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Melissa Holland Apr 2019
Do I wish to think?
To dream the unimaginable.
The mind of a viper;
Ambitious swipe towards intent.

Yet, its possessed fangs drip,
Such venom. A gradual drip would
Destroy the work.
“What work?” I hear you ask.

“Exactly” I whisper.
There is none to behold. With all my gall
And flapping gums, such spittle
Did not exist.

I crave to bite the apple of my existence…
Lingering doubt, lingering hope.
Can I foresee the future?
Can I not think?

Sigh

To exist with intent…
Wanting so much to do, create and be something, telling people you will or you want to, yet not fulfilling that wish nor making strides to achieve that dream is something I think a lot of people feel at some point
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
  Mar 2019 Melissa Holland
Alex
I am broken
I've finally snapped
What was holding me together
Is almost gone
Though I thought it may stick forever
I am broken
I feel the pain
My past thoughts have become vain
The way I feel, is considered
Inconsiderate
The way I act, is that of a broken man
This was not my plan
To be in agony
I don't want to deal with it angrily
I feel trapped by the gravity
In this hell ridden galaxy
I start to see the vanity
Of this reality
My anger and insanity
My depression and my humanity
It's all been revealed
I may never be healed
I am broken
My words are now outspoken.
Melissa Holland Mar 2019
A wish upon a star,
That does not exist
Only in my head,
I will persist.

A night after day,
I gaze at the sky.
At my wish upon a star,
A star sparkling so high.

I may have my doubts, still
At least I will hope.
That my wish will one day come true
But for now, I will cope.
The very first poem I wrote.
  Feb 2019 Melissa Holland
V
I sought comfort in the arms of strangers and suddenly became a stranger to myself.
Be careful how much of yourself you give.
All my life I have prioritized others instead of myself every time.
Be it money, time, help, giving, and love.
I love humanity more than myself, and more than often...I have ignored the pain of being used or taken advantage of.
I hate admitting to myself that I need to take care of myself too, just because it feels selfish.
But after helping so many, there came a point where I looked around and asked myself, "Who am I?"

Helping others...
But I lost a lot of energy and used my years building other people instead of my own.

I really hope this doesn't sound arrogant.
Because it's literally the last thing I care to be.
Melissa Holland Feb 2019
The water edge laps at my feet.
I cannot imagine the depth of its reach,
Nor can I fathom the whole body ****** out before the horizon.

There is something alluring about the freshness of it all.
Caress against my thighs, the wetness
Wrapping around my limbs.

Let me mingle,
With your murky waters...
May I touch your bed?
Coarse at first until I mold it into my desire.

The airy hole keeps me afloat.
Please be patient, for my lack of it is withholding me.
Benign ache lingers, that needs to dissolve...

Seeking only the shallow end for now, where the warmth can never leave.
I may drown if I go further...
A chance of worth do you see?
Any feedback about layout or general poetic insight will be appreciated!

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