I tried to scare him away with the cruelty that breathes in the world
The cruelty that had groped me
He didn't run as I had hoped
I felt a sudden disappointment and then a strange kind of happiness seeped into my skin
The kind I did not understand

Seven months later I sit with myself and smile at that memory
He didn't need something like that to drive him away
Time could do that just fine.

I know I don't want to in my life
Because when I think of you,

I think of pain.

Death is like you,
silent, cold, and
doesn’t love me back

If you are death
then I long to be dead

Vo ek mahine phle se birthday ki excitement is saal thodi kam thi
Birthday ke din bhi birthday bali feeling thodi kam thi.
Ab mai shayad childish se thodi matured ** gayi thi.
.
Har saal ki tarah is saal mom dad se kisi mehenge se gift ki zid nhi ki thi.
Unke dil se diye aashirwaad ki khushi hi bahut thi.
Ab mai shayad childish se thodi matured ** gayi thi.
.
Bachpana jane mai vaqt thoda jyada lag gya.
Jimmedariya samjhne mai vaqt thoda jyada lag gya.
16 saal ki ** gayi thi, thodi badi ** gayi thi.
Ab mai childish se thodi matured ** gayi thi.
.
Ghar ki problems samjhne lagi thi.
Ab thoda hi sahi magar sahi aur galat mai pehchan ne lagi thi.
Ab mai childish se thodi matured ** gayi thi.
.
Jo phle papa ke paise dosto ke sath udaya karti thi.
Aaj papa ke sapne pura karna chahti hu.
Ab mai childish se thodi matured hoti ja rhi hu.
Ab mai childish se thodi matured hona chahti hu......

~your smiling queen :)

He carries bits of stars in his veins
And they illuminate the night sky beside me.
I often tremble out of fear
But his eyes flicker in dark and guide me.

He paints a ray of sunshine through his smile
Although he endure agony but lied me.
He carries ointment of love in his heart
That heal the straches of my soul and delight me.

     ~your smiling queen :)

everything is on fire around us
and soon we will catch
just give me a little more happiness
before we fall in flames

I created a world —
enough,
for my loved ones to enjoy
but then —
they started to leave,
then my world became flooded with questions —
was it really enough at some point
or maybe —
someone else's world was far better than mine

I’m no stranger to rejection
I only need to hear no once
And I can accept it...

... to a certain extent

Just know if you’re rejecting me
I’ll take your answer seriously
But I’ve already crafted a fantasy in my mind
Where you’ve said yes a thousand times