I told you no
But you said yes
And now some nights are filled with unrest
I guess
I should feel blessed
Because I'm alive
I mean sure my lifes a mess
And I can't get you out of my head
And sometimes
I wish you were dead
I don't let people touch me
Unless I've had a drink
And I can't think
So I don't remember
And what you took
I can never get back
And that's something
I hate that fact

You're gone
And I'm mad
Sad
Frustrated
Lonely
I miss you
And heres another birthday gone
7 years
And it has been so long
And yeah
I'm crying
Still playing back you dying
While everyone here is making a big deal
And all I want for my birtbday
Is one last meal

I am excited
I swear
But every year
Im getting closer
And it scares me
I want a time machine
To go back and look at my life
I want to see every birthday
I ever had
But mostly
I just want to see my dad

Its been years
And your voice seems so far away
It's been years
And your hug feels faint
Its been years
And I miss you everyday
Its been years
But the pain doesn't go away
And life isn't the same
I miss you with ALL of my heart
And it skips a beat
Now that we are apart
Life isn't the same
And its been years

I'm in the bar
With all my friends
We're smiling
Laughing
Drinking
Telling stories
Sharing opinions
It's a great night
I'm trying to say something
But I get interrupted
I'm trying to say something
But I get interrupted
I'M TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING
but i get interrupted
The night goes on
The bar is full
People are getting louder
Trying to talk over the next loud person
My friends and I go outside
We are laughing
Telling jokes
Singing
Cheers go on and on
I try to say something
But I get interrupted
I try to say something
But I get interrupted
I TRY TO SAY SOMETHING
but i get interrupted
The night is coming to an end
People are leaving
Tabs are being paid
Some aren't ready to go
Other are tossed
My friends and I plan are next move
Some say come to my place
Others have work
Some are going for a walk
I try to say something
And my friend says what
I look down
Forgetting what was so important
I look up
"Oh nothing, it was just a bit crowded in there, thats all"
We all laugh in agreement

You look tired
My mom says to me after a long day with no sleep
You look sad
Says my brother
After crying my heart out because my favorite character on t.v died and yeah im sad
You look beautiful says my dad
On my way to my 8th grade dance
I have a new dress on and my make-up looks amazing
So yeah I do look beautiful
You look happy say everyone of my friends
Well I want you to think I am
So yeah
I look happy.

****
Yes I said it
Because **** isn't Voldemort
He who shall not be named
And I'm not a victim
I'm not ashamed
I can say ****
And talk about it too
**** isn't a bad word
**** is Bad to do
The word **** didn't take away what was mine
The word **** didn't "forget" to ask this time
The word **** didn't make me take a hot shower because
God I feel gross
I feel like I'm a ****
I feel like it's all my fault
I feel like **** didn't do that at all
**** is a word that people
Who haven't been forced to do something I said no to
Tip toe around
Because "****"  might be a trigger word
When I say ****
Why do your eyes fall down
Why did my mom teach me to yell
Fire!
Instead of ****
I feel like you can see a fire
But you can't hear my fate?
Why is **** such a bad word
Can we talk about **** the way that we should