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Nov 2022 · 2.5k
Years to burn
Shakytrumpet Nov 2022
I wish I could burn those years away,
And watch the memories disappear between the flames
Whispers of that hell go up in smoke,
I cover up my ears, lest thoughts provoke
I woke up in the middle of the night and this just spilled out of my head so I wrote it down before I forgot. I have no idea where this came from, and even though I did, it doesn't feel like I wrote it
Shakytrumpet Oct 2022
I doo doo'd in my pants
And love the way it feels
The poo poo in my pants
Slithers down like eels

I am the **** snail

I scooch my **** along the floor
Leaving a trail of ***** matter
Caking the floor in ****
Call that my doo doo batter

I am the **** snail

I bring with me demise,
As I dawn my **** disguise
Hiding my empty pit
With this veil of stinky ****

I am the **** snail

Twilight blooms,
so does my prolapse
Leaving stains
along your doormats

I am the **** snail

The smell of ****
floods your home
It's oddly comforting
You're no longer alone

I am the **** snail.

My foul odor
calls, it beckons
Drawing people out
from all directions
They all squat down
And spread their *****
Trailing behind me
Their butts streak the grasses

WE are the **** snails
I would like to formally apologize for having written whatever this is.
I, shamefully, admit I giggled throughout writing this.
Dec 2021 · 595
Insert feminine name here
Shakytrumpet Dec 2021
Her hair burns
in brazen  embers
along side her  hazel  eyes.
A brilliant afterglow trails    her   ,
coating the   fields
in a blazing
auburn  .
If  only  she  knew
of her  effortless
magnificence  ,
I never write stuff like this, let alone about someone I know, and if she's reading this then welp (I had posted this on a diff account but I'm moving to here instead ***** it)
Sep 2021 · 851
Carousel Projector
Shakytrumpet Sep 2021
I've cut open my eyes
And to my surprise,
I found an old carousel projector
With millions of upsidedown pictures inside.

The machine starts to whir,
And my life flashes by,
Every memory frame by frame,
On these convenient little slides

Every laugh, and every smile
Every absence of joy,
Those slides seem to last longer on this carousel of poise.
My friends were talking about writing poetry and it's admittedly been awhile since I've written anything so I decided ***** it one more wouldn't hurt, I was gonna touch it up a bit here and there but tbh I can't be bothered, it was also gonna be longer butttttttttt :p (also if someone says carousel of poise doesn't make any sense too bad deal with it I do what I want)
Dec 2020 · 1.3k
Chess
Shakytrumpet Dec 2020
All alone in my room,
Without anyone that cares
So I sit in solemn silence,
Amongst my world of squares.

I feel like I'm in control,
As I spiral further down,
Clenching my pieces tightly,
Begging to be found,
Knowing it's hopeless,
I lay my king on the ground.
Lately I've been staying till late at night just playing chess, it's a nice distraction from the silence. No one is here, admittedly that sounds like a stupid thing to complain about at 1 in the morning but I just mean in general
Apr 2020 · 741
Short
Shakytrumpet Apr 2020
My girlfriend called me short,
it struck me right in my feels,
she said, "It's ok, I'll love you anyways,
plus you can just borrow my heels"
im like 5ft so yeah
Feb 2020 · 106
Pain
Shakytrumpet Feb 2020
The world forces us to grow up
through agony and Pain.
Is happiness even worth it,
when you can lose it all again?
We try to cheer ourselves up,
though we know it's in vain.
We can never stay happy,
theres no escaping Pain.
this poem is a few years old, but i hope everyone reading strongly disagrees with younger Thomas
Feb 2020 · 235
Absence
Shakytrumpet Feb 2020
Though my absence may make it seem
like I have disappeared,
the poems that I've left behind
make sure that I'm still here
sorry about not posting in awhile, though i doubt my short absence phased anyone, i made sure i left behind some reading material before my departure
Jan 2020 · 116
Laundry
Shakytrumpet Jan 2020
I wanted to die
so I committed suicide,
strung by my neck like clothes out to dry
I forget when i wrote this but i know why and im doing much better so i thought id share it
Dec 2019 · 304
Lost Dog
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
His name is Steven,
He's a Golden Retriever,
and he has no legs.

If you've seen him please
contact me at the number
on his name tag, thanks
Steven come home bud we miss you :(
Also, read my other haikus(ik they're senryus fight me) ;)
Dec 2019 · 591
Death
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
When I die
I want to be cremated
and have my ashes mixed with paint
just so someone can s
                                       p
                                         r
                                           e
                                             a
                                                d me
                                across a canvas.
Now paint me like one of your french girls
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
'Twas the night before
Christmas, And in my house, was
Santa, wearing Nan's blouse.
So what if Santa likes to cross dress in your nans clothes leave him be, he's stressed enough as is, the last thing he needs to worry about is being kink shamed.
Dec 2019 · 301
Wigs
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
Wigs, wigs, I wear wigs,
to hide the fact my hairline
thins. Love my merkins.
For those of you who know what a merkin is, I'm sorry for the loss of your innocence, and for those who looked it up again sorry for that mental image.
and if you liked this (not sure why but I'm flattered XD) check out my other haikus
Dec 2019 · 392
Stutter
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
I try to talk
and begin to stu
tter
so much emotion and words
rushing
out
they clut
ter. Strings of thoughts tie up in knots,
a conglomerate of phrases,
I solve my sentences like
mazes.
I can't talk to say my thoughts so I'll write them out instead
putting all my emotion out in neat lines straight from my head
i do not stu stu stu stutter... except when i do like a speech, my hands have like tremors and i can't get any words out. or when I talk to a certain someone
Also if you didn't like this i can assure you my comical haikus are much better some are a bit offensive so you've been warned
Dec 2019 · 511
Take Flight
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
Icarus takes flight
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Buffer overflow
Hopefully you all like this as much as i did after writing it.
Also check out my other haikus, they can be a bit offensive and some silly, but i think theyre pretty good
Dec 2019 · 993
Left out
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
Amputees are left
out, some don't even have
the right to bear arms
Ummmmmm, yeah sorry
Dec 2019 · 1.2k
Quotes
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
"It's nice to take a
couple of shots to clear your
mind", -John Kennedy
JFK is my favorite president
Dec 2019 · 510
Lazy
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
Pentasyllabic,
Heptasyllabic, and then
Pentasyllabic
I wrote this for national poetry month last year hope you all enjoy this as much as my English instructor did
Dec 2019 · 892
'Twas Unintentional I swear
Shakytrumpet Dec 2019
'Tis not the tender
Paper betwixt mine cheeks, 'tis
Mine hand that greets me

For fragile parchment
Hath been punctured by me, the
Derrière-keeper
Elegant **** jokes are fun

— The End —