the last time he went out of
his mind he liked it
so much there
that he never came back

not even after the
alcohol left
his blood

he keeps writing to this day

addresses women with 'sweangel'
a combination of sweet
and angel, I guess

but never spends more
than a matter of weeks
with any of them

some take pity on him
and some morbid curiosity

but no one loves him
truly
only his insanity

Over nine thousand miles in distance
Yet my mind can’t escape
Still plaguing my thoughts
Pain brought by your mere existence
The distance will never be enough
Because I can still remember
And I always probably will
What it felt like to be right against you

You were the girl of my dreams,
only you weren't exactly what you had seemed.
One of these days I will finally listen,
everyone and the stars told me it was too good to be true.

You’re on my mind less and less
It’s taken time but I’m finally no longer a mess
I know now that I just wanted to feel
Thinking our romance would be unreal
All of the pressure broke the dream
Something I hope will not become my life’s theme

Say it over and over again
I repeat to myself
In hopes I will heed my own warning

I tell myself to let go
But my heart is the one behind the reins
And it’s dragging me into the swamp

She wears a fake smile
Bearing her perfect white teeth
An illusion i'm only just starting to see past

Because reality is not as pretty as the pictures you paint
Or as your voice when you sing me lies
Ugly is my denial of reality that kept me coming back for more

You've been hurt before, along with it the closing of doors.                                                        
  ­              I try to open you up,
but you're closed so tightly welded shut.                                  
With time brick turns to glass, despite just meeting, it feels at last.                        
         In your green house of flowers, my hearts been buried for hours.                                
    It needs somewhere to grow,
but for now it's just stowed.