My bed lingers of cigarettes
And my head is reeling
It's too **** late to try to figure out what i'm feeling

Stupid little letters
Formed into stupid little words
That has a stupid little meaning
That we always don't mean
But there isn't a better way to express ourselves

I never really understood why people say music saves lives. But I do now. Ever since my dad told me to take my headphones out so he could talk to me. I was so angry and I felt like a child who just had their favorite toy taken away. I didn't realize how often I have been clinging on to my music ever since ...ya know...and it's really doing itself justice and making me feel better. When I don't want to be bothered by anyone music is here to comfort me and help me forget. It takes me to another world, of rhythm and beats and chords and for a while I'm isolated from everyone else and I couldn't be happier or anymore at peace.

It was nice
Very nice and intriguing
To see how our bodies work
to listen to your breathing

And your steady heartbeat
That mine sometimes became insynch
I tried to clear my mind
I attempted not to think

At that moment i was yours
I surrendered to your spell
I hope my smile proved it
I hope that you could tell

That I wanted you so badly
My heart beats were vast
My palms started to perspire
I just wanted it to last

At 3am I thought I couldn't live without you
But now at 5pm going the entire day without speaking to you
Is somewhat liberating and free
And reassuring bc ik I don't need anyone to make me whole

I can't formulate sentences
My hands are shaky
My palms sweaty
Hot salty tears fall from my eyes
My head is realing
I just want to throw up
And cry and throw a dish or two

The thought of my bare body against yours
Sends quivers down my spine
The thought of you with someone else
Hurts me because I claim you as mine

The thought of our tongues wrestling together
Makes me wish we could do it now
If i could i'd go on forever
In due time i hope to make a vow

The thought of you looking me in the eyes
And not just any ol way but
With the puppy dog looking smize
Leaving me speechless w/o anything to say

The thought of you inside me
Makes me almost faint
It wouldn't be just regular ***
We'd be making love point blank

Yes I'd be extremely nervous
But I know you'll be kind
And try to make it worthwhile
Since it would be my first time

The thought of us getting married
Seems a lot like a dream
A ring symbolizing that I'm yours forever
It'd mean the world to me

But as you know I tend to drift off a lot
These will probably never happen but it's just a thought