There once was a fella from France
Who'd dance a libidinous dance:
     He'd focus the eyes
     Of the club on his thighs,
Then dance himself out of his pants.

There once was a gal named Alvina,
A registered nurse at a gyne-
     cological practice
     Who brought in a cactus
That jumped on a naked ******.

There once was a methhead named Seth
Who banged a whole kilo of ****
     And proceeded to beat off
     And beat all his meat off
And beat off to methheaded death.

There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
     To ****** an udder
     While churning his butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Who'd eat a whole 18-piece bucket
     Of KFC chicken
     (His fingers a-lickin')
And as for the soda, he'd **** it.

The changing seasons are not more changefull
Then my mistresse; neither more vengefull
Is the wooing autumn wind that seduceth
A singing mood afore it blasteth
With bitter colde, angry and disdainfull.
Her scorne is lyke a scorpion sting painfull
In my sad heart wich bleedeth for banefull
Her who presently nowe observeth
          The changing seasons.
Her cruell scorne capricious entiseth
My heart to dispaire; itt dispaireth
Dailye and dieth from disese carefull.
Her scorne doth make my harte most woefull,
And so my smartyng heart despiseth
          The changing seasons.

There once was a sneezer named Rose
Who'd sneeze to the tips of her toes.
    She once sneezed so heinous
    She puked out her ****
And blew out her brains through her nose.