You know its there
You feel it everyday
It holds you hostage from your own life
You try to defeat the control it has on you,
Managing to achieve it
You start to see the light,
Where darkness once reigned
An ending you are at peace with
But it only last a brief moment
Till it disappears  
Depression never ends

I check on you,
despite being blocked
I wonder what you're up to.
In the end I miss you often,
how could I not?
You were around for so long...
but I'm slowly learning
how to live without you.

Retinues of scholars and sages,
United in ages of our personal cages.

Desire to eclipse our wages linked in our pages, but always looking our worth in numerical gauges.

Truly the painful retrospect quantified aroma that arousal the mind in spiral, and the very essense of black hole is true chaos in it's definition of creation in us.

As I stand to breathe for a moment, I look to see that it haven't even been started, and what little  composure that exist in me dissipated the foundation of a cup that cracked.

Gaspe to grasp that it is ticking, and the sensation of lagging is more apparent with each passing day.

Maybe if I close my eyes, maybe I can rejuvenate to start again, or wake from this dream.

run your fingers through my hair
leave prints on my skin
run through the rain
getting rid of every trace.

A poem about you.
Give love
Be and see love
You forget yourself when you think of me
And then you remember you are the surest thing
Your dream is the dream that will be remembered
You fight on through your loved one’s peril
You make me want to punch you with your self-righteous remarks
Your judgments that injure me and my actions
Your opinions that speak louder than words as if the louder you speak, the more they will ring true
You have eyes of blue steel that have stolen my heart
Your strength in character shows up on the red on your sleeve
You understand when I fight against you
You forgive when I slap and ridicule you
You give your heart away, your time to me, you love harder and stronger than anyone I've ever known
You give yourself more to acts of kindness for me
You love freely with no boundary
You see me
You forgive me

I care too much about the little things you say
The things that matter to me don’t matter to you
It hurts
Money is lacking
Security is nowhere
Stability does not exist
Responsibility is you being irresponsible
Time and time and time again
These are all words you deem you hate
Yet you declare you hate nothing
No thing matters to you and that spells out “WARNING” signals to my aching heart

I ache for normalcy
I yearn for stability
I want to build a life with you, you declare it
Yet the building blocks are not there
I want you to succeed
But wanting and waiting and wishing and hoping are taking its toll on me

I want your brand of love but I deeply need stability
what is there to do?
can both exist between me and you?

Nights are the worst
I think it's because the dark nature of things makes it harder to see whats only a couple of feet in front of us
So we're forced to look at what's right in our faces
And most often it's not a courageous knight in shinning armor
And instead it's the dark and furious twisted enemy
So in fact, the real question is not
Where is my knight in shining armor?
But instead
Where is my armor?

I keep running, pretending
like I’m playing hard to get
so you won’t see the scars
so you won’t ask,
“who did this?”

So I don’t have to show you
how the scars still hurt
how some haven’t – and may not
heal quite right

sometimes at night, I can’t help
but notice the scars flare
like a busted open glow stick
and I can’t help, but to cry

So I don’t ***** up pain
only to have someone else
walk out like dad’s dad did
because
“it’s too much”
“I’m damaged goods”
“you should be over it”

Beat-up puppies feel love
even if it’s scared at first
or uncertain, or confused
they just need more time

But maybe this wall
translucent like frosted glass
will never come down

Or maybe, if this wall tumbles
will you please come in
and see who’s behind it?