I had to say goodbye to save my mind
I had to leave you in the past where you belong
You will never grow up
And I've grown too old to lie
Too over it to pretend
If I had lied
My emotions would have persecuted me
And my body language would have given me away
I don't wish it different
Because I don't like wishing in vain
The race has begun
But I'm not running
The fight is on
But I'm not fighting

The soul is no colour
The soul is no race
The soul is no gender
The soul simply is ...

I'm going to cut your supply
I'm going to starve that destructive fire from oxygen
The one which burns within you
That desire to hurt
I'm going to sweep your breadcrumbs from my doorstep
Take back your sullen energy
You who delight in sowing destruction
Look into the mirror of your empty eyes and see what's inside your toxic well
Your jealous empty heart contains nothing but deceit and destruction
Your blatant lack of empathy has unveiled your deepest secret
You have showed the world exactly who you are ... and finally we believe you
No more alibis for you
And once a serpent's head has been cut off
It will rage out of control ... but only for so long
Before it is no more
Like one who has been struck with madness
Like an addict without a drug
I am no longer your supply
I will save my empathy for those who deserve it
And I forgive myself for unknowingly enabling you by buying into your games
But most of all ... I'll be good to myself

I dreamt that I was in a cathedral I had never seen before
It was empty and serene
It was daytime, yet the candles were lit
The stained glass windows did not allow for too much light
I was wearing formal attire
It was then that I observed a child standing in the left isle
He seemed overcome by sadness and desperately lonely
The young boy came closer
At once he grasped me around my waist
He held me in a tight embrace
His little hands would not let me go
We were caught in a timespace
No words were spoken
Until the distraught boy broke the silence
Please, can I come home with you he pleaded
Though I recognised him from somewhere, I did not know him
Within a blink of an eye we were at home
The boy seemed happy to have found a safe dwelling
And I experienced a sensation of wholeness
Suddenly I woke from my dream within a daze
Trying to gather my thoughts
Trying to make sense of it all
Was it real or just a dream I wondered
Who was that child, and why did he look so incredibly familiar?
But the day had begun and the sun was bursting through the clouds
I stumbled to the bathroom, splashed my face with cold water ... looked in the mirror
At once I realised who the young boy was
It was me … Yes, me ...
I was the child who needed time and space to heal and grow
At an appointed time we met and merged
The pieces of a broken puzzle had come together
The inner child had finally come home

Mother you made me wear your coat of shame
A garment of lies you had created for me
A coat that never really belonged to me
I wore it as a cover-up
I wore it to please you
I wore it because I love you
And even though you're gone
I use love not in the past form
However one day my porcelain mask fell off
It hit the ground and shattered
It was time for me to spread my wings
My turn to fly ...
I was unable to continue playing the part
A role I had been given ... Like an actor in a play
A voice cried from deep within ... Be yourself!!!
Yet the weeds around my neck were still choking me
Words of obscenity they whispered in my ears ... ungrateful ******* is he
Oh how I wished they could have shared in the weight of my coat
A different tune they might have sung
They never felt its weight ... They never smelt its stench
How many times did I wish to take it off and wash it clean
Or simply toss it into the fire
Yet that coat taught me a lot
I could never lie to myself again ... A mask I could never wear again
They slip, they fall, they break, and they melt when the truth prevails
Yet from behind that mask I learned things
That no professor could ever have taught me

Ek is 'n alleen vlieënde uil
Ek ry op die rug van die wind
Niemand kan my hou nie
Niemand kan my vang nie
Ek lei 'n nagtelike lewe
Vol misterie
Deur die dag slaap ek
En ek **** ... ek **** nogal baie
Ek sit hier bo in my boom
Ek kyk af op die mensdom
Dom is omtrent die woord
Ek wonder hoeveel wysheid julle het
Ek wonder of julle weet *** groot 'n gebrek aan wysheid julle het
Dan in die stilte van die nag sing ek hoo hoo
Om die bygelowiges en die klein gelowiges te rattle
Veral wanneer ek op hulle huis se dak gaan sit
Dadelik skreeu hulle ... Iemand gaan dood!
Dan lag ek lekker in my vlerk vir die klomp simpel goed
Wat hieronder my rond skarrel ... Aih julle klomp liggelowige
My oë kyk deur julle
En ek weet dat julle my nie verstaan nie
*** kan julle tog ... Nooit!!!
Ek bly verre weg van die mens en die dom
Wat net wil moor en vernietig ... Di's julle natuur
Ek hou my een kant ... Want ek is een kant