And I tell them that It's okay that I'm not Because I know I'm not But I don't like being lied to
I know I'm not Because I can't let tears Drip down my cheeks As they shimmer in the dim light Of the movie credits
I sob until My face is red and damp and puffy And I'm clinging to your sleeve And just crying so uncontrollably That people sitting next to us In the dark theater Might glimpse over to see if maybe I have a reason to cry so hard.
Does shehave cancer? Is she missing a leg? Did her crack-addict mother die when she was an infant? Why is this bratty straight white blonde girl crying while watching Selma/Dallas Buyer's Club/The Help?
I have to brush my hair Instantly When I get out of the pool In the summer (Hopping from foot to foot of course Because the sun has baked the concrete) Because if I don't It becomes a half-curly knotted mess.
And if I don't braid it directly after that Then it dries In resemblance to a Yield Sign In a somewhat triangular form
And I'm chubby. Not fat. It would be better if I were fat. If I were fat then things would be Proportionalish But instead I'm just A 5'2 and 3/4" girl With DDs that no one wants Because "***** don't count when you're chubby" And baby fat that lounges on my stomach No matter how many kilometers I row.
My fingers are too small for my hands. My glasses make my eyes look huge. My lips are forever chapped. My cheeks are overly red. My eyes are too dark to be pretty And I know it. I know all of it.
I've lived in my body for longer than you have. So don't lie to me. Don't tell me that I'm cute Beautiful Or god forbid pretty Because I really Really Hate being lied to.