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I suppose it's better that way.
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So I wouldn't try to say "Hey"
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A hole grows larger in my heart.
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This is absolutely tearing me apart.
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I'm sustained by the memories I keep.
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And by the dreams that haunt me in my sleep.
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I hope you're doing alright.
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And that someone is appreciating you, holding you tight.
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I think of you from time to time and of how I'd ask you to pass the wine, before our lips joined together as one, your dark to my light, ying and yang, intertwined.

I think of you lesser now, of only how your fuzz had felt, upon my chin and against my cheek, our hearts never had a chance to fully meet.

I think of you, a vague memory of what it felt like to be in lust, not in love but so passion consumed it swelled and bust.

I don't want to admit that I think of you now, because of how our trist fell out.
It was dark and gruesome and nothing like the butterflies that used to carry me off the ground, but instead a sludge that sunk my feet and pulled me deeper in over my crown.

You're a memory of grief buried deep, but out from the mud I have bloomed again, a flower for the moths to pollinate and spread my love to those who hate.

Honestly, I think I just want ***.
So please ignore my texts.
I don’t miss you, I miss the way you feel.
I don’t miss your smile, I just miss it having me as a meal.
I miss the primal nature in which we rolled around, the heat radiating off our bodies, not the memories we never found.
Honestly, I think I just want ***.
So please just ignore my texts,
I don’t miss you, I miss the way you feel,
I miss your hands all over me, not when we’d hold them together casually.
I don’t miss you, I just want ***.
So please don’t ignore my texts,
Come over and please me,
Don’t stick around in bed, just pull up your pants and leave.
I don’t miss you, I just want ***.

How are you so perfect?
Is all I seem to think.
I'm broken, hurt, alone, and being pushed right to the brink.
I'm looking up at this midnight sky,
With no one to talk to, just wondering "why?"
why didn't it work out?
Why aren't you here with me?
Listening to this music and kissing passionately.
I came here to socialize, but instead I'm sitting alone, in the dark, outside.
The vibrations running through me, aren't anything like what they used to be.
I'm numb on 18 percent,
Hoping the stars will help me to vent,  
I wish I could go inside and enjoy the music but when I hear the music I just can't help but to think of your style and your fingers running so passionately across the strings
I destroyed this poem.
But you remained.

Peonies are pink,

your words were unloving, 

Much like a rose, 

you were deceptive and cunning.

Upon embracing your beauty,

my tender flesh was transfixed,

and as my ichor seeped out,

I began to go limp.

My precious petals wilted 
and flit unto the ground.

Back to the earth, for your roots to redound. 

All of my love and all of my spirit.

I will leave to you,
my darling.

My dearest. ~

“Just as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
You forewarned me, so I guess it was really my fault that I ended up so lonely.
“
We never had a reason to hang out in the first place.” You said

So I guess those past months of interest were all in my head? 

“I had no idea what was going on ‘till this morning…I just wanted to make you happy…I’m sorry…”

But you couldn’t even keep your word.
Never mind the things I heard. 

You were unreliable from the start, but I ignored the warnings to follow my heart.

Like when you said,

“I promise he’s not a dangerous person…”

But how would you know?
You were drunk…
passed out…
worthless.

When he leaned in to kiss me and I said no and tried to push him away.
“
You’re in my ******* house” he spat and pushed down so I couldn’t escape.

Clasped his hand over my mouth,

I couldn’t let a single word out.

Pulled down my dress and put his hand on my chest, 

Until I managed to reach my hand down , 
Pull out my mace, then he freaked out.

I tried to wake you up, but you just mumbled and stayed slumped.

I was so scared. 

And you couldn’t do anything even though you were right there. 

…

I don’t know how I feel about redemption, how anyone can do such vile things and claim it wasn’t their true intention? 

“He says he’s sorry and he didn’t mean to come off that way…” 
That’s ******* *******, I should have knocked him in his god-forsaken face.

“You’re a ******* brat. I know you hate him, but that’s my brother, and as much as you’re worth, you can’t try to act reasonably justified in tearing a family apart.”

When you said that, just know you ripped a hole in my heart.