Shakytrumpet

Shakytrumpet Jan 2020

Laundry

I wanted to die
so I committed suicide,
strung by my neck like clothes out to dry

I forget when i wrote this but i know why and im doing much better so i thought id share it

#suicide #die #poem

Shakytrumpet Dec 2019

Death

When I die
I want to be cremated
and have my ashes mixed with paint
just so someone can s
                                       p
                                         r
                                           e
                                             a
                                                d me
                                across a canvas.

Now paint me like one of your french girls

#death #funny #innuendo #ashes #paint #poetry

Shakytrumpet Dec 2019

'Twas the nightmare before Christmas

'Twas the night before
Christmas, And in my house, was
Santa, wearing Nan's blouse.

So what if Santa likes to cross dress in your nans clothes leave him be, he's stressed enough as is, the last thing he needs to worry about is being kink shamed.

#christmas #haiku #senryu #funny #humor #crossdress

Shakytrumpet Dec 2019

Wigs

Wigs, wigs, I wear wigs,
to hide the fact my hairline
thins. Love my merkins.

For those of you who know what a merkin is, I'm sorry for the loss of your innocence, and for those who looked it up again sorry for that mental image.
and if you liked this (not sure why but I'm flattered XD) check out my other haikus

#poemoftheday #wigs #funny #haiku #senryu #humor #hairline #merkin #thinning #thins

Shakytrumpet Dec 2019

Stutter

I try to talk
and begin to stu
tter
so much emotion and words
rushing
out
they clut
ter. Strings of thoughts tie up in knots,
a conglomerate of phrases,
I solve my sentences like
mazes.
I can't talk to say my thoughts so I'll write them out instead
putting all my emotion out in neat lines straight from my head

i do not stu stu stu stutter... except when i do like a speech, my hands have like tremors and i can't get any words out. or when I talk to a certain someone
Also if you didn't like this i can assure you my comical haikus are much better some are a bit offensive so you've been warned

#stutter #talk #poem #emotion #stuck #conglomerate #clutter #rhymes #express #fun

Shakytrumpet Dec 2019

Take Flight

Icarus takes flight
Error: Access out of bounds
Buffer overflow

Hopefully you all like this as much as i did after writing it.
Also check out my other haikus, they can be a bit offensive and some silly, but i think theyre pretty good

#flight #haiku #icarus #error #humor #funny #senryu

Shakytrumpet Dec 2019

Left out

Amputees are left
out, some don't even have
the right to bear arms

Ummmmmm, yeah sorry

#offensive #dark #humor #haiku #trigger #senryu