forget
doing what
i always have

dissolving into sunsets
and sinking into streets
and seeping into sky
every breath
a disappearing act

quietly i exist
in every whisper
of wind
when the world
wanders
wonders
where is that woman

hey world
im still here
dont you dare
forget me
594 · May 2016
To Be
Sunflower Girl May 2016
There are nights to feel
Impossibly small
To slip through the cracks
And be dust
And gone

There are days to be free
And fly and wish
Sprout wings on your back
And touch
The clouds

There are hours to shatter
Into a thousand pieces
And hold yourself together
With string
And glue

There are minutes to wonder
At ethereal graces
That hide in labyrinthine
Sunbeams
And leaves

There are seconds to catch
A radiant truth
Glimmering in simplicity
Silent
Yet strong

There is eternity to discover
How much a heart
Can hold and break and heal and glow
And become
Beautiful
560 · May 2016
Puddles
Sunflower Girl May 2016
She stared with glassy eyes, out glassy windows at the grey
Reaching from inside, but not a crack to show her pain
An empty glance she gave, trying to forget the lies
And it began to rain, not a drop the sky to save
Not a drop to save

Pitter patter on the roof broke through her apathy
Gliding down her velvet cheeks her sadness was set free
And by and by her shattered heart stabbed through her fragile chest
Shaky moments, shaky hands matched every shaky breath
Every shaky breath

Crumpling like a paper rose, she collapsed onto the floor
And there she stayed until she couldn’t feel it anymore
Again to her uncaring face her empty eyes were filled
With echoes of the pain once felt, again denied and killed
Again denied and killed

Sticky skin and puffy eyes, an empty house to wander
Far too little, far too many hours for her to ponder
Away, away, and back again to places long forgot
She discovered who she was and knew that she was not
Knew that she was not

Red rainboots splashed in puddles, where machines once did reside
Red noses, muddy feet, finding things that used to hide
And she covered her ears, too much to hear nostalgia call
She brushed away her fears, too gone to even stand at all
To even stand at all

Curled like a child, she fell into a deep blue sleep
Drowning all the while, in greyness still for her to keep
Silent tock ticks lulled, her to a state of harsh relief
In silence, dark, and cold, she woke again to heavy grief
To silent, heavy grief

An eye to turn her way, to hold her fractured, fragile soul
To find the strength to stay, to tell her she was beautiful
Though time could heal her wounds, the scars will never disappear
Chained by hopelessness she watched, as her life became her fear
Her life became her fear

And on and on it rained
497 · Aug 2016
In the Wake of Death
Sunflower Girl Aug 2016
Isn't it strange
How the glow of life
Can be snatched away
So quickly

How the iron in our veins
Can give us life
And all at once
Rip through them

Death is just another adventure
They said
They cried
They hoped

But adventure here
Or adventure there
The words in my throat remain
When they should have reached your ears

Viscous vengeful iron
With sharp fingertips
And blindness
You take another life

Procrastination
Dark and tempting delay
With illusions of tomorrow
You took my life

No more.
For you, my friend
Though iron cannot be ruled
Procrastination will take no more.
492 · Feb 2017
Maybe
Sunflower Girl Feb 2017
We ran through the snow
My bare feet turning to stone
My soul warm and glittering
Like dust in a sunbeam
Like sun showers in the spring

You wrapped my feet in your coat
Chipped magenta nail polish
Sheltered in fuzzy flannel
Both your hands enveloped my frozen fingers
My cold consumed by your warmth

With melodies crackling through the stereo
We drove down infinite streets
Lights reflecting on the misty windshield
As if the colors were drawn to our laughter
Strikingly vibrant, like stained glass

I let the stars fade into insignificance
And allowed the clock to dissolve
In the euphoria of existence
In the acquaintance of adoration
In the feeling of your rough cheek on mine
492 · May 2016
Invisible Truth
Sunflower Girl May 2016
Crowfoot underfoot in the hidden hanging valley
Step under intensive sunlight, illuminating hearts and sores
Dissenters blacken pointless fears, pit vipers in the night
Tie irremissible actions to destiny, feet chained to the floor
Maiden hair ferns brush cheeks and hands in shadowed paths
Confusion may never fade, **** that kills the essence of beautiful
**** of day, valley of night, sun and stars shine brighter
Grass stands tall in the grassland, stumbles are hidden, pain is hidden
Intangible grey in rain streaming down faces, eyes drown
Ells and dells and roads and streams cross perceptions of truth
Never to see actuality.
484 · Mar 2016
Perception
Sunflower Girl Mar 2016
Delusional?
Maybe just
Convoluted.
471 · Oct 2016
Late for Class
Sunflower Girl Oct 2016
I was going to be on time
But then I saw you
Blue eyes
The strings that connect us far too stretched out
Worn
Weary
As I walked away, catching time in my stride
The grey sky was bluer than it had been before
Seeing an old friend- both bliss and pain but cartharsis either way.
430 · May 2016
Abyss
Sunflower Girl May 2016
In my secret heart
Walled in by past
I stand at the precipice
Of every beautiful fear
Peering over at the darkness
And it looks back at me
The possibility of love terrifies me.
427 · Mar 2016
Evening Hymn
Sunflower Girl Mar 2016
Wispy fingers
Dance with tendrils of my hair
Blow across my calloused skin
Whisper stories in my ears
Of love older than memory

