You changed entirely from last Thursday
And I don’t know why
Maybe it’s for the best
A kiss from me is a harbinger of death

There is nothing
***
cannot fetch for me!

I open my eyes
I touch God
I see stars
I see the dark
everything fits
I shake
at your touch

Like a gulp of loaded water
Like a violent flash
Restoring the chaos
in my heart
Everything in place
supernovas - through the maze

It's your love
It's the power I've got
It's the world
channeled below

Laying in an ice cold room,
IV in my hand,
I close my eyes and plead with god
Trying to understand .

" im sorry we cant save it ,
But theres a chance that you could die;
I know your in a lot of pain
And Its ok to cry ".

I feel my husband squeeze my arm,
Im trembling in fright  ,
Im sad and im defeated
And I dont have that much fight .

" Your bleeding into your belly
We need to operate right now ,
Continue to be strong for us "...
.....But i just dont know how.

A foggy conversation ,
And their whisking me away ,
My eyelids get real heavy
And i just start to pray.

Waking up to quiet ,
Im tired and im sore ,
Depressed without a baby
On the maternity floor.

God must have a plan for me
That i just can not see ;
Even through our struggles
Whats meant to be ...
Will be .

The girl in the room beneath
Before going to bed
Strums on a mandolin
The three simple tunes she knows.
How inadequate they are to tell how her heart feels!
When she has finished them several times
She thrums the strings aimlessly with her finger-nails
And smiles, and thinks happily of many things.

The youth walks up to the white horse, to put its halter on
and the horse looks at him in silence.
They are so silent, they are in another world.

XLIV

Beloved, thou hast brought me many flowers
Plucked in the garden, all the summer through
And winter, and it seemed as if they grew
In this close room, nor missed the sun and showers.
So, in the like name of that love of ours,
Take back these thoughts which here unfolded too,
And which on warm and cold days I withdrew
From my heart’s ground. Indeed, those beds and bowers
Be overgrown with bitter weeds and rue,
And wait thy weeding; yet here’s eglantine,
Here ’s ivy!—take them, as I used to do
Thy fowers, and keep them where they shall not pine.
Instruct thine eyes to keep their colors true,
And tell thy soul their roots are left in mine.