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 Apr 2016 Lopz
Little Bear
I never professed to be pretty
certainly not beautiful
and okay so...
babies don't actually cry when they look at me
But..
I know what I am
what I look like
you don't have to remind me
Yes.. I'm awkward
I mess up my words
I'm shy until I know you a little better
But..
Do you notice I find it hard to look you in the eye?
I thought not
Do I wish the ground would swallow me whole
more than once a day?
You bet
So.. I'm not really comfortable in my own skin
I know that..
But I refuse to have a thick skin
to man up and to take it on the chin
with or with out a pinch of salt
I refuse to be like you
I don't want to be hard hearted and cynical
and I also don't want to brush off your comments
like they are nothing to me
Because every word you said
every thing you implied
I have thought of myself too
all the time
everyday
And if what you said hurts me
then so be it
But that also means I am not like you
I would rather be me
awkward
self conscious
scared
a great big bag of what if's
But ultimately happy
I care
I want to do better
I love
I am soft
I have passion and dreams
(okay, so weird ones sometimes)
but I won't make fun of you
and if I like you I will tell you
and I will remind you that I love you
You don't know what I have seen
and have been through
You don't know what happened to me
because you don't know me at all
So don't judge me on what you see
judge me on what you know
And by what I know of you
I'm just glad I am me
I wrote this a few years ago.
I was on  a bus and there were
some very unkind things being said
by some other people on the bus.
Not just to me but to other passengers.
I came home and wrote this.
I just needed to write it out.
The sad thing is..
this is still relevant.
 Apr 2016 Lopz
DaSH the Hopeful
Hypnosis*
     Comatose so close to death
   Another dose of coldness swept away all my regret
Some die by the sword of vengeance, others by respect
                I myself will die calm and ready, **steadying my breath
 Apr 2016 Lopz
Dhaye Margaux
I hugged you.
You kissed her.
A written exercise.
 Apr 2016 Lopz
Aeerdna
hiding
 Apr 2016 Lopz
Aeerdna
restless every day
i fear the light,
i fear their faces
my heart beating fast at night
won't let me calm my brain.

i will hide in a cocoon
letting the waves of my mind
crush against every thought
driving me insane
never becoming a butterfly
never flying in the light
or i will build a tree house
and hide in there
until I die
or
until You find me.
 Apr 2016 Lopz
XIII
Awooo!
 Apr 2016 Lopz
XIII
I cannot put your beauty into words..
Like a wolf that can only howl to its moon.
 Apr 2016 Lopz
Marshie The Mellow
In you, I trust
but leave you, I must
this is all just too much
you left me with my heart to clutch
My insides tumble
your name, I mumble
You left me like a wreck
and got me like what the heck?
Expectations, *expectations
, expectations
You were supposed to be my inspiration
but all you ever was my expectation
Now leave you, I must
In you, I no longer trust
You broke it with your own hands
for you only show up with demands
I was never a friend to you
because you're only here when YOU feel blue
You kept trying to convince me that it's true
that you actually care
but here I am saying "It's not fair."
because I can't say no to that look on your face
You always change the pace
I guess it's time
I no longer believe that this will ever sublime

Leave you, I must
*In you, I no longer trust
 Apr 2016 Lopz
XIII
Learning to love yourself
is the greatest love of all.
Because it is the hardest love to learn.
 Apr 2016 Lopz
Little Bear
Where are you?
I am here my love
and I'm not leaving
it's so quiet
I can't hear you
I wont leave you to the silence
I won't leave you
I am here
where am I?
You are here with me
let me take you home
I won't leave you to fight this battle alone
I will fight with you
I have to go
No.. don't go into the silence with out me
Take me with you
Don't go in to the silence alone
I will bring you home
Don't leave me..
My love
I'm not leaving you
for the demons to feast
Where am I ?
Can you hear me?
I am here
I am here
I am strong enough for us both
I will carry you
just let me take your hand
and I will take you home
I'm frightened
my sweet child
my broken child
lost in the wilderness
I will find you
I am here
I can't seem to find
my way home
just open your eyes my love
look and see
I will save you
I promise
But how can you save me?
Because that's all I know how to do
I will bare the silence
and the raging noise
I will take your place
I will take your place
Please find me
*.. I am lost

I know you are lost
but I will find you
Please
my child
my love
please take my hand
let me take you home
Children with anxiety and depression
sometimes can't find their way 'home.'
You have to show them the way.
 Apr 2016 Lopz
Marshie The Mellow
Let me ink away your entirety
Explain every detail of you in a poetry
State the wonders of your personality
And let me bid you goodbye
As I let that paper with my poetry fly
I'll finally set you free as I cry
I hope one day we'll pass by each other
In some other place at a different time
When the pain finally decided to sublime
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