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Khaniek Mar 2018
It's the images , the after images that scares me. No one really pays attention to the pictures. No one is focused on what's left, you know?
They don't care about what's painted on your heart.
It'll make you cold.. the images, the after images..
Once upon a time we'd look forward to the happily ever after,
now we fear the thought of forever.
I know I hate it, the curse that follows 'I do'.
**** it,
I've lost track of my thoughts.
It's the images, the after images is what I fear.
I've found peace in the darkness, in the emptiness,
I lost hope in the possibilities.
Lots of empty eyes with plastic smiles promising friendship.
You were,
the peace I searched for, found, and lost.
With little left to keep me sane I found comfort in poison.
Beautiful poison that slowly calmed my chaotic thoughts..
Even now it wouldn't be fair to hate the world, but I do.
Let your heart free on this sheet of paper, let it breathe, let go..
Let it out, all the thoughts you've kept to yourself.. Just breathe, for this moment try to be free.
It's hard huh?
..yeah, I know.
Khaniek Mar 2018
Love lives within the moon,
I see the moon in your eyes.
Do I need to explain further?
Love lives within the stars,
I see the stars when you smile,
Now do you understand?
The nights are peaceful when you're near. Beautiful dreams no place for nightmares.
I think I've found it... my wonderland.
Khaniek Feb 2018
I understand my selfishness now.
I’ve been greedy and careless with my wants and desires.
My world isn’t just about me,
So,
Here is my apology.

No one was allowed to get close.
No, I didn’t want you in. I needed control of every feeling and if you threatened that you were done away with.

Even now I am content with loneliness but it’s unfair for me to expect you to feel the same.
I had an epiphany or maybe you could call it divine intervention.
God loves me. I mean, He loves everybody, but when I think about the thoughts that I have and things I haven’t said,
He still loves me.
I’m sorry. .
I don’t know how to express the things going on in my head.
And what I’m writing probably doesn’t make sense,
I just thought it unfair that I wouldn’t do the same.
Allow them close.
You know,
the people who care.
Still, I am a work in progress.
At least I’m aware..?
I won’t promise to let you in or even invite you closer,
And I’m not saying it will never happen either..
Just not now.
I’m still learning love, to love.
Khaniek Jan 2018
You can’t be mad if she found love. You never loved her. She has evolved.  Love is a lesson and she’s a student, ready and willing. The past has no presence here.
Khaniek Dec 2017
I want more words.
Talk to me more please.
Show me how much you need me to hear your thoughts.
I want to be inside of your head, right there chasing away your doubts.
Is that too much?
Let me in baby, I’ll show you peace in there.
Inside those fears I’ll shine love.
This is it though,
I won’t ask again. .
Khaniek Nov 2017
Seeing where the world ends and where it should begin,
caught up in what was instead of what is.

Craving sweet nothings and empty promises just to make the  day lighter.

Wanting the lies, just to be comforted enough to sleep through one
night.
Knowing the truth and ignoring it for the a pleasure that will soon disappear..  too soon.

Lost in a paradise created by envy and greed, selfishly separating myself but staying close enough to fuel the fire, accepting the warmth it creates , but still so cold.

Living in a time where everything is a game and everyone is in a hurry, no can be trusted and your bestfriend is the one plotting your demise.

Sweet revenge on my tongue, the bittersweet taste of loving what's wrong.
Khaniek Oct 2017
Come here and whisper in my ear all the lies you feed yourself,
The fairytales that should chase the nightmares away.
Tell me about the times lost,
How you went searching for what you thought was promised.
Tell me when you realized that nothing is promised. How the nightmares were reality and the fairytales did nothing to comfort your heart.

I want to know how you still smile.
When everything in you cries, the tears that hit your pillow every night, the unanswered questions that plague your mind, the dishonesty, the brokenness, the pain that festers still with each breath you take, the aching in the pit of your belly, the endless pulsing agony that travels straight to your fingertips simply because of a name said,
You know what comes next. Why do you take the same steps? Why are you still willing to smile?
Nothing will be left. Then what?

I can not smile for you. Not the way you’d want me to. I will not pretend. I will not pretend for you or anyone else.. I refuse to accept this false happiness so that you can laugh and smile with your woe.
If you need him so much I won’t tell you to let go,
Just don’t expect me to be apart of your gaiety.
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