I am jealous of your life before.
Of all the fingers that have touched you,
And the ears that have heard you say
“I love you.”
I am jealous
Of all the parts of you I will never know,
Of all the years that I didn’t play a part in,
Of all the smiles that I didn’t cause.
I know I have no right to be,
I cannot claim every piece of you,
I cannot deny you a history,
I cannot be your everything.
But god knows, I want to be.
Because what if those ghosts of fingers
Still touch you?
What if you still hear the echoes
Of “I love you”s that tripped from tongues
Other than mine?
What if all those smiles,
Half remembered,
Make you long for lips you used to kiss?
What if,
What if,
What if.
I don’t know how to not be afraid
Of losing you.
I am scared that one day you will wake up,
And look at me,
And realise I am so hollow
And I have so little to give.
I am scared that you will realise
You are worth so much more
Than me.

I heard about a Chinese space station
that will crawl back to us
like a prodigal son,
bowing down to the earth
like an apprentice.
when will We crawl back
into the crust and sediment,
the bones of our bones,
and live in the empty ribs of a globe
that forgave us for the mess
we made in the kitchen?

I know we've never been "together."
I know you said to move on.
I tried to be fine with wading this weather,
But the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I'm resentful,
But you did treat me like I was special.
Lately has been so uneventful.
And I'm starting to think this isn't a game...

I get a little jealous when you look at other girls.
I know we're not together, but... You are my whole world.
I get a little jealous when you talk about them too.
It's because we're not together, but...
You told me that you liked me... You told me that you do.

Now, I'm not trying to be weird, but call me, I'd give you my time.
Actually, I'd give you everything, cuz I just want you to be mine.
When I got too lonely, I'd just stare at your photos--
Soundless replacements for you, who knows.

You said I'm obsessive—come on now, don't play.
You like it when I'm open, you preferred me this way.
You said we'd be great together, don't think I forgot.
I cherish every sweet thing you said, so my heart doesn't rot.

Now I've deleted all of your things, cuz I can't bear to see your face.
My prized possessions... I should've given you space.
Why wouldn't you make me yours, like you wanted to?
Now we're apart, now we'll both just be blue.
And now I regret this—now I really do.
True, I'm a little weird, but we're both crazy.
I know what you're afraid of; I know it isn't me.