Shea - Hello Poetry

Shea Oct 2018

I want you
There is no way to say
How much I need you
I always will
I need to feel you

#poetry

Shea Oct 2018

de-Cide

could not run too fast, or fast enough
could not wrIte or dive too deep
caNnot Explain to others what you'vE Done to me
in fear of what you will
apology accepted for the way you force me to
Happens too fast for mE to say no
that i don't accept the fact you've Lied to me
or accept the fact you have been Parasitic
to a young mind like mine
since day one you've tainted your lines
this "poem'' has no meaning, except the simple phrase
i need to get through. someone please.

Shea Oct 2018

Cerebral Doorway

Traveling through dunes of sand
You'll find in the dusty corners of my mind
There is a door
Behind that door
The Glory of God is no more
The water is gone
And the prayers we pray
Are not heard.
It's wooden and worn
The floorboards leak through my eyes
Through my fingertips, and through my mouth.
Why give this corner such power?
Cause this corner has power over me.
Defining lines and colors
Speaking little things to me
Hoping I go back.

#door #mind #create #sand #god

Shea Oct 2018

Momma

She left with no hesitation
The mesmerising fact of new life
Took her fancy.
March 21st, my birthday
The last day I saw you here
I had this fear
Some time before it happened.
Now I sit alone on the steps
With a stepmother
Hoping one day you receive help
Or come back
Because what I cry about at night
Is that you are not here
And I do not have a mother
To comfort me
The abuse I receive from others
Hurts too much to consider them
A mother.
I miss you, yet I know you're not Coming back.
I miss having a friend,
I miss having someone proud of me
I miss back rubs and good luck.
Though my whole life you've hurt me,
Like an only friend,
I want you in my life again.

#lonely #mother #family #friend #sad #depression

Shea Oct 2018

Autopilot

I wake up.
I took two pills before I blacked
I forgot I did,
I'm on autopilot.
You might worry,
The circles around my eyes
are a tell-tale sign
I assure you I'm not fine.
I am not in control of my life
I'm living in strife
everyone I know has left me
You see,
You don't see
And that's the thing
I don't want you to see
But why doesn't anyone see?

#trench #autopilot #jaded

Shea Oct 2018

Fox

I swallow my pride,
Followed by euphoria
It's glorious.
Speaking of it,
I've taken more than I need
And I've taken more than I should.
She asks if she can handle the seasons
of her life.
Can I?
I see shadows cross my room,
I spit my teeth in my dreams
Cause I'm nervous.
Nicotine doesn't give me the same buzz,
I've smoked too much.
My pills are running low,
I've got ten cents in my wallet.
What you want to call it,
call it.
For now,
I'll hide my addictions
with fake names
and tapes.

#broke #poetry

Shea Oct 2018

I still care about old friends

I thought we'd grow old
As if day one never left
The last time I saw you
You were wasted,
Trying to take care of your drunk girlfriend.
We were hiding in the closet
Ironic ain't it?
It was our last day in the ville
Little did I know it'd be our last time for real.
I heard you deceased from a phone call
Not too long after Taylor went to prison
Car wreck, accidental overdose
You lost control, and lost control of your habits
Lost too many people to the drugs
Seems like these days we're out of luck
She was your last word,
And yeah she's doing fine
She's got your name on her arm
But she ain't staying out of harm
The last time I saw her she was
Working for a dollar
Doing more drugs than a ******
Tried to ruin our relationships
And left all us behind
And I find the more I think of it
The worse it feels
for an old friend to be stuck out in the ville
In the streets
While I'm trying to pay my keep
And while the drugs work no more
And sing her soul to sleep
And the valley of her aging face
Say words I can't understand
So I don't understand why people have to leave
Or die
So as you fly, remind her tonight that you're here
And make sure she's fine
Cause she has left my side.