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Rj Jul 2014
It's funny that I don't know who I'm writing these poems about.
Rj Jan 2017
Now the holidays are over...
Rj Jan 2017
I look out at the dark black waves and I wish I was under them
I'm at the lake rn
Rj Nov 2017
I don't even know what to say except I'm exhausted
And I don't want to be here
Rj Nov 2017
It's over.. isn't it?
Yea it's a line from a song in Steven Universe.
Rj Jan 2016
One year clean
Clean wrists
Clean thighs
Clean heart
Clean mind
Rj Oct 2014
It's 11:23 I'm barely awake
I'm going to write what comes to my mind
Brainstorming is easy
I need a hand to hold
Please someone come watch
Adventure time with me
I know my mom doesn't like me
I wonder if my parents truly think I'm ugly?
Tears are coming out if my eyes
Is crying a normality now?
My head hurts from math
Spooning is also fun
How am I datable?
Oh wait I'm not
Why am I not?
Because I made myself not able to be
Can I make myself datable again?
I think I should learn to love myself
Before I let others love me
I want to get drunk
And do fun ****
**** I used to do last year
Im sleepy
I was half sleeping when I wrote this
Rj Nov 2017
I am rediscovering who I am
Rj Jan 2016
Smudged, filthy, *****, polluted
Opposites ig
Rj Nov 2017
Sitting down,
knees to chest
**** naked
Hot water
A sad song
Pocket knife
No surprise
*She's a ***** afterall
Excuse my language :)) but I don't really care
Rj Feb 2018
Maybe if you saw yourself
Through my eyes
You would understand
Rj Dec 2016
I'm not any better
But I'm a lot better at hiding it
I don't want to scare you all
Rj Dec 2017
When you come down from the manic, La La Land, I-can-do-it, future bright, endless possibilities cloud that seemed to ascend straight to God Himself
The fall is that much further
5:57 PM
Rj Jan 2018
You’re left with just your dreams now kid
Rj Jan 2016
I still fear you don't care
Rj Feb 2018
It follows you.
It stays
It hides
It runs
It grasps
Rj Sep 2015
I got a heart
And I got a soul
Believe me I will use them both
One Direction
Rj Jan 2018
I am angry at you for not trying harder for me
I am angry at you for making me think I am not worth your time
Rj Oct 2014
I'm slipping away from myself
I don't have emotions anymore
That is, except for at two AM
Rj Dec 2017
The temperature hastily drops
Wind blowing, rain streaming
I woke up late this morning
The sky's been plastered

I walk meagerly to class
This day will be the shortest.
Rj Mar 2018
My heart is torn
It bleeds and aches
But sometimes
You’ve got to hurt
To heal again

