I noticed a small scar on my German teacher's elbow today
It called to me, reeled me in, filled my senses
It whispered of days and nights thought long-gone
When any sharp object in reach would do
When any little remark or joke or situation would set me off
It whispered of the sound of skin parting
And the bite of metal
And the eureka! of blood
And the taste of satisfaction
It whispered of the moment of peace
Tranquillity
When everything becomes nothing
And pain becomes everything
And nothing is painful

Then I remembered the tears of my mother
The horror in my friends' eyes
The shame I felt
The bitterness before each guilty slice
The stubbornness inside me screaming don't let it win!
The worry they feel
The pain I cause them
By causing pain to myself
And I return to reality
And she is still talking
Oblivious to my dip into darkness

I have won the battle
But the war will not be over for a long, long time