Fighting. I cannot ******* stop fighting this.
Waking up smiling, not clutching at my chest
willing the pain to go away.
What happened to that gaping hole he left me trying to fill?
What happened to the shattered heart and
broken soul he left me with?
I don't remember fixing myself,
I don't even remember wanting to be fixed.
What have you done? What are you doing to me?
I'm smiling, dancing in the rain again.
I gotta stop this before you leave,
once again abandoning me unable to breathe.
I cannot stop fighting this.

Before there was you
There was him.

He didn't love me though,
He just shattered me.
Pieces of me still line these rust stained floors.
I never asked to be put back together,
But yet here you are
Stringing me back with your thread.

Soon you may learn
I'm not quite worth this.

Because before there was a you
There was a him.

Loving you loving me
Is this a dream?
I have you here
But I can tell you want to be there.
You savaging soul
Just go.
But I'll still be here
Loving you loving me
Wishing this was just a dream.

You are this overpowering element that is quickly becoming my sole undoing.
Watching you watch her
I can't breath.
You stand there while I stand here
begging you
to take away my pain
I'm so consumed in everything you
Who's so entangled in everything her.
You're actions promise falsities
As yours words lose their meaning
Cuz your eyes show your lies,
I guess
You never really were mine.

Snorting, Coughing, Drowning the pain
when did I resort to such a shame?
I thought you changed but really
I've just been drained.
I struggled, I fought, thought I could
hold you back.
claws just dug too deep
you ripped my seams. I thought
his thread could hold me together
he's proven to be too weak. These
burning sensations will have to do, I'll just
keep on crushing, keep on pouring, keep on numbing
the rest of this **** is
only a dream,
cause I now have no seams.