I stopped checking for monsters under the bed,
when I realized they were inside all of us instead

No one can know your pain
Not nearly as well as yourself
But the rope won't take it away
It just gives it to someone else

Mia, Max

     I know that you wanted to wait because of the girl scout thing  I'm fine with that I'm not fine with the fact you might not like me after 3 years of waiting for me to graduate if I even maybe  it that long I'm not saying ill **** myself but most likely it was an accident. I hate the fact that you will find someone new and I'm in the background waiting for you because I want to be happy, you make me happy I know this poem sounds bad but I'm willing to wait

I want you happy if it's not with me then ill support you ill even go to the wedding if it's not ours I will be happy but a little broken but happy you make my days feel like my life is going to be okay and I will be happy for you for whatever you choose with me or someone else

Let's pretend we are not in love

And go on walking

So I can fall for you

All over again

Hello my name is Anorexia
I will make you an obsessive freak
You will hate yourself
I will make you hungry and weak

I will turn your meat to bones
You will lose excessive weight
You must be super skinny
Food you must hate

Skinny is perfect
So your diet is strict
You live struggling
Because you are an addict

Do not eat breakfast
The scale numbers matter
Do not eat lunch
Do not get fatter

I promise to make you beautiful
I am your best friend
I will make you so skinny
Even if your life might end

He acts like a player
                                      She's a cheerleader
                                                     ­                     He hits up all the girls
She's the one everyone wants
                                                       He goes home at night
                                                                ­                                  She avoids home
He likes his best friend
                                           She skips a meal
                                                            ­                He just wants to stop hiding
She just wants to be thin
                                               He comes out as gay
                                                             ­                          She no longer eats
He's beat up by his 'friends'
                                                    She­ collapses during class
                                                           ­                                           He's in the ER
She's in the OR
                               His skull caved in
                                                                ­  Her heart is starved
                                                                ­                                          
He wakes up with amnesia
                                                     She remembers it all
                                                                ­                
He dies to brain damage
                                                She starves to death

This all started with one comment. A whisper in the halls. Something about her size.

He just wanted to be himself, but they didn't want him there.

I have a friend named Ana.
She made me be like her.
She tells me what to eat,
When I eat that is.
For most day she tells me,
"You don't need food to live,
All you need is to be skinny
Other wise you won't be pretty
And no one likes the ugly girls."
She taught me how to fix myself,
And now I stay on her tallest shelf.
She has glued me to my seat
And told me that I cannot eat.
For if I eat then my thighs,
Will massively grow in size.
She told me I can never leave
And now I'm stuck with her screams.
She taught me how to be like her
And I'm afraid there is no cure.
Now I sit and remember her words,
"No one likes the ugly girls."
Then I realise suddenly
Ana isn't her,
It's me.

She’ll be lovely. You’ll be able to count the spaces in between her ribs. She’ll have thin skin and it’ll be so easy to drive her crazy with just a single touch. It’ll be easy to make your mark on her, too. She’ll bruise easy and love it. She’ll think it’s beautiful.

2. She won’t ever be expensive on dates because all she’ll order is a salad. You’ll never have to worry about her ordering an expensive steak. You might have to worry about emergency room bills when she passes out, but she’ll never ask for anything else. All she’ll want is ***** and sleeping pills.

3. She will always put you first. Your needs always come before hers because she was raised “God first, others second, I am third”. She’ll make you hot chocolate and drive to your house at 3 AM with pizza she won’t eat, even though she’s dead tired and all she wants is a good night’s rest. You can count on her to be there.

4. She will tell you that you are perfect. She’ll believe it, too. Everyone around her seems to be perfect and she’s drowning under the weight of mediocrity but it’s ok as long as you know how perfect you are.

5. She’ll always have scissors and pencil sharpeners on hand. The knives in her kitchen are always sharpened to perfection and if you forget your razor at home, it’s ok. She has extras in her closet.

6. She’ll ******* anytime you want. As long as you don’t look at her while she’s getting undressed, she’ll love you until she can’t breathe anymore. She’ll smile as you kiss her thighs because you’re the only one that makes her feel beautiful.

7. Date a girl who hates herself because she’ll love you.

Why don't you eat?
Simple question, right?
You'd expect a simple answer that's not what you did though.
So, why don't I eat?
I'm tired, I'm tired of not feeling good enough.
I'm tired of looking like this.
I'm tired of wanting to be one of those skinny ones.
When you look at me what do you see?
I see myself and I see fat.
I see not good enough.    
I see not skinny enough.
I see ugly.
So why is it that I don't eat?
I want to lose weight.
I want to be one of the skinny ones.
I want to fit in.
I want someone to notice how much weight I'm losing.
I want someone to notice me.
You eat and think nothing of it.
I eat and I think about how I'm going to have to work it all off.
How I must get rid of it, I must not eat, how it's not worth it.
So, I don't eat.
I say I'm not hungry, in my head I say I'm not good enough.
I step on the scale and see as lost weight.
I get happy, it doesn't last though.
I want to lose more.
I go days without eating trying to lose weight, I pass by mirrors and keep my head down, afraid to see how I look.
Afraid to see I'm not losing weight fast enough.
I eat something small and feel guilty, thinking something small will only make me gain weight.
There are days when I want to eat, I want to give up and eat a huge meal.
I have to get past the urges.
Telling myself that I don't need to eat.
A ******* here and a ******* there, a glass of water to keep myself alive.
I run into my body hurts, until I can't breathe.
As the days go by my body gets weaker and weaker, it gets harder to focus, I wake in the middle of the night wanting food.
I tell myself I don't need it.
I tell myself that losing weight is worth more than food.
So, why don't I eat?