Some people think I'm dramatic,
"She's gotta be fibbing-"
I'm not sure why people won't take me seriously
I'm always "too sensitive," never impressive

They wonder why I choose to hide,
Stay inside and never visit
Because they don't accept who I am.
They throw me in the family box for misfits.

I tell myself I want to die
Push myself harder until I fly
I'm going so fast,
Don't look up at who's next
to me, I'm too busy
I don't want to see or accommodate
the people I've always pleased
coworkers, family and strangers around me
I will stop smiling at them all
and unwind the ribbon around my
face and body, I'm done
I don't want to pretend anymore
I'm sick
Of not knowing who I am
Because each time I show myself
I get convinced I have to be someone else
For them to love me, to wanna call me,
to ask to see me
they have to need something
so I'm done
I'll keep whispering to myself how I wanna
Cut and run
Just push the button thay explodes it all
and melt into the floor
I hate it

It happened again
I let someone in
I felt like we were close
but we floated apart

I'll try to distract myself with art,
I feel so alone,
but can't tell anyone
is this how it starts?

My montage?

I see it in TV shows,
movies and music videos
People evolve and change
but I seem to stay the same

But I'll wait for my beginning
The part where I press play
and see myself at the end
I wonder, will I be grinning?

I feel full of regret,
but I cannot reach out again
to these people I copied
whether it was a mistake or not

I have realized I don't have identity.
This is why I'm lonely.
I don't know who I am
I know who I like but drive them away

I'm a mirror for others to use as display.

When I get close to people,
I tend to overshare.
especially when I spot a shared interest.

You’re into cheesy memes?
I’ll flood your inbox with my favorites
You like scary things?
Even if I’m not always into them
I’ll find the ones I do like
thinking you’ll appreciate them too

But lately,
I’ve started to think...
maybe people don’t like this.
Because over time
they start to drift away.

It stings to be labeled a copycat
When all I've ever wanted is friendship
People close to me that I can be open with.

Maybe I'm meant to float alone
Like a golden jelly,
I should make my own pattern.

There are days,
or maybe they're moments,
times where I wish I could forget
I want to have amnesia

I want to start over,
or maybe relive.
I want to push the button,
the one that changes it all

I can hit refresh
There's too many memories
I don't want to recall

As far back as I can see
I've always had a question,
"Whats wrong with me?"

I can't connect with my sisters,
or with my mom or dad,
My face, to them, only ever looks sad.

I want to say maybe this wasn't always the case,
Maybe before I can remember,
There was something that changed?

I don't know what shifted,
What made me so different
I just know I felt unwanted often.