flowers and bright and light and love,
so much love,
and the people that i would die for in less than a heartbeat.
so much love and smiles.
this dark room holds so much light that feels like hope when it touches my heart.
and you,
you are the stars and beautiful autumn days.
you are loving and living inside every action i do,
i do it all for you.
this life doesn't seem scary right now.
and this pearl aqua color that consumes the blood in my veins in the most beautiful way.
i'm alive and i'm breathing and in this moment,
there is no hurt.
in this moment,
there is no worry or fear of what's to come.
my life, right here, right now,
is flowers and aqua blue and love and warmth and life and
love.

It’s been a while

But it doesn’t feel that long

Though so much has changed

I’m still back at the beginning

Still alone

But this time

I have someone to miss

laying in your bed
talking about my past
you unwrap my wounds

so easily
so gracefully

thank you

why do i crumble
fall into pieces of
oats and sugar
something beautiful
in a white bowl, but
a mess on the floor
when i wake up
in an empty house
why do i wither like
brown leaves
under brand new and
borrowed boots atop
autumn sidewalks
when i’m alone,
i’m alone,
i’m alone
it is not enough
to eat breakfast
however small
to wash my hair with
coconut milk
to not step out into
the busy street;
i freeze before the ice
touches me
i do not allow
the chance to warm
my own hands
i lie down, on
***** sheets,
and wait for someone
anyone
anything
to awaken me

i'm tiptoeing around the fine lines
holding my breath, silently
my fingers trace the boundaries
i am too close for comfort
circling the forbidden with my fingertips
i am so close to falling in love with you

in the sand, with a stick
you draw a line to keep us apart
but the sun burns too strong
to keep me from you
i test the water with my feet
too hot, too cold; just right
i am so close to falling in love with you