its dragging my feet through the snow in an attempt to make the journey easier for those behind me.
not answering the hardest question because there is someone somewhere milling it over and will suddenly understand and bring joy.
about the late nights looking over balconies for the lady who i'm sure will one day look back and wave because she's lonely.

but i've never thought about such things.

instead the sun brings with it smiles and the clouds rain and scowls but come umbrella banter or parasol proddings the day has to pass.
it has to.
there's a beauty somewhere within your eyes and looking into them a little too long has left me with one of those purple rings that never want to stay in sight.
i guess you hide in them too.

which of course is fine. its a little lonely being the one who only looks.

come with me one day to the hill where the ground turns to the sky and the tree i fail to understand how it hasn't fallen.
come with me to the river that once i fell in and prayed for gills to swim away and find the sea.
come with me to my room where i can make you a bit more real.

you have given me your memory. i will take you with me.

i
am born with an emptiness that is unable to be translated into words.
struggle
through nights without looking inwards for fear of never looking out.
without
knowing the best way to patch up this piecemeal pockmarked heart.
you
the planned escape route to run away with once it all turns to dust.

                                                  its funny how we always see the wrongs
                                                    just that moment too late.