We're a sad starving bunch

of stupid teenagers

sipping from the sky

an occasional rain drop.

We're a sad starving bunch

of secret-keeping teenagers

shrieking to the sky

the phantom growing pains and all too real slowness of our sappy lives.

We're a sad starving bunch

of sanguinary teenagers

shooting our brains toward the sky

attempting to sacrifice ourselves for something more serene.

funny how a childhood game can be so insiteful,
so full of irony and shadows,
teaching a young version of us,
words borne from ignorance lead to gallows,
but many didnt listen,
many couldnt see,
that what's just a game to them,
is reality to me.

inhale;

you are strong
you are powerful
you are admirable

you are different
you are intelligent
you are exquisite

you are beautiful
you are talented
you are loved

exhale;

you are enough.

t.m.

my ears that once peaked
now go without motion
bones that now creak
move without a single notion

the lively tracks that once were
are broken melodies on a disc
but the memories of her
just can't be whisked

those hazel eyes
i once longed to see
have simply cut their ties
and no longer stare back at me

the hardest goodbyes
are the ones in vain
with untold lies
and two hearts of strain.

heart soars
stomach drops
mind races;
the sense of sweet delirium
that accompanies
even the slightest of touch

eyes meet
cheeks flush
gentle grins;
the high that takes
forever to come down from
even in the tiniest of moments

hands entwined
heartbeats synced
thoughts shared;
the simplistic nature of
happiness between two people
when they connect

t.m.

I have always been alive.
Before i was born, i was inside my parents.
A possibility, destined to become creation.
Before my parents, it was their parents.

I will always be alive.
When i die, i will decompose.
The rock cycle will rejuvinate the earth i occupy.
I will become one with the ever loving earth.

Matter is neither created nor destroyd.
Life is never taken nor given.
Why stay hurt, beat down, broken, when i can become something much bigger?

That I'm cute
Beautiful
Pretty

And I tell them that
It's okay that I'm not
Because I know I'm not
But I don't like being lied to

I know I'm not
Because I can't let tears
Drip down my cheeks
As they shimmer in the dim light
Of the movie credits

I sob until
My face is red and damp and puffy
And I'm clinging to your sleeve
And just crying so uncontrollably
That people sitting next to us
In the dark theater
Might glimpse over to see if maybe
I have a reason to cry so hard.

Does shehave cancer?
Is she missing a leg?
Did her crack-addict mother die when she was an infant?
Why is this bratty straight white blonde girl crying while watching Selma/Dallas Buyer's Club/The Help?

I have to brush my hair
Instantly
When I get out of the pool
In the summer
(Hopping from foot to foot of course
Because the sun has baked the concrete)
Because if I don't
It becomes a half-curly knotted mess.

And if I don't braid it directly after that
Then it dries
In resemblance to a Yield Sign
In a somewhat triangular form

And I'm chubby.
Not fat. It would be better if I were fat.
If I were fat then things would be
Proportionalish
But instead I'm just
A 5'2 and 3/4" girl
With DDs that no one wants
Because "***** don't count when you're chubby"
And baby fat that lounges on my stomach
No matter how many kilometers I row.

My fingers are too small for my hands.
My glasses make my eyes look huge.
My lips are forever chapped.
My cheeks are overly red.
My eyes are too dark to be pretty
And I know it.
I know all of it.

I've lived in my body for longer than you have.
So don't lie to me.
Don't tell me that I'm cute
Beautiful
Or god forbid pretty
Because I really
Really
Hate being lied to.