Even if the golden jellyfish are disappearing
I'll always have one with me.
The best one out of them all,
has never left or let me fall.
If I sank deep enough before,
their lake would've consumed me;
left me poisoned and faded.
but with him I'm unafraid
I'll drown in his arms
before I worry about pointless things.

I climb into bed
in the early AM's
and then struggle to get
one leg out of my blankets

I look up at my ceiling
and realize I forgot to turn on my fan.
I don't usually admit it
but without noise in the background,
the dark leaves me feeling scared.

I'm crying,
your hand reaches out from inside the screen,
you touch my face as you reach out to me.
I smile despite these tears you've wiped away.
*I miss you.

I feel the cold seeping in through the walls,
and I stare out the window at the snow that falls.
My eyes are tired and the silent news channel that's playing annoys me.
I wish you'd sleep in your bed and not on the couch, it's depressing.

As the leader leaves, out the door into the freezing,
I climb back up the stairs to my room and feel sad I got up so early.
Why doesn't anyone inform me of plans they have that include me?
I take off two layers and want to go back to sleep... but I'll be awake in another hour either way.

my phone pings
and as I pick it up
I see your messages,
blurred, but there.
my eyes shut
as I think to myself,

*I'm having trouble
falling asleep...

Silence...

Except for my fan.
All that I knew,
was sadness back then.
but these days are brighter
and bolder and more lovely,
back then I never would've guessed
I could be this happy.

I only wish I could tell the old me,
that things get better.