Stories of fading sunlight
That burnt the brilliant blue sky
With ethereal passion
Making it clear just how tormented she was
To leave him

Stories of restless storms
Blinking and shattering
Covering that brilliant blue
And giving all of his being
So the thirsty earth could soak, and live

Stories of ancient giants
That entwined their branches and roots
Their leaves brushing together
Still reaching toward the sky
Waiting for every unyielding storm to cease

So I close my eyes
Reaching out for the wispy fingers of the wind
And ask him
My wise companion
"Where can I find a love like that?"
419 · Jan 2016
Silence
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
Silence, a word
It is misunderstood
A lack of information, of feeling
But when I close my eyes
The silence reveals all I could not see
The truth
And untarnished beauty
Dusty moonlight
Leaves me with racing thoughts
Purple and blue
Electric
And my eyes refuse to open.
418 · Jul 2016
Change
Sunflower Girl Jul 2016
Janus, my demon
Pain in oxymoron
If beginnings and ends coincide
Will your faces reunite?

Janus, my tormentor
Change personified
I have pulled your faces together
And yet I cannot escape you.
Ending good things before they start because of fear of change. Ironically, things still change. I am learning this the hard way.
402 · Jan 2016
Small Things
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
Erasing myself in glittery sunshine, waking up with bright eyes. Red haired soul sister to share the stars and words that weave and whisper and dance like breeze in the spring blossoms. A perfect day.
When we think of a perfect day, do we consider the little things? Do we realize that true happiness if found there?
399 · Jan 2019
ocean at 6:58 am
Sunflower Girl Jan 2019
i cannot seem to discern where sea becomes sky in a serene slippery oneness of grey and pink the black fishing boats dart across the surface like birds and i feel if i could touch it i would turn into one of them and
                      fly
                               away.
396 · Feb 2016
Soul
Sunflower Girl Feb 2016
This is a story about a girl
Who saw people
As words
Strung
Together with
Light
Who was disappointed
When those words were boxed in
Identical
Concrete
Prisons
Who saw stormy words in a smile
And endless words in endless eyes
And fiery words in every breath
Sudden
Passionate
Free
She saw words that burned and danced on
Every
Molecule of
Air
Impossibly bright, but
Impossibly far
So far
She
Could
Not
Feel
Their
Warmth
385 · Jan 2017
Nope
Sunflower Girl Jan 2017
I am butter spread
On beautiful toasted life
Dangerously thin
I can't keep saying yes to things (said the girl saying yes to another good thing)
381 · May 2016
Domestic Conspiracy
Sunflower Girl May 2016
Complacently the white wall sat
Counting hours with the clock
The chairs surrounded patiently
And wondered where the sky could be

Expanse of freedom stolen from
The silent captives of the house
Holding up their guard, the roof
The white wall stays subject, aloof
374 · Oct 2016
Halfway
Sunflower Girl Oct 2016
Holding one earbud in my hand
I am half in the world, half in my head
The dichotomy is soothingly shattering
I have power over this splintering
I have power over something
373 · Jan 2016
You
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
You
You are
Pure
Glittering with light
I want to live inside your heart
And never feel cold
You are
An impossible creature
A soul free and vibrantly alive
And yet
You called me beautiful
369 · Dec 2016
0 degrees at 3 am
Sunflower Girl Dec 2016
I am awake.
Silence fills the chaotic air
A flurry of purity, my vision is blurry
I am still.

The world is dreaming of everything beautiful
Breathing together in separate places
And dancing through worlds of perfection
Completely unaware

They missed the magic of real life
At 3 am
At 0 degrees
When the stars decided to kiss the earth
It's snowing and I can't sleep, but that's alright.
355 · Aug 2016
Regime
Sunflower Girl Aug 2016
Waking up with the sun
Dusty eyes and sagging skin
Watch the mourning crowd roll in

Plaited hair, pressed apparel
Picket fences guard their tomb
Chained and guided from the womb

Silently they ruminate
But instead they walk on by
Truth obscured by vacant eyes
collaboration with unpractical peony
354 · Jan 2016
Words
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
Words
Scratch in my throat
Burn in my belly
Dance on my nerves
Vibrant
Alive
And so utterly inexpressible by my woefully inadequate and lifeless tongue
339 · Apr 2016
Blue
Sunflower Girl Apr 2016
You were the only one
Who could describe the sky
Like an old friend

Your voice rising and falling
With the curve of the clouds
And the depth of the blue

