Abandoned, left for self-determination.
Betrayed, sacrificed to inner demons.
Obliterated, a mind shattered beyond recognition.
Misheard, a brutal display of unspoken needs.
Iridescent, veiled feelings in one’s mind.
Nocturnal, midnights are the coldest.
Afterlife, we all get two.
Bent, once admired.
Lies, questionable.
Exasperated, done.

She is a Writer.
She writes of things that help others.
She writes for freedom.
She writes for fun.
Her style is unique in it's own right.
Her pens all drained.
Her thoughts expressed.
Not by violence.
Nor by explosion of the voice.
Just by paper, through pen.
She writes for friends.
She writes from life.
She writes for anyone who stops by.
She is a Writer.
An idea not at all new, but still as rare as ever.

I'm malleable, new dough.
I'm stained, old clothes.
I'm tainted, old soul.
I'm crashing, my life.
I'm thriving, my mind.
I'm something, nothing.
I'm safe, unfold the debate.
I'm happy, let the tears flow.
I'm grateful, surely this you know.
I'm disrespectful, to me we see different sides.
I'm thankful, soon we will all die.

At night I dream of hugging you.
Kissing you gently.
Keeping you warm during winter.
Dressing up lazily during the summer.
Laughing through the day.
Taking care of one another through our darkest days.

You're my aspirin.
My bottle of *****.
I get drunk off of your body.

You're a candle on fire.
You're the sway of the ocean.
A beautiful masterpiece.
When I wake up and you're not beside me.
I start to think out loud.

"This is because of society."
Nothing is wrong with this.
I only wish to cuddle you.
Make sure you feel loved.

I need you to know I care, that I would never leave you.

You're so cute when you have that messy hair....

You're the love of my life!
People are far too rude when it comes to these things.
No one even stops to think.....
If you can love a boy.
Then why can't I love one too?

When can I reach you?
A separate land.
A place unknown to our universe.
When can I feel you?
Your sweet embrace.
The tender feel of your hair.
When can we meet?
A longing; forgotten by man, unrivaled by lust.
When can we kiss?
The kind images projecting into my eye.
The stories I make in my mind.
When can I stop?
The barriers, walls separating our two kinds.
You are nothing but an image on a screen...
Yet you mean so much to me.

Depression is a black mass that swallows up the sun.
Depression is the lightless cavern in the sea.
Depression is the monster eating away at me.

I'm hanging onto you like a kitten on a branch.
Calluses appear on my hands like acne on a teen.
Sweat beating down my face, glistening against the sun.
Holding on takes too much.

There is no support system.
No beam.
No ground.
Nothing to lean on.
Holding on takes too much.

I watch you from down here listening to every word.
Hoping I hear you say my name.
I feel the weight on my body grow heavier and pull me down.
Holding on takes too much.

Falling, still gazing back up at you.
Hoping you catch me.
Hoping you notice me.
Hoping you care.
Holding on takes too much.

Depression. Dark and empty.
The only result of chasing you.
Depression the only result of needing you.
Holding on takes too much.

Recollecting on a paper ,
With the one you love,
Is hard to do and hard to fight.
The time comes when we must be strong.
Strong enough to remember when things were bad for us.

Relationships, family, even life in general.
We were meant to be happy and joyous, not hateful!
When memories creep up on us,
We acknowledge them and say "Hey!"
This may be hard and seem impossible
But we can only go as far as we paddle.
Be strong for us.
"Together we stand divided we fall."

We remember the emotions and mix them in our heads,
Wanting the emotions to be buried again.
I'd like to try over. Do everything right.
I want the chance to make him happy one more time.

~When midnight strikes it's a new day,~
~But yet it follows the mood of yesterday,~
~Yesterday's pains and worries we will carry.~
~Yesterday's shadow lingers and in it we wallow.~
~In the days that we seem to swallow,~
~Yesterday will always follow.~

Sometimes you must
HURT in order to KNOW
FALL in order to GROW
LOSE in order to GAIN
Because life's greatest lessons are learned through pain.

When you are at a mental high.
The fall is always too hard for one person to handle.
The landing is all too crushing to bear.
The hole you made is all too deep.
The falling never seems to stop.
The agony in your mind is all too real to set aside.
It's all too real to forget.
Happiness falling into the hands of Nothingness.
Light being smothered by the dark.
The eyes in the dark piercing your skin.
Burning a hole straight through your core.
But you can get past this.
You must open your eyes to see who is there.
You must open your eyes in the dark in order to see the light.

When the moonlight reaches my window at night,
I break down and start to cry.
It reminds me of when things weren't so bad.
When my life was filled to the brim with lies.
When all I had to do was color really bad.
Now a days I've seem to have forgotten,
How to enjoy the little things,
That I stand here idly watching.
I can't forgive myself for wrong actions done,
But neither can I forget about the lessons I've learned.
The moonlight causes these pains to surface,
each and every time I lay down for night.
It's not all that bad though,
No really it's fine,
Tortuous memories are just what I need to survive.