The pain I feel
When I tell them
How it was
When I tell them
When I show them

The picture on my camera
The look on their faces

My half smile
In pieces
This is my 1000th poem I believe
Rj Mar 2017
Hypocrites standing all around
The room is filled with pointless sound
Bodies minds emotions dead
Anything to stop my spinning head
Rj Dec 2015
I'm sorry I hurt you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I want to be a ******* doctor
I want to fix people
So know that hurting them isn't really my thing
I feel like ****
I feel like ****
And I keep staring in my drawer
I pulled it out and I stared at it and I stared at it
I mean I deserve it right?
After being so **** hurtful
I deserve it right
No it's almost been a year.
Just know I'm sorry
Know I'm not forgiving myself
Know I'm in pain too
Know I wish you'd never known me
Because then you wouldn't be hurt
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I am nothing
How could you fall for this
I am sorry
Rj Jul 2018
I don’t want to be awake
Rj May 2018
Have you ever said goodbye forever
And know that it was true
Just a reflection, and some food for thought. I’m starving
Rj Dec 2017
I've chewed all the skin off my finger tips
My finger nails are stubs
The inside of my cheeks are ******
Hmm what the hell is next
Yeah I could've probably written a nice poem with a vague metaphor but lol nah
Rj Jun 2018
I don’t want to do this anymore
Rj Feb 2016
Every single part of my body
Shakes vigorously with
Anger, sadness, depression
My hands tremble aggressively
And I put my shirt in my mouth
So he won't hear me scream
******* and what you did to us
And I lay half naked on the floor
Of my locked room sobbing violently
When is it too much to handle
Rj Dec 2015
Sometimes it's not your fault
Sometimes you did all you could
And all I can say is
*Never again
Things are better. Much.
Rj Nov 2017
A foot of space between
My head and cold steel
It's in the drawer Miranda
It's right there Miranda
Just reach out and touch it Miranda
It wouldn't even hurt
Rj Nov 2017
But I didn't even reach for it
There are papers to write
Cats to pet
More ******* **** to do
Poetic, I know
Rj Feb 2015
It seems like everyone I am encountering is either taking advantage of me, or doesn't care
Rj Sep 2014
Why is it the most adventurous, fun jobs in life
Don't pay enough to even own a house
Rj May 2014
Dear people in hard times:
I know your situation is unique
And there are people willing to listen
But the one person willing to listen,
Wanting to love you more than anyone else
Has appointments available anytime, day, or hour
So stop by and have a talk with Him
I forgot to mention He's omnipresent!
So you can talk to Him anytime
In bed, in school, anywhere!
And He's great for a talk or prayer,
Because all he wants is to be your friend
So take this wonderful opportunity
Talk to God today!
He will lift the burden off your shoulders
If you love and believe in Him,
You will get a free life-everlasting!
Don't miss this offer!
He definitely doesn't want you to
Rj Feb 2017
Suicide jokes aren't funny anymore.
Please don't make them. ESP if it's around someone you know has or does feel that way. It trivializes a very serious matter that eats away at many people.
Rj May 2015
There is a time when too much
affection wells up inside me
And I become rude and mean
For fear it will all drain out at
The slightest word
Rj Mar 2015
You tore me down and built me back up a little stronger
Maybe I should be saying thanks
Rj May 2015
Aggression: pursuing ones own aims and interests forcefully
Yes, I would agree, I am aggressive
Rj Jun 2019
My knees hit the floor as I throw myself toward you
I don’t know what I’m asking for except relief
And even that is too much because I am not worthy
Take it away please just take it away
Except Job has more faith than me.
Rj Sep 2015
They all said that her hair made her look crazy
But maybe crazy is exactly who she is
Crazy in the absolute best way:))
Rj Jan 2018
I’m so sick
In the head
I’m so very sick
Rj Nov 2014
I'm a little ******* up
A little self focused
A little self hating
A little bit jealous
A little bit confused
A little bit gay
A little bit straight
A little in love
But a little out too
A little messed up
But I'm enjoying every minute
Rj Sep 2015
We got to live before we get older
Do what we like
We got nothing to lose
Shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders
Oh, we got nothing to prove
One Direction
Rj Sep 2015
I stare at the key pad
Watching the cursor
blink  blink  blink
And I can't make words
I can't put these thoughts
Into sentences
That wouldn't all be
Rj Apr 2017
I squinch my nose up as the smell of **** plumes out of the truck my cousin hopped out of
Sitting in the back of her car, nauseous because of the smell and half car sick
We sit at a table half eating lunch, half staring at the walls,  only small talk
Once best friends able to spend weeks on end together, we've grown apart
Her interests in drugs and boys and things that trigger these rain clouds of thought push me away
I speed to Nana's, desperate for the familiar *****, warm feeling
My grown cousins greet me with empty hugs and greetings and the gap gets wider
I watch as their children run and scream and play and I am swept back to my own childhood
The old joy filled bike races and ***** games of hide and seek ripple faintly
I realize that I'm all grown up, that nothing I can do will transform me into the toddlers I watch playing in the yard
The feeling leaves me hollow inside, devoid of the wonder of childhood and struggling to fill the peculiarly shaped hole growing up has gouged into me
The further I go the wiser I get, and the more unhappy I become
I'm left confused as to how magical this place, these people were when I was so young
And how dull, and futile it's all now become with age.
Rj Aug 2015
Love is all I have to give
Please just take it
Because it all I have to give
Rj Jun 2018
All I see is black
I don’t even want it back
It’s simply that I lack
The will
Rj May 2015
Funny how all my friends are here
And I'm still in my dark room
Laying in my small bed, **alone
Rj Mar 2015
I can tell you I tried
I drew a picture of a grove of trees
I learned to play a new song
I laid with my dogs in the sun
But the trees were bare
And the song was Fireproof
And my dogs left to lay in the shade
Of course. Everything is a reminder hahaha
Rj Oct 2016
She smokes cigarettes outside in the dark
She likes the way it feels knowing the smoke is deadly
Her pale face and sunken grey eyes, drug induced state
She doesn't try anymore, and
Her hoodie isn't thick enough to warm her skin,
Growing ever colder
But I've pushed her so far down that she is gone now, and hopefully forever.
A poem about who I could have let myself become, but didn't.
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