Reflected in your eyes
I saw the beginning of
Creation
334 · Feb 2017
Absence
Sunflower Girl Feb 2017
Still, my sleepy eyes
See you in graceful motion
Memory, not real.
330 · Jun 2017
red
Sunflower Girl Jun 2017
red
window
window flowers
flowers on her dress
dress in shop window
in this brown city
in this green country
there is no escape from its rarity
329 · Jan 2016
Bitter
Sunflower Girl Jan 2016
And what but life can feed my soul with light and splendid sorrows.
It is the one true bittersweet that fills endless tomorrows.
For though I know I'm living when I feel the love of light.
I truly know I'm living when I taste the bitterest spite.
321 · Feb 2016
Untitled
Sunflower Girl Feb 2016
The disembodied poet
Speaks the truth
That eyes
Would not see
311 · Mar 2016
Innocence
Sunflower Girl Mar 2016
"A little man"

They pinned to him
Wordlessly
With backs turned

They whispered to me
Silently
With sharp fingertips

And I saw
So clearly
His untainted soul
Was bigger than any of them
299 · Aug 2016
Untitled
Sunflower Girl Aug 2016
Glistening with shadows
Faces drift like dandelion fluff
Through the sunlight

Tearing through my veins
They disappear like cloud kingdoms
In the sky

Just out of my reach
They
Remain
297 · Jun 2016
Nothing
Sunflower Girl Jun 2016
Expression void of truth
Lacking any depth
I am drowning in
Nothing.

Stretched out hands
Glimmer of hope
Sparkles and dies in
Nothing.

My soul is vibrant
Alive and free
But cannot move in
Nothing.

No air, no warmth
But most likely pain
And the fear I will feel
Nothing.
283 · Jan 2017
Love
Sunflower Girl Jan 2017
There was a reason for him
But I can't remember what it was
He exists in me
No reason required
262 · Nov 2020
the morning
Sunflower Girl Nov 2020
ang mata nimo
puno sa himaya
sa kaadlawan

ang paglantaw nimo
wa’y tumong
nga akong makit-an

ang kalag nimo
magsayaw sa hangin
maglakaw sa gabon

magtingala ko
nga dili ko kasunod kanimo
gibilin lang ko sa yuta
249 · Feb 2021
Snow
Sunflower Girl Feb 2021
I sit in shallow sorrow
In blinding, blazing light
The soft wind starts to bellow
I hold my sweater tight
Floating ever downward
The snowflakes dance and swirl
I turn my cold face upward
The white that fills the world
Blanketed in softness
An icy, freezing bed
A purity if goodness
That falls onto my head
The black, the white, the greyness
The simpleness of cold
I reach to touch the newness
The newness that is old
And reaching back is silence
That teaches me to breathe
To find a total solace
Through noise that will not leave
The quiet that surrounds me
The silence never ends
Cold wraps her arms around me
Alone I am with friends
245 · Feb 2021
Willow Fairy
Sunflower Girl Feb 2021
Glassy water
Bubbly ripples
Dip my toes into the stream
Stand on pebbles
Hold the branches
Whispering breezes in between
Willow leaves are
My protection
And my love, my life, my care
Smiling lips and
Blushing faces
Wings are spread and hearts are fair
Endless joys and
Peace and beauty
Tinkling bells ring in your ear
Pools of laughing
Glassy water
Old and new and life and clear
241 · Feb 2021
1.
Sunflower Girl Feb 2021
1.
In the bright darkness the frozen world glittered
The trees drooped, draped in icy gemstones and snowy capes
They bowed over our path, like guards of a secret magical place
We stopped to look up, the moon so bright it shooed the stars
Away to some other place, away from us, away from this moment
And some feeling without a name, so tangible I could ****** it from the air
I closed my eyes to feel it surround us
Like the glittery snow and the majestic mountains, unmoving sleepy giants
And like the tree we wrapped out arms around, our fingers brushing on both sides
And like the moon making everything glow like a secret magical place
Older than words, outside of time, touching mortality for a moment
In the bright darkness of the frozen world.
209 · Feb 2019
Winter Walk
Sunflower Girl Feb 2019
icy ink close around
my dim eyes tired
from staring at the ground of
glistening starlight
breath billows pulled from my lungs like a ****
floating in the void
183 · Feb 2021
Solace
Sunflower Girl Feb 2021
Tiptoe through the frozen dancers
Touch the past and wander toward
Future places up above you
Beauty restless, peace assured

Towers of enduring presence
Whispering stories no one hears
Turn an eye and know the greatness
Silent giants no one fears

Moving to a silent rhythm
Intertwined with sky so blue
Unseen hands slip through pages
Laughing breezes, wisdom true

Lifted by unfaltering beauty
Hunger for a glance of why
Heartbeats of a world so broken
Breathless life and endless sky

Sheltered by the bursts of silence
Twisted figures reaching for
Fingers of another creature
Love unending, clear, and pure

Here I see undying radiance
Sacred warmth and calm relief
Softly flows a greater power
To my soul so filled with grief

Here forever till tomorrow
When another feels this light
Wander through eternal solace
Filled with strength, majestic, bright.
162 · Jun 2020
#3
Sunflower Girl Jun 2020
#3
To be not to seem
Now, esse quam videri
Is a distant dream
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