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Kaliya Skye Feb 2021
Starved or over–fed by the stars,
Ivory tints to the shade of strawberries

Over Ripe
And wondering when she'll heal.

He's busy in his study, looking up the way
That a plant can cure the sting.

Often she wonders, as she looks to the sky
Do stars twinkle in morse code,
Whispering secrets for us to hold?

She feels too young to know the answers,
But she always finds her way.
She know the moon has begun to love her,
But she's always led astray.

And she holds onto his sweet nothings
Like it's a fraying rope,
Praying they'll survive this.

But he's been silent these past few days,
So she runs to the highest hill.
Looks up to the stars, asking for guidance.

And even the universe seems conflicted
And the divine asks for her advice on timing,
And she feels afraid, she's shrunk again,
And this time she's much too small to see.

The moon guiding her.
The stars wishing on her.
The sun tinting her pink to make her blush.
The universe pushing her forward.
All she sees is him, but he isn't looking back.

She sees him in their room at night,
and at the bottom of her chardonnay
She's so sure he'll speak to her,
So she stays, ready to listen.
Kaliya Skye Jan 2021
it's electric
chilling to the touch
can't let go of the idea

your hands gliding
down my arms
to grasp my hands

it's a silly i suppose
the way i dream of you
but i can't help it

have we met before?
or do you stay here
during waking life?

locked away, as i remain.
longing for the moments of rest
where i'll still find you

do you wait for me?
between delicate dreams
and a fifth dimension?

do you know how you move me?
phantom touches of fingertips
as you look into my eyes?

god, i'd love to be loved
to remember the glow if it,
even for a moment.

to remember how it feels
to wear a borrowed sweater
or to lend mine to a lover

to wear it.
the hug that lasts
'til you decide it's over

to feel it.
the warmth that lingers,
your heart in their sleeves

to breathe it.
the smell of their cologne,
the connected memories of being held

held in a way that let you know
that they never want to let go,
that to do so is a temporary measure

so later on,
they can embrace you once again
reliving the euphoria of human connection

but is it love?
to crave when you are so starved
or is it merely loneliness

to crave the escape of a lover's arms
carefully wrapped around you,
as they whisper low

those sweet nothings,
telling you that you are everything
when you have felt so empty

a resurgence of half-filled cups,
rose-tinted outlooks and lovesick melodies
exchanged glances that form their own languages

and i want so badly
for a name to be honey in my mouth again,
so sweet i am afraid to open up and let it out

i crave so deeply the feeling
of being fully clothed and yet naked,
fully myself and fully in love.

and i may be a romantic,
but i don't need flowers at my door
i don't need you to tell me what your heart is for

i want the little things,
tag teaming the dishes as you tell me your day,
the rough draft of the email you need to send

( if it needs an edit, i promise to be kind )

nothing speaks of love like the mundane,
to share a life; to share even a moment
what else could be so intimate?

i want to know your middle name
or to invent, should you not already possess one
i want to have knowledge that gives fae their power

i want to know your favorite color,
so i can wear it when i'm alone
to encapsulate the meaning

i desire above all else,
to be loved
with only the best intentions

why would the world be beautiful
if every inch of it didn't deserve
to be enveloped by love?

i ponder alone
i'm listening to love songs on repeat until they tell me their stories
what is it like to be a muse? i've only ever written of others,
always the dreamer, never the subject
would i know what to do?
Kaliya Skye Jan 2021
i want the butterflies
glowing in my lungs
whispering nervous truths

i crave the breath
catching in my throat
warm bodies brought together

i'd **** for dancing
physical, verbal, tantric
never knowing who is leading
---
i miss first dates
the hopeful feeling fraught with nerves
fidgeting as you giggle at jokes that aren't funny

and all the learning,
favorite colors that grow to anecdotes
and then to second dates

all the time it's blossoming;
blooming into something real,
butterflies depart, letting only light remain

and i can stop the pining easily
love songs are vibrant; poetry melts hearts
but don't romanticize me
---
i've been the final girl at a haunted house
cleaning up bodies; exercising ghosts
i don't need your love to be full

i don't have another half, i'm already whole
and you can be my twin flame, if you won't fizzle out
i've had many matches that only left smoke
---
and if our love is a circus, and you are the clown
don't be surprised if i wait in the crowd
i'm done pulling teeth; and i'm tired of games
friend, lover, soulmate- i'm tired of names

i'm tired of labels that differ but all feel the same.
when i'm set alight, i'll be feeling no shame
and if you want all of me, i'll have no regrets
but don't string me along, i'm no marionette
no thoughts, no plan, just wrote.
there's some dumb rhymes and weird pacing but it's fine :)
it's all about expelling feelings by writing them into the abyss!!!!
but yeah, wow, i miss first dates lol
this is four parts, um, each correlates to a word in the title- its like phases???
Kaliya Skye Nov 2020
how long have i been standing here
the edge of the roof seems so high
and i've always been afraid of heights
but like the fool i feel i should leap

why won't the songs i love
fit the mood that i am in?

