I'm afraid for myself
I'm afraid that I won't know the difference between being in love and being naive.
But I'm also afraid of giving my heart to someone
Because I've seen the risks involved when you trust someone with yourself.
I'm afraid of getting a taste of that beautiful love I've always been hungry for,
And then being left to starve.
I'm afraid that they will leave me
I am always dreaming and fantasizing,
But then there are times I feel the pain and fear that comes with trust and being in love,
And I become nervous and unsure.
Will this happen to me?
Will I fall in love and think he's the one,
Only to be left alone?
To be broken and sad with an aching heart?
To be drained of my tears?
Left with a sore throat and heavy eyes?
Because as beautiful as love is there is always a
lingering risk you might have to face...
But I want to know.
I want to know how it feels to always be on someones mind,
To want to be with them.
To miss them so bad it hurts even if just for a day.
I want to experience the unending joy,
The high when you are so happy you're glowing.
I have shed a lot of tears and I have been more sad then most.
Not depressed, hopeless, or broken.
Just sad.
I want someone so bright that shadows cease to exist,
And everything dark and toxic is a distant memory that i can barely conjure.
Like the hint of a dream that is on the top of your tongue, but unable to recall.
I want someone to blind me with their very existence.
I don't know if this kind of thing only happens in fairy tails, but i hope that one day soon i will find the light I'm looking for, to enhance this bleak and dreary existence we sometimes call life.
Has anyone else ever felt this way?