Not sure what I need to feel better:
a benzo held under my tongue like a secret
or an exorcism to take the edge off.

On my Instagram talkin’ bout “I’m healed”.
I’m really thinking about dialing 911.
‘Cause they probably don’t believe me when I say I want to leave.

Our backs hold stories
Not even the spine
On a book can handle

she is a happy ending,
not everyone can wait for.

Night sits on my chest
Squeezes poems out of me
And grinds my poor soul

soft cheeks
radiant smile
a love unlike any i've ever known

I want to tell you
What’s in my head
This entire other world
The constant droning of voices
The screaming and thrashing within

But if I did
If I did...

You’d never look at me the same
I’d be broken to you
Damaged

I know that I am...
But I just...
I can’t let you see me like that

Break my bones;
cut my throat.
Pull me open,
learn the ropes.

Breath me in;
taste the fear.
Shank my skin;
stand and cheer.

Kick my head;
let me bleed.
Unbolt my veins;
enjoy the read.

Gouge my eyes;
punch my face.
Wrap me up
in your embrace.