Maybe we were drawn together
at fragile time
We saw too much
and accepted this as a paradigm

It makes me sick
what made you tick
was justifying lies
Standing proud
your tiny shroud
your pedestal of grime

And then I broke
you made me choke
on all our little pieces
I spit and sputtered everywhere
watched them float into the creases

Meanwhile my masterpiece was
painting pretty pictures of us
Displaying them
relaying them
in all 4 different seasons

I showed them off to others
exhausted to the core
While I scoured
for our precious tiny pieces on the floor

You stood above me smirking
taller than the sky
You knew I'd never find them
you knew that I'd just cry

One day I just stopped looking
and now I know thats good
Now I draw the line
between I can
and when I should

No longer am I hunched and crunched
on my knees and on my hands
Searching through the carpet fibers
through the dirt
and through the sand

But there's something that I never knew
When I finally said enough
When I held my head up high
And decided to be tough

They said that you would lie to me
And promise to be better
They said that you would write to me
apologies and letters

They said all sorts of tiring things
That I one day saw as true
I didn't want to see it
That the monster was just you

They said that I'd be better off
Once I finally leave
But they never told me years from now
I'd still be missing parts of me

I've lived my life in stages
Searched the spaces between stars
Ripped out pages that I hated
I haven't gotten very far
But when I feel ages have passed me on
When I lay my head down to cry
I think of how you came to me
Straight down from the sky
This is for you
I stand front and center
Cherish words that you learned
by phrase and by letter
And I promise my baby it all will get better
If we only try
I am only trying to get by

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do
But just know in the end, I do it for you
You saved me, ornately, a tiny cherub
The weight on your wings I was unaware of

Admittedly,  

I thought commitment
would be nothing but a figment
but instead of growing distant
I analyzed each pigment

holding onto hips
as well as every instance
biting lips at the thought of fingertips
heart eclipses

juxtapose
wrapped under the blanket from nose to toes
apposing clothes
disrobing
no need for them here I suppose
Crowned Bell of the ball
without a dress or even lingerie
Found a menagerie of reasons
that I'm at last able to feel this way

it's faultless
these pictures that my mind take are defaulted
on my mind most of the time
every freeze-frame simply flawless
I swear I never saw this coming
whether inches away or miles apart
distance plays no role
when it comes to matters of the heart

At last
demolition of walls constructed from my past
recognition of it all
wrapped and bandaged up my callused hands
Created by delusions
no tools of the trade
Put up an illusion
mercury in retrograde

I was afraid of moving backwards
but it’s simply not the truth
standing still upon my axis
time just stops when I’m with you
Never felt so blessed in deliquesce
I’m melting where I stand
watch chaotic messes decompress
each time I take your hand

locks tangled
curls are mangled
climbing
intertwined
can’t make out where yours begin
or which are even mine

I’m lost in it
the thought of it is nothing short of bliss
not even scorpius’ bright collection
could shine as bright as this

Lull to sleep in seconds
breathless
before it took me hours
I tried every single method
excepting magic powers
magician you must be
tricks that mesmerize
I’ll be your assistant
if it means I’m by your side

Shiver cold, where has my home gone
structure isn’t made of brick or boulder
its collar bone, bathed in blue light from your phone
tip of the roof, your neck and shoulder

I shouldn’t dare, without a care is where I tend to do the most of my damage
You learn to share, and separate the pair, they send you off hoping that you can manage

Flesh and bone and heart and ache
in it in the end for what we take
optic tract symmetry
all we really want is everything

We learn what we see and we don’t say what we mean
What a world full of confusion
squeaky clean, you’ve never done a thing
Until it all comes down to the conclusion

So take it in, be sure you learn to swim
majority of us are drowning
so come inside, I’ll let you run and hide
And teach you all there is to know about me

Flesh and bone and heart and ache
in it in the end for what we take
optic tract symmetry
all we really want is everything

I couldn't resist her
Her eyes reminded me of our past
she was soft and plush
but different and it was fast
You are everything
I want no more of that
It's not you
just a part of me that's bad
Why're you still upset?
you know you're heaven sent
But then again
what did you expect?
I could have folded
this entire deck
Things were difficult
things were bad and wrecked

after all is said and done, its fine
love is, after all, simply a frame of mind
love is at its best, out of sight out of mind

I couldn't resist him
his eyes were like a dream
words you said
bursting at the seams
You are everything and some
Yes, you are everything and more to come
And I know, that nothing could get between
my baggage so touch and go
maybe I don't wanna know
But then again
maybe it's for the best
better than I could ever guess
I treasure, my best and closest friend
I put my misery behind
although it hurts from time to time

after all is said and done its fine
love above all else, is kind
and I heard sometime long ago, that love is blind

I feel our arms they're intertwining
inosculation through the years
I want your heart to beat erosion
armored from my salt and tears
They say its all apart of process
we all have to pay our dues
I was scraping off the mosses
and broke off some bits of you

here it comes
I hide it all
for another day
scratch and scrawl
crumpled paper *****
just thrown and tossed away
I'm so small
but I have time
so much more to gain
I may fall
but know my call
the one and only protégé

tear the heart off of my sleeve
tissue deep under your nail
you snatched it up, scratched it
threw it down, and watched it flail
desperate chambers
pumping restless but alas to no avail
my breast is empty, yet its tempting
my innards set to sail

here it comes
I hide it all
for another day
scratch and scrawl
crumpled paper *****
just thrown and tossed away
I'm so small
but I have time
so much more to gain
I may fall
but know my call
the one and only protégé

are you hollow are you gasping?
are you just like me?
a beached whale thrashing
rolling 'round in debris
no you are different
a tiny treasure I adore
perfect pearl shining big and bright
washed right next to me ashore
how rare it is to find such a tool amongst the trash
but was this jewel made of parasite or lonely grain of sand?

here it comes
I hide it all
another day
scratch and scrawl
crumpled paper *****
just thrown away
I'm so small
but I still have time
so much to gain
know my call
the one and only protégé

family friends since we were small
tracing grout in linoleum floors
I watched your dad pull those tapes out
he drew his weapon you drew yores

I can't be mad I say to this day
generations cursed
my first boyfriend shook his head
"I thought I was your first?"

there was a lump in my throat
and I thought back to that game
little frog ran over by the cars
you taught me how to skip through lanes

first friend that I ever had
I still think that you knew better
simply "child's innocence"
crayon written apology letter

floral pattern sheets
I was a flower at full bloom
until you flung me on that bed
I wilted in that room

you told me sometimes that it hurts
but it'll be super quick
that I cannot say anything
people will think I'm sick

It all goes black soon after that
red stain, metal taste, a puncture
Did the right thing after the fact
though frozen like a sculpture

you went on and on again
and never really paid
those girls carried it with them
through 1st and 2nd grade

and now I am a grown up
with something in me hollow
a little froggy in my throat that I still cant seem to swallow

I told myself I'd get better
through hell or through high water
but then felt you pluck more petals
when I heard you had a daughter