Blacken my heart
Capture my Soul
All these ways
And I don't know where.
Where to go?

Anger boils my core
Alone I wander
My heart beats softly
And I want to know why
Why it beats on?

Time continues to haunt me
Clinging to the past
It grips me tightly
And I need to know how
How I let go?

Am I found now?
No. Surely I am lost
My nature has left me
It tempted me with a place to go
It whispered why I am here
And then it told me to let go,
by giving into the pain.

I didn't want to listen
Just let me stay here with my questions.
It's comfortable having that control
It's peaceful to live within the known.

Breathe,
Please for the sake of your heart.
Stop yelling!
Stop digging your grave deeper.
He wouldn’t hear, even if I spoke louder than his anger.
The frustration is building.
His fear, his brokenness.

A man tortured by an illness
A life not lived,
a person not changed.
From the bottle
to the cigarette
to the stabilizer
Fifteen year chip and he’s still the same

A woman helpless to helping him
“What did I do she always asks?”
As if she is to blame for his outbursts
his anger that covers his depression and regret
She’s not a victim, she has a family that supports her
If she could find the strength after thirty years
Married under a church and steeple, for best or for worst
Well what about her best? her Worst?
What about his decaying health?

Someone just walk away
Is there anything worth saving?
Besides themselves?

My starlight captures only what is so deeply etched within my soul.
Phases twist me around till I collide with the earth.
The moon above with it’s devilish glow turns sideways.
I cannot be born again to behold such trickery.
This nature is so unforgiven.

I shake with chills over how it treats me.
From blurry faces to blood dripping from my fingers,
To babies laughs and caskets lowered to the ground.
You are cruel world - you deceive me.
When will you mean, when will you show, and maintain your beauty.
How old will I be when you no longer worship a sun?
What about us? We walk on your soil.
You and I belong

So touched by our stupid pity tragedies that you rain storms that sweep us away.
Why do you not long to know us?
For we are too small and you too well- overwhelming.
The tides roll in but you don’t reach us.
We sit on the sands and try to understand
Hope dwindles on you to look out for us
To be more than a sky of clouds.
The oxygen fills my lungs
I breathe and I breathe you in
But still- your nature breaks me again.