I dream of passion.
A fiery love.
A relationship full of electricity.
Too bad it's still only a dream.

I dream of men.
Imagine the perfect man.
Unrequited love changes in a instant.
A special moment for two of us.

I dream of women.
A cute girl that's perfect for me.
Cover ourselves with blankets at night.
Her warm embrace.

I dream of passion.
I see us as one.
In unexpected scenes.
I dream of me loving you.

There's a motor in me in need of oil.
It grinds and squeaks,
Like a turn table.
My gears are rusted and have stopped turning.
My brain is down and needing a surgeon.
There's no way to win when you live in doubt.
If it came down to it,
Who would you ****?
Who would you save?
Who would you allow to operate?
When will you switch out my batteries,
So I can move away?
When will I be able to detach from the puppet master's fingers?
I'm sick of this way of living, living by their rules.
Everyday obeying and going to school.
My life was simple without all this tech junk,
But now I'm on it 24/7 and I can't seem to get enough.

When my eyes shine there are tears threatening to fall.
When I smile there is a frown engraving itself onto me.
When I laugh there is a cry creeping into me.
I am a screen
When you look at me there's a crack.
When there's a crack there's a piece falling to the floor.
Crack.
When that piece shatters I'm less a person than I originally was.
When I appear happy there's a deep feeling of hatred within.
Crack.
Don't leave me stranded after the things you have seen,
instead stand by me and help me wash it off my skin.
Crack.

This is a poem about Lucy
She's thinkin' about someone
she loves
someone far away
someone who can''t help but think
about Lucy too
even in their hardest times
someone older then her
someone mentally ready for pain

Long distances love stretches through
far across the globe
never thinning even at the farthest distances
between shots the one across seas
will say "I'll come back for you.
I won't come back in a letter
I won't come back in a coffin
I'll come back
I'll come back in person
I'll come back to you alive."

Xavier is 15 he is in 10th
his mom is a veteran who knows her past
She was a mechanic in the gulf war
she was beaten down
and broke

Now every day she has to take ten different
pain killers, and two kinds of muscle relaxers
she is always in pain
her back is the main reason for this

Xavier asked his mom to get something for him
She leaned and dropped to the floor
and said
"Sorry Xavier, I'm hurting too much. We'll have to leave."
Xavier frowned and pouted
he looked down at his mother's face
she was on the brink of tears
he bucked and lifted his mom
and took her to the car

there she took more pain killers and a ibuprofen
she sank down into the car seat
her became calm and sighed before he opened the door
he handed her the credit card
and started the car
he drove her to the Va
where they gave her more pain killers
and  prescribed her more
and more pain killers

Our Veterans and Active members of the Military
are the reason for our freedom
the reason for our living
they gave us this gift
and Veterans day just isn't doing it
we shouldn't just thank
and support them around this day
Veterans day should be every day
It's sad we can't that happen, even after all they've done

As my eyes grow weary
My body starts to fall
I know now
that I need sleep
So tomorrow I can
be headstrong

Isn't it funny how similar
Computer viruses are to
a broken heart.
The longer you hold on to them
the worse they seem to get

Or how similar a
crashed ship is to a
broken girl
Both were once beautiful
in everyone's eyes

Or how the outside of a person
is the same as a costume
A costume to look like someone else
A costume to shield yourself
from your own hatred

Or could it be that all these
similarities are merely a
Frankenstein like doll
Put together like stich work

Or is it actually true?
Just as true as the sky
Just as true as the soft hum
of a mothers' song

Whether it's true or not doesn't
matter to me
as long I have the strength
to put down this
heart shaped glass
and face the true reality
of my heart.

He was the best one I've ever had
He was my only
and the only thing I had
He was my lover my pride and joy
He said such nice things
to me day and night
He wanted me to himself
All to him
Not family not friends
Not even his friends
He lied and cussed me out
He lied and cheated on me
Why did I stay?
He broke up with me without my doing wrong
I cried all night long
He tore my heart out again, and again
He broke up with me if I didn't
like what he liked
He broke up with me if
I didn't stay the night
And yet I still stayed with him
We got back together and I loved him
I loved him so much even
When he hit me again
Why is it that I loved him so much
He hit me and bruised me
Why is it that I loved him so much?
Even though
He beat me every-day continuously
For a year and four months
I loved him so much till he broke me
I could never acknowledge him
The same way again.
My friends were there for me
Each and every time
Every-time I'd start to cry

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?

My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl
My girl

I've got so much honey, the bees envy me
I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?

My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl
My girl
Ooh

Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Yeah

I don't need no money, fortune or fame
I got all the riches baby, one man can claim
Well, I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?

My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl
My girl

When life gives you lemons
You make lemonade but what do you do
when life hands you sorrow
and confusion
I don't know
Do you know?
What do I do when the one
I love forgets all
About me?
What do I do when my friends
Always have my back
But I second guess
Having theirs'?
Am I supposed to feel bad or
Feel delighted?
Should I succumb to my emotions
Or dominate over them?
All these questions
Without a single answer
Well I guess that's fine
For the time being