Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink which wrote those notes, we passed in class,
I’d read them, my hair a curtain round my face,
Hiding the feelings my face would betray.
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink which wrote those love letters stashed carefully under a comer  of my bed.
You’d read them, a light smile playing on your lips, in your eyes I’d see my words and
I’d fall in love with you all over again.
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink that wrote those poems in my notebook,
The ones you’d pretend you couldn’t see.
I’d read them again and again,
And each time I’d find a sadder meaning behind each line.
And you have to believe me I’d never do all of this just for attention.
Ink, ink, ink,
It was the same ink that wrote those dreadful, melancholy lines you’d hear people talking about in the hallways.
I’d sit in a corner of the washroom sobbing till I couldn’t breathe,
Then wash my face, erasing all the evidence off my face that my eyes couldn’t hide.
They’d look at me and ignore my pain, cuz u know people they’d rather believe the lies than hear the truth.
Ink, ink, ink,
And finally it was the same ink that wrote that suicide note I kept on the rack. I read it one last time before finally walking away, slipping and drowning into the water.
But this time I didn’t try to fight back.
**I SANK, I SURRENDERED, I SLEPT.

Inhale, Exhale*
Watch the smoke dancing in the light
Inhale, Exhale
Grab the light before it vanishes into the night
Inhale, Exhale
Drowning deep in the ocean blue
Inhale, Exhale
I'm burning too
Inhale, Exhale
Battle scars linger forever on broken hearts
Inhale, Exhale
Wipe your wet eyes
Inhale, Exhale
Let the curtains go up
Inhale, Exhale
The show has just begun

I counted the moments as I fell,
And I was Alice, tumbling and falling
First faster, then slower,
But never, hitting the ground.
I kept on falling.
I thought of you as I fell,
Your dark lashes fanned out against your cheek,
The steady rhythm of your heart
The feel of your hand on my waist and your lips on my neck,
Your heavy breaths,
Your dark hair failing gracefully over your eyes,
The taste of you: salt, heat, want and lust,
I kept on falling.
I thought of you as I fell,
The empty static the only thing left,
Broken heartbeats and tired eyes,
Your ghost that roamed my house,
Haunting me, taunting me,
The voices growing louder and louder,
The silence unbreakable,
The static kept on streatching,
Cigarette ashes and empty tequila bottles,
The nights cold and unbearable,
I kept on falling.
I thought of you as I fell,
****** wrists and a fake smile plastered on my face,
My heart cold and frozen,
All the warmth evaporating,
An oxygen mask forcing me to breathe,
An ocean of pills, an unsplept bed,
Monsters from under the bed escaping to my head,
Hallucinations and nightmares,
Became the same thing,
I kept on falling.
I counted the moments as I fell,
And I was Icarus, drowning and falling because I had flown too close to the sun,
*I kept on falling.

One day, you and I,
We're going to learn to smile again.
One day, you and I,
We're going to learn to love again.
One day, you and I,
We're going to find a reason to live again.

In the end it was the tortured silence that led me to the asylum.
Demons were winning,
I had no power to fight,
They thought I was crazy,
“Send her to an asylum now.”
They’d all turn away as I walked down the hall,
And as soon as I left the whispers would start.
They’d look at my wrists no matter how swiftly I pulled down my sleeves,
And whenever anybody looked at me their eyes held accusations
Rumors, Jokes, Gossips,
Became the daily routine of stabs in my heart,
Sleeves grew longer, hair grew shorter,
Lies became the constant thing, and the truth faded away,
Leaving the constant hum of static.
Heart was broken, nobody cared,
My sobs grew softer as I buried my voice.
I was choking on my words,
And writing them down was the only option left,
One option, no choice.
The gossips grew louder,
It finally wore me down,
They said I felt guilty because I broke his heart,
But, they were all wrong,
He had broken my heart, so I had broken my soul,
The word ‘broken’ became overused.
My laugh became more hopeless than my sobs,
Knife in my hand, positioned at my chest,
My aching heart wasn’t hard to find,
Silence became louder, heart was bruised,
Crushed into pieces no superglue could fix,
Tell me, who’ll be kind enough to **** me now?

You had made everything forbidden for me.
The way I couldn’t witness anybody smiling without recalling your ghostly smile.
The way I couldn’t touch anybody without remembering your soft caresses.
The way I couldn’t love anybody without thinking back to when I had believed that I had loved one who had deserved such a love as mine. How, you had been so silent, as though you had never yet to love or be loved.
You had made everything so forbidden for me.

If the world keeps pulling me down,
Then should I just let myself drown?

I’ll sleep away all the grief,
Hoping one day I’ll find relief.
I’ll wait till the sky turns golden,
Hoping someone will come help me with this burden.
So wake me up when it’s over,
Till then I’ll lay down in a bed of clover.
At night when the lights will go down,
There will come a moment when I’m lost but found.
There will come one day,
When there will be no regret, no more nightmares and waking up covered in sweat.
There will come one day,
When I’ll finally fall asleep, somewhere far away in a slumber dark and deep.

You told me you were sick, suffering from a dreadful heartache,
I couldn’t see the face under your mask, so terrible, so fake,
I believed your beautiful lies, and trusted your bright, hypnotic eyes,
*But, you left me trapped in a well woven tale.

I fell for you baby, But I should've known better
because everything that falls ends up*
-b-r-o-k-e-n-

The shadows under your eyes spoke of moonlit sleepless lights,
The scars on your wrists spoke of lost battles and fights,
The pills in your shelves spoke of desperate relief,
The blades under your bed spoke of endless gries,
You broken-hearted smile spoke of silent pain,
And the tale of a broken soul, never to be mended again.

Perhaps you would be happy in those endless dreams,
To drug your way out of this pain,
To drift silently into and enchanted sleep from which you would never have to wake up again,
But I ask you this. I ask you this out of pure selfishness,
Come back to me. Come back for me,
And when you do you, you will find me waiting here
And I shall love you the same.
I will love you with every broken heartbeat.
Always.

One last cut,
For all the times I thought that
the girl behind the scrawled art, bruised heart and
the boy with the sad eyes, beautiful lies could have a
happy ending.

Your voice was like a
- s   i   r   e   n   -
that lured me to the depths of your
*-c  h a s m i c    h e a rt -

You were the stars to all my darkest nights

I remember that I lay in your arms as we watched the meteoric sky,
I saw a shooting star
I closed my eyes and made a wish,
I wished that you would stay,
But you didn’t,
So I drank to forget your name.
I remember that night I lay alone in my yard and watched the dazzling sky,
I saw a shooting star,
I shut my eyes and made a wish,
I wished that you would come back,
But you didn’t
So this time I drank to forget my name.

I cried, I smiled,
I screamed, I tried,
My final choice,
Cut a little deeper or
Ingest a whole bottle.
A bullet through my skull or a
Rope around my neck.
So many options
*But, I only got one choice.

My parents always said I needed protection,
Protection from what I never understood,
So I went on doing whatever I wanted,
But, now I know what I needed protection from,
Yeah, I guess my parents were always right,
You can’t trust anybody in this backstabbing world,
I learned my lesson after I met you,
**But, baby this is one lesson too hard to accept true.

He wove words out of his mouth so beautiful, that even the most well-written story seemed dull compared to his words.
His eyes the shone so bright a blue, that after looking at him once I knew that the sky would always look colorless to me.
He had spoken with a voice, a voice more beautiful that desire. There had never been a sound more lovelier than his voice.
He had touched me with a touch so full of want, that as soon as he let me go, I knew that he had left his mark on my heart.
He had created for, me a world, drawn with the strokes of his love, and filled with unsaid words and unspoken promises, a world so delicate and fragile that a single breath could have knocked it down.

He had painted for me dreams so vivid that I wanted to be trapped in his world and never wake up again.

Then, he had pushed me so far that our past had become a reminder of I had desperately searched for but could not find. So, our love had retreated to a distance where memories became painful and silent.

A story of a king, a queen, and a kingdom of dust,*
A story of dreams, desires and lust,
A castle surrounded by ivory towers,
An enchanted kingdom of ancient powers,
That's were we fell in love a life time ago,
In a place where at midnight the sky seemed to glow,
In a battle of anger, loss, and pain,
You bid me farewell, didn’t bother to explain,
So our story remained preserved between tattered old pages,
And my love confined in distant old cages.

Do you write poetry about me, like I write about you?*
Do you know what happened, cuz I don’t have a clue.
Simple questions that haunt my mind,
Now it’s just playing forward, no more rewind,
A dozen of poems and a library full of stories just for you,
I’m feeling numb, my heart beaten black and blue,
I stand here waiting for you.
Do you write poetry about me like I write about you?
Is this the part where we say adieu?

Doomed are those who fall in love because they fight a war everyday. Those who come victorious revel in it's glory while those who lose keep on fighting until they become victorious.
*Doomed

Don't fall in love baby, you don't have the power to fight anymore.

You asked me why there were no mirrors in my house
“Because not everyone sees beauty in them. They don’t always show beauty”

Sometimes it shows us the monsters we are.

I’m still waiting for you,
I’m still waiting
for you to tell me
this isn’t
t  r  u  e.

I was thinking at night one day,
If there were other words far away.
Do you think there would be one for you and me?
Would there be one where we’d both be free?
Perhaps, there are other worlds far away.
Maybe, we’ll visit them one day.
Until then I’ll keep rewinding the memories of us walking hand in hand.
Until then I’ll keep listening for the echoes of our laughter from that distant land.

What was it about your voice that had made me fall for you?
Maybe, it was the way you spoke, your bittersweet voice so soft almost unable to be heard.
Or maybe, it was your words, so mournful and full of regret that I knew at once that they must have been uttered from a broken heart.
Maybe, it was the sound of you voice, how your tone had always spoken of heartbreak and misery.
Or maybe, it was how when you spoke all I could do was to listen in spellbounding silence.
What was it about your voice that had made me fall for you?

They say that we’re all candles,
Burning in the silver darkness of the world,
But, then if I’m a candle too,
Then there must be something wrong with me,
Because instead of burning,
*I’m fading out.

I took out my pen and paper today,
Hoping I could finish that suicide note so I could finally walk away,
Dear mom and dad I wrote at the top of the page,
I’m sorry, forgive me, but I can’t live in this cage,
I don’t think there’s any more sanity left in me,
I’m sorry forgive me, I just want to be free,
Dear mom and dad, you were always the best,
I’m sorry forgive me, I just want to rest,
I folded that paper and kept it aside,
I took another one and started to write,
Dear beloved, you were the only one I ever desired,
But, you broke my heart left me drained and tired,
There are some sorrows which the heart forgets not,
There are some wounds which time heals not,
I took shelter in the depths of my heart, that’s where I hid,
I want you to lose your heart and then your mind like I did,
I always did and still love you alot,
But you never decided to give me a second thought,
I took both the papers, kept it on my rack,
I looked back once, knowing I’d never come back,
I could hear my heart pounding as I walked down the hall,
I’ve accepted my fate; I was always meant to fall,
I jumped from a building, a smile on my face,
As soon as I hit the ground I’d ended the race,
I knew what I did, call it a mistake,
*But, this pen and paper had become my escape.

Darkness crept up from behind me, laying one cold hand on my shoulder,
Its breath was like ice down my neck, and its touch was searing,
I looked in the mirror and expected to see a demon from the blackest of hells,
But instead I saw myself hovering right behind me

A fallen angel,
A master of disguise,
A pretty mouth to spread beautiful lies.
A fallen angel,
An act well played out,
Because angels have beauty we know nothing about.

You said there were people out there who cared*
Where were they when I spent the nights standing alone
Where were they when I cried so hard I couldn’t breathe
Where were they when I turned around and found only cold sheets and empty beds
Where were they when the floor was covered with crimson red flowing down my wrist
*And, You said there were people out there who cared