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Sunflower Girl Dec 2019
they say
that when a poet falls in love with you,
you live forever.
i’m here to tell you,
it isnt true.

i write to burn you out
of my heart and my spine every word
is a birthday candle
blown out with my breath.

i write to capture you
freeze you in time
a prisoner of memory
and adoration.

but the papers will yellow and crumble
to dust
Technology rot in
Entropic chaos.

my words can attempt
to capture a shade, a shadow
of your magnificent
impossible existence.

my words can construct
a shallow portrait
can contrive a journey
determining which cosmic events
caused you to breathe.

my words on the breeze
will travel far
and dissipate into existence
becoming a part
of the striving.

they say
when a poet falls in love with you,
you live forever.
i’m here to tell you,
you were meant for more than
a stagnant idea of futile longing in the soul of one creature in the universe.
Sunflower Girl Mar 2019
when i was born
my mother said
it felt as if a new mathematical state had come into being
       new creature.
              new possibilities
when my grandfather died
my mother said
it felt the same- as she sat in that old room, his spirit slipping into a new form
       old creature
              new possibilities
  Feb 2019 Sunflower Girl
Midnight Rain
tell me all about your
kaleidoscope eyes.
what love have they seen
to make them break with such color?
for their beauty aches with
the brilliance of stars.
so incandescently
veiled in tinges of blues and greens.
it is as if they have swallowed
the sorrows of the seas

so much magic in you,
i forget you are human
  Feb 2019 Sunflower Girl
Flies want to befriend
but really they keep checking
to see if you are dead.
  Feb 2019 Sunflower Girl
If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
Is off-brand raisin bran
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
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