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Shea Nov 2018
"Crane my neck and scratch my name"
You've drawn too close to me
You see,
You're a drug
I need a hit
A lick or sip
To satisfy my habit
Laugh at it
Or live it
Either way you've---

I need to change
And not blame
My silly problems
I know I've got em'
But no one else needs to know
Cause if they know
They seem to blame
Not the one at fault
But the one playing my game
Themselves
They forget
Their innocence in all of this
I don't want to hurt anybody
But it seems like I do
If I don't hold it in somehow
Then I will be the one who
Hurt everyone
And that---

I could keep dragging on
I could write a thousand lousy songs
To show you
Cause my actions never
Run the circle
I feel like a liar
Someone you despise or
Like a bug
Or feeding off of you
Like a parasite
I feel I might
Ask if you want me to leave
I know I love you,
But do you love me?
My worried soul
Needs to know--
Shea Nov 2018
I feel the shadows
running in to greet me
I feel me, my skin and bones
And growing old
I wonder
If this was ever real
I ponder
On why I was ever here
So tell me, will you play my game?
Cause I'm often sure that what I play
Is result of a dissociated state
Shea Nov 2018
I've never wished death on anyone
But you, you see
Hurt me too deep.

You never swallowed your pride
When you cut me

You decided to blame me
For your mistakes

Though everyday I pray that you Would go away,
Begging please on my knees toward God
You're a sickness no pill could ease
  Nov 2018 Shea
Jasmine dryer
love is a wonderful thing
it fills our hearts
with a feeling
a warm feeling
cant even describe it...

ha!

well on second thought, lets give this another go

love is terrifying
its something many people fail to show
it drives you to do things
irrational things
it can tear us all apart
oh-and it has!
sometimes love is just so sweet
other times its bitter and ****

you must know in order to love someone truly
you must be able to give yourself up to them
and thats hard
because us humans
are selfish
but to the few that do
give themselves up
does your partner do the same?
if not
do you feel that your the one to blame?
for those who don't-
who wont
give themselves up for their
significant other
do you feel guilty?
really think about it


it will make you become at war with yourself
for not being enough for that person
that you love
and you will try so hard to make them happy!

well lets see, raise of hands!

how many of you have you failed to love properly?
got a lil angry while writing this. it was supposed to be happy
Shea Nov 2018
X
Now I know you're okay,
Now I know you're fine
But I've lost a few friends before
And when I held your head I was afraid
To face the fact that one day
We'll split apart by age or death
And I was scared to lose my friend
I realized then that I still have you,
But it scares me when you do not reply to your name
It scares me to think that I could lose you any day
Today as I helped my friend as she was having a seizure, and I realized that this is real. I realized that even if I'm lucky enough to be her friend through adulthood, I could lose her at any point in my life.
Shea Oct 2018
There's a jury in my head
They fight when I'm in bed
They split and throw gavel
Travel from cerebral to people
And back again
My case has not been decided
Though they continue
And I won't sleep until they've left
Shea Oct 2018
I know you deserve
More than my offer
I don't think you can love me
I'm bad company
Poetry
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