I don’t know what scares me more
You wanting to know my secrets
Or my willingness to share them

Building trust
Is like building a house of cards
One wrong move
And everything we built
Is destroyed
Our cards are on the table now
Shall we attempt to rebuild?

Some nights when I lay in bed
I think about what my future will look like
Other nights I wonder
If I want to be here to find out

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But my anxiety
Will **** me first

i
girls with guard dogs at spike-heeled feet
lips to kiss fire, still semi-sweet

ii
dirt black coffee on a fine tipped tongue
and spiderwebs only half unspun

iii
dead roses in flowercrowns and tangled thorns
and white bedsheets, handcuffs, lingerie unworn

iv
tempest springtime to summer’s rest
and flowers of lovers laid on deathbeds

I watched as you took you took your first step,
I watched as you stepped up to your first day of school.
I watched as you stepped up to bat
I watched as stepped up to being a teen
I watched as you took a step to your first date
I watched as you stepped up to receive your diploma
I watched as you took a step out of my house
I watched as you stepped up to adulthood
I watched as you took a step down the aisle
I watched as you took a step to hold your first child

And now from my bed, I see you step up close to me
as I take my last step to sleep.
I have watched you take your first step,
and now this one will be my last.