i keep pressing shuffle,
"surprise me," i ask the universe
that embodies my fingertip
as i press the button
over and over again

and i sit at the edge of the world
which is only a rooftop,
looking for the right song for the occasion

how can every sound feel wrong?

in this moment, i'm convinced
you've sabotaged my goodbye

so i stand back up, looking over the edge

it's only a ladder's length down,
but somehow climbing is scarier
than a fall could ever be
the pace makes all the difference.

so perhaps, i should just take
a couple steps back
and take a deep breath

and while the sky isn't blue
and i am alone with thoughts in my head
perhaps this might be a nice place
to paint a picture of what it is that i want

i feel like i'm constantly forgetting
who the little girl i wanted to be
had as an answer for the future

but one day i'll make her proud

her little smile is worth it

and maybe, that's what your sabotage did

it made me look away from the world
and into my head for a moment
and i've spent so many weeks clearing out cobwebs that i wonder
if it was your plan all along

you think of me often, but your hand
hovers over the button

press send. stop leaving it to fate.

i can only have 3-day lovers for so long

i still remember how it feels to run
my hands through misbehaving hair
cinnamon sighs escaping unkissed lips
as we discuss what's on your plate
before you fill mine with fresh fruit
and pancakes

why are you on my mind?

you've been a stranger far too long to be a friend

and yet i see you in my dreams

ask to kiss me in the dead of night
lazily lay an arm on my waist
and whisper out wishes for tomorrow

are you letting yourself rest nowadays?

are you still worried about your brother?

are you still in your head?

did he ever message you back?

do you still write songs?

did you unite your preponderances

with the sound?

or are you still sitting in your void

snapping to find the echo

within an empty room

cluttered with fancy clothes

and fairy lights?

perhaps your top hat sits upturned
among your sheets and ship
along with two copies of a tape
of a movie you don't care about

maybe you're shutting out the world
with parties you know are unsafe
to feel alive during the plague

do you still think of those two bears
on their bike, left to their own devices
in a little display where we could point
murmuring between camera clicks
that "that one's dressed like you!"
and "this one has my hat!"

do you still hate my guts for crimes
i never commited?

do you still want my father's job?

i still have a wrapped up piece of you
in a plastic bag in my bedroom
half hidden so i dont think about it

i have other means to get high,
so i never smoked it.

can we trade?

you don't need to say hello,

or to hold me as i cry.

but could i please have my stuff back?

i miss those safe pages i let you hold
i sense your presence when i am half asleep, but what do you call wishful thinking when it's only neutral?
Kaliya Skye Nov 2020
lips part and i feel the chill
of the countertop beneath my legs
your lips are on mine and it feels taboo
to know the path, but walk with you

we'd both stumble through apologizes
but it's too late now
no time for show and tell,
only the treasures that we've found

as you kiss down my neck
and i feel a shiver
down my spine

and when i awake
i find none of it is real,
merely a projection of how badly i'd
like to be kissed
by someone deemed safe

but i'm moving forward all the time
no time for a delicate touch
or passionate kiss
no time for lopsided smirks and
intoxicating cologne

i'm much too busy
walking around my room,
waiting for an answer
and searching for truth

i'm much too busy being
someone else's forbidden fruit

but i'll still romanticize
any passing glance
i just value freedom

but should i give this a chance?
i've slept the whole day through, but i remember you. yes, i remember you.
Kaliya Skye Nov 2020
(pretend to sleep an extra hour)

tell yourself it's to be safe
but you're waiting on a call

or a text
or an email
or a letter

or a friend

you're waiting on connection
from a plane that never lands

(lay there just another day)

check the time
it's the witching hour

and you're cold
and it's dark
and the world feels hollow

waiting on connection
from a plane that never lands

waiting on the wishes
and the canceling of plans
i'm sleepy :)
Kaliya Skye Nov 2020
i want to sound like you
so self-assured on this hazy morning
the way you use your words as i
stumble through apologies

and your hand
brushes my knee
— and all at once
i am so aware of my own breathing

i took a rest here because i couldn't sleep
but you could talk to me all day

and

if i promise not to say a word
will you stay here?
butter-voiced lullabies
guarded by apathetic tendencies
sipping from a world's best mug

lay with me and ask me
what i see in the clouds
my eyes are closed, and i paint you
a picture of us dancing up there
but when i awake you are gone
leaving me with a daisy chain
and a back ache

and maybe this is why i stay up
at least i know when you're going

there were no clouds in the sky today
i'm sorry i couldn't pay attention
maybe the sky is too bright for me
to feel like i belong

but my bed is the void of space
and it is too big for me now
it's lonely to think we're the only
intelligent life out here

but

i feel so alone, we just might be.

i feel so alone, we just might be.
i feel so alone, we just might